"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
09/26/2019 at 12:47 • Filed to: shitposting
11
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"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
09/26/2019 at 12:47 • Filed to: shitposting | 11
| 15 |
No sir, I was going a perfect speed, a great, wonderful speed, probably the best speed anyone’s ever gone, but really probably because of the construction , you see a lot of people speeding I bet, because of all the construction , a lot of people are talking about it actually.
“Uhh well I didn’t mention speed yet... but anyway the construction has been looked at, and in fact it’s been complete since last Spring ... S ir I have word from our aircraft that you were going 114 mph. The speed limit is 25 right here because this is a School Zone .”
No, you see, that’s the problem. These school zones are just put up wherever, there’s no control, no jurisdiction, they just say ‘oh this looks like a good place for a school zone’ just becau se they can’t stand how fast my car is, not that I was going fast at all though but I could.
“Sir this is a school zone because there’s a school right here. You can see the kids trapped in that burning bus you just ran off the road as it was turning into the school. Also, I can see your cruise control was set to 117mph, it’s on the dash right behind your hand there. Were you trying to cover that so I couldn’t see it? Because your hand is between YOU and the dash, but from where I’m standing it’s perfectly clear.”
I wasn’t trying to cover anything up, it’s just your perspective. And that bus isn’t my fault, it’s the crazy regulations on buses, someone ought to really look at that. I didn’t do anything wrong, how fast was that plane going? There’s like, no way they could measure my speed from that speed, I know how planes work, I know the best plane guy . They go like, really fast - a lot of people are saying this Blackhawk, Blacksmith, Blackburn, Black... whatever- you figure it out- did a ground speed check and he was going 10 ,000 miles an hour (more than the speed of light, even) and cars look so small from up there , how do you even know it was my car and not yours? Anyway, you must have been going even faster than that , that’s the real crime here.
“But sir, your license plate says ‘IGO115' and your driving record says you’ve been suspected of a long list of moving violations but never convicted, however, the passenger in your car somehow always gets arrested... and also, this car belongs to your father? And finally, there was an undercover officer who goes by ‘ SR20' who’s been tailing you all day... ”
punkgoose17
> functionoverfashion
09/26/2019 at 12:55 |
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That was unexpected.
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functionoverfashion
> punkgoose17
09/26/2019 at 12:56 |
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Unexpected... like finding a $20 in a jacket you haven’t worn in 5 months? Or like, finding a dead mouse in a shoe you haven’t worn for 5 months?
fintail
> functionoverfashion
09/26/2019 at 12:59 |
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A s the handlers would say, pizdets.
OPPOsaurus WRX
> functionoverfashion
09/26/2019 at 13:01 |
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Why did I pull you over?
because I let you
Azrek
> functionoverfashion
09/26/2019 at 13:04 |
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I’d love to see some of the tubby officers here in full bulletproof vest and belts try and get in and outta that car.
ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability
> functionoverfashion
09/26/2019 at 13:23 |
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This is good shitposting...please keep doing this
ttyymmnn
> functionoverfashion
09/26/2019 at 13:23 |
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This is a metaphor, right?
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punkgoose17
> functionoverfashion
09/26/2019 at 13:30 |
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$10 and a dead mouse at the same time.
Thomas Donohue
> functionoverfashion
09/26/2019 at 13:42 |
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I’m really busy making this a great road, one of the best roads ever. S o you’ll need to stop mentioning all of these fake charges because I need to get back to reckless driving, while Tweeting all the time, and ignoring the other 30 or so police vehicles behind you as well. I’m very busy, the busiest, and need to get back to being very, very busy. OK? OK.
Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street.
> functionoverfashion
09/26/2019 at 13:51 |
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“Because I let you.”
Forrest
> functionoverfashion
09/26/2019 at 14:02 |
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That was magnificent
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functionoverfashion
> punkgoose17
09/26/2019 at 14:14 |
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I’ll take it.
One time I went to put on my ski boots for the first time in a season, and felt something in there. I shook it upside down, but nothing came out. Oh great, I thought. I reached in very, very tentatively and pulled out... a mouse. A toy mouse my cat had somehow gotten in there.
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functionoverfashion
> ttyymmnn
09/26/2019 at 14:19 |
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And yet, truth continues to be stranger than fiction.
Some see a blue dress. