Crazy Gun Safe Story [EDIT: Turns Out I'm A Genius]

"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura) 10/02/2020 at 13:48 • Filed to: None

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I called the Department of Idiot Customers at Fort Knox Vaults this morning and a very friendly woman told me how to open my safe:

1. Turn the knob to the left.
2. Enter the code.
3. Turn the knob to the right.

Worked perfectly.

I had been doing this:

1. Enter the code.
2. Turn the knob to the left.
3. Utter an expletive. (At this point, I’d have reset the mechanism with Step 2.)

In my defense, the manual was locked inside the safe...

So my confidence in this product has been restored, and I am laughing at myself.

INTERESTING NOTE: The friendly woman at Fort Knox Vaults was greatly interested to learn from me about the Lock Picking Lawyer on YouTube and how of the many dozens of devices he has compromised, usually in about 4 seconds, Fort Knox’s pistol box was the one pistol box he would recommend. As far as I am concerned, there could hardly be a stronger recommendation.

*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*

This is the Fort Knox pistol safe. About $250 new. I bought mine on deal from Fort Knox, so it was around that price with tax and shipping. I received it maybe four weeks ago and it’s been sitting on my table since that time. This is, by the way, the only pistol safe that Lock Picking Lawyer recommends.

My plan was to install a carry handle on it, then mount it in a cabinet beside my bed. I even bought stainless steel fasteners and a dedicated (cheapo) little ratchet and hex bit to drive them, and T-nuts, so that I could readily unmount in an emergency, keeping the tool right there in the safe.

I never got around to updating the combination from factory default, in large part because I hadn’t decided what it should be. The factory default for that mechanism is (2 and 4 together), then 3.

This morning, the safe refuses to open.

I’m not expecting Fort Knox to believe me when I call them later today, because I’m sure plenty of idiots lock themselves out of their gun safes every day. I can’t ask you to believe me when I say that I never fooled with the default combination. The little ratchet and bit and stainless steel fasteners and the instruction manual are all safely locked inside the safe.

But believe me when I say this: all I feel right now is relief that my two revolvers and $4,500 in cash are not locked in that safe.

And believe this: I will F***ING NEVER trust another combination-only safe. For anything.

I will keep you posted. Even if Fort Knox offered to sent me another one of these boxes, I would not use it.

shop-teacher > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 07:07

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D'oh!

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > shop-teacher 10/02/2020 at 07:16

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Like, Oof .

I don’t expect anybody to believe that I’m not just some pendejo who forgot the combination to his safe. But boy am I relieved that my handguns and cash aren’t inside there.

Sovande > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 07:28

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Thank heavens ! You can still shoot someone!

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Sovande 10/02/2020 at 07:30

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And buy gasoline. BTW, are you trying to be a d**k?

Sovande > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 07:38

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Not at all. Just celebrating the fact that there two more readily accessible handguns out there ready to do what they do best. 

shop-teacher > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 07:39

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I believe you. 

barnie > Sovande 10/02/2020 at 07:41

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Hell yea. I take comfort in having the ability to shoot someone. Don’t mess with me and  mine. Plus ready cash is even more useful.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Sovande 10/02/2020 at 07:42

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What mine do best is stay locked up, hopefully forever. I am more concerned about the cash, to be honest.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > shop-teacher 10/02/2020 at 07:42

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Thank you. It’s a crazy thing.

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 07:42

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Yep, he’s trying to be a dick. 

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > haveacarortwoorthree2 10/02/2020 at 07:49

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That’s how I felt inclined to interpret the remark. But d**k is so vague. More like condescending effete  Liberal of the sort who bring us the likes of Donald Trump. One of the left’s deplorables. More like that.

Jb boin > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 07:53

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If you have the receipt of your purchase I don't think they will be too annoying to give you a solution or send you another, if possible ask for another model that can be opened another way.

Sovande > barnie 10/02/2020 at 08:01

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Anyone being able to shoot anyone  else for whatever infraction, real or imagined, is what makes me so proud to be an American. Imagine if you had to go back to the old days of beating a fella to death?  Would it even be worth all the trouble?  With a gun, there is no thinking necessary, just squeeze the trigger till it goes click.  No muss, no fuss.

benn454 > Sovande 10/02/2020 at 08:11

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 Four minutes. 

barnie > Sovande 10/02/2020 at 08:11

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Keep believing that. It makes us better people. That we can does not mean we do. And yea, there is thinking there. Gun c ontrol is being able to hit what you aim at . It is also knowing when not to even show a weapon. Far more crime is stopped by a show of force than the application there of.

My bird IS the word > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 08:12

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I don't really buy into the idea of small safes. Unless it is bolted to the floor they can always just steal the safe and crack it later witj power tools.

Sovande > barnie 10/02/2020 at 08:14

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I thought gun control was using two hands? Like jerking off. 

Sovande > benn454 10/02/2020 at 08:14

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Until? 

benn454 > Jb boin 10/02/2020 at 08:14

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 Or there's some factory reset combo he can put in, perhaps. 

benn454 > Sovande 10/02/2020 at 08:15

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 Average time it takes for the police to arrive on scene.

Harbor freight smells like ass and cosmoline > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 08:25

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i had a name brand gun safe for a pistol. That I was bolting to my night stand.

I dropped it and the $200 case opened up.

I knock on the corner where the latch is with a good amount of force it pops open

I email the company

Their response is, our gun safes are to hold fir e arms not secure them.

atfsgeoff > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 08:34

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Nothing that couldn’t be solved with an angle grinder, if you had actually locked up your guns and cash.

barnie > Sovande 10/02/2020 at 08:44

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Haven’t spent much time with guns have ya? Your ignorance shows this in both statements. With a long gun , probably. With a handgun and a bit of practice, no.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > My bird IS the word 10/02/2020 at 08:49

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This one was to have been fastened down. Not perfect, but slow the crooks down a bit.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Harbor freight smells like ass and cosmoline 10/02/2020 at 08:51

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Yeah. I think I’m going to make my own with some kind of padlock. Not sure yet.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > atfsgeoff 10/02/2020 at 08:53

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That’s what it would have come down to. I had an electronic one that crapped its combination while I was on a trip and it took me about 15 seconds to open it, but I had to go to Lowe’s first and buy a pry bar.

ranwhenparked > Harbor freight smells like ass and cosmoline 10/02/2020 at 09:03

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Securing stuff is literally the main purpose of a "safe" , otherwise you just have a container or cabinet

Bandit > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 09:23

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I dont think he’s trying to be a duck? There were no quacks in his post. 

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Bandit 10/02/2020 at 09:32

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Dock , Mister!

Bandit > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 09:34

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I was mistaken, it was Donk .

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Bandit 10/02/2020 at 09:45

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Dunk

Milky > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 09:55

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I forgot about that guy! ... off to watch a review.

Well without reveling too much I worked on a gun lock design a few years. Just the face of the product, owner engineered the rest. But luckily it works as intended. Never was supposed to be unbreakable, meant to be the fastest. Because like the lock picking lawyer said, a lot of gun owners have no lock for self defense.

DipodomysDeserti > benn454 10/02/2020 at 09:56

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That’s seems pretty optimistic. Whoever timed that out must have lived next to a police station.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Milky 10/02/2020 at 10:02

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I will fabricate my own pistol safe now that uses a padlock of some sort and hope that if anyone ever tries to rob my home, they don’t have Lock Picking Lawyer’s skills.

Milky > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 10:08

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Good luck!

FWIW the person doing a B&E probably isn't too bright to get them in that situation in the first place.  My personal view is gun locks are 99% kiddo defense.  

MKULTRA1982(ConCrustyBrick) > Sovande 10/02/2020 at 10:21

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His whole point is he is trying to make them less accessible? Your concern tells me you want to buy him a new safe? 

Danny Korecki > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 10:32

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What would have gone in the safe?

benn454 > DipodomysDeserti 10/02/2020 at 11:27

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Yeah, it varies wildly depending on where you live and what kind of crime you report, among other factors.

https://www.safesmartliving.com/home-security/average-police-response-time/

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Milky 10/02/2020 at 13:10

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B&E?

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Danny Korecki 10/02/2020 at 13:12

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Handguns and cash. BUT... It turns out that I am a genius and I was operating the thing incorrectly.

DipodomysDeserti > benn454 10/02/2020 at 13:24

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My brother had a break in a few months ago in which big scary guns were stolen (they grabbed his whole safe somehow). A cop showed up six hours after the call and made the remarkable discovery that the thief was wearing some sort of “waffle pattern” shoe (it was clearly a Vans footprint, which both my brother and I were wearing).

Beefchips > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 13:52

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lol thanks for lifting my morning, even at your own expense. I can’t tell you how many times i’ve done something similar...

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 13:53

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Break and Enter

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 13:55

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Thanks. Given their reputation I was surprised by your earlier experience.

I hear a lot of good things about them

The Snowman > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 14:01

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I used to work as a locksmith and can say that lawyer is legit! Dude is crazy skilled and most of the gun safe/lock products that aren't 500lbs or heavier are almost worthless barely good enough to stop a curious preteen.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 14:05

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My only accessible fire stem is my compound bow. I’m the only one in the house strong enough to draw it. I keep the bolt separate from the gun on my rifle. I’m concerned the kids would mess with my shit but they seem more concerned about mine craft at the moment.

Khalbali > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 14:09

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Glad you got it sorted out, and I'm gonna have to look into that safe, I'm anticipating getting my first gun soon but safety is the number one concern, I'm not concerned with self defense or anything, it's purely as a hobby since I just don't enjoy driving as much in chicago as I did in denver.

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 14:10

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I looked into the Washington gun laws the other day out o f curiosity. Pass the background check and you can buy handguns. Open carry without a license, which can’t be used as probable cause for a stop. Concealed carry permits easily accessible. If no permit, it must be unloaded if carrying i n a vehicle. Stand your ground. 

Quite a departure from Canada.

ranwhenparked > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 14:57

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I hate combination safes, I had one job with 5 different combo safes - most of which I only had to go into once in a blue moon - so, of course I never memorized all of them. Carrying around a bunch of wallet cards with combos on them sort of defeats the purpose, although for 3 of them, I only ever had the first half anyways .

benn454 > DipodomysDeserti 10/02/2020 at 16:06

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 And people entrust their lives to these guys. No thanks. 

benn454 > This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: 10/02/2020 at 16:11

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 That's pretty right-wing for a state with such a large hipster population. 

benn454 > Khalbali 10/02/2020 at 16:13

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 If you're just looking for a range toy and not a carry pistol, you can't go wrong with a 1911.

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > benn454 10/02/2020 at 16:16

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As I’m beginning to learn. Apparently a local hole in the wall diner  sells MAGA hats as well , or so says one of the reviews anyway. And I could be wrong, but the East Indian hotel owner seemed to be very supportive of Trump’s immigration policies.

This is all very unexpected.

Khalbali > benn454 10/02/2020 at 17:53

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I don’t really know much about guns, I’m taking a safety class in a couple weeks, but I’ll probably just get a .22 revolver to start. Thanks for the rec though, I’ll definitely keep it in mind for the future, highly doubt wife will ever let me have more than one pistol at a time though, she might be ok with one pistol and one rifle though. I just like old school stuff, to me a single action wheelgun seems like a manual trans.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > The Snowman 10/02/2020 at 18:50

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This save is very robust for what it is. My idea is to have it stoutly mounted, but also out of site. The latter is as important as the former.

Please see that I have updated my post and confessed to being an idiot.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Khalbali 10/02/2020 at 18:53

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I’d recommend .38 special if you’re thinking revolver. I find .22 frankly boring to shoot.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Khalbali 10/02/2020 at 18:53

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The problem was entirely mine and my confidence is entirely restored.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: 10/02/2020 at 18:54

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Or from California.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ranwhenparked 10/02/2020 at 18:56

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That last bit sounds like launch codes.

ranwhenparked > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 19:38

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Bank, I had the "A" half, along with a couple of my staff for days when I wasn't there, everyone else had a B half, you needed both to open the main vault, night drop safe, and the TCR

Jayvincent > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 19:45

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That statement should be on the official Oppo banner, because it 100% sums up all of my car repair projects. Great work!

The problem was entirely mine and my confidence is entirely restored. - Rusty Vandura - Can you Breathe?  Oct. 2nd, 2020

Khalbali > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 20:28

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I'll keep that in mind, I'm sure I'd get there eventually but I've never even shot a gun before, just trying to find a new hobby. I have a tendency to go too deep on a hobby and then decide I don't like it so I'm trying to take it slower this time, I spent over a grand on an aquarium like 6 months ago and it's already gone so the missus is less than pleased.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Khalbali 10/02/2020 at 20:56

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.38 special is a good caliber. You can get light target loads that are rather tame to shoot, but it’s also potentially got a decent bullet weight if you want to shoot something a little bit more exciting. I’m not a big expert by any means, but I shy away from the complexity of semiauto pistols, and I don’t like the moving parts. I think the revolvers are a bit more “pure” of a shooting experience.

This is a picture I post pretty regularly here. These are my hands and the revolver is my cousin’s Ruger Super Redhawk Alaskan in .454 Casull . That is a mighty handgun. A might rowdy handgun. My cousin refers to it as bear repellant , also falling into a category of mountain guns. The idea is that you carry it in a holster on your chest where you can always put your hand on it if a bear comes after you. (You could probably scare away the bear just by shooting the thing in the air...)

Khalbali > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/02/2020 at 21:34

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I'd like to eventually get a s&w 686 eventually but I think I'll probably start with like a Ruger wrangler or something. I dunno, like I said I still haven't actually ever even shot a gun, I just tend to jump right into the deep end with stuff and waste a bunch of money that I can't really afford.

Danny Korecki > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/03/2020 at 00:00

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well I meant more what specific handfun. I am an enthusiast of the 2nd.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Danny Korecki 10/03/2020 at 00:11

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Two S&W revolvers: a Model 66 in . 357 with a four-inch barrel, and a Cheif’s Special in .38 s pl . The latter is what I would carry if one could do that in California.

Danny Korecki > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 10/03/2020 at 00:14

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Get yourself a Glock and call it a day lol

CivicWagonEngineer > benn454 10/03/2020 at 01:45

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Plenty of conservatives here too, they just aren’t in Seattle

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Danny Korecki 10/03/2020 at 09:49

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Primitive Earth weapons.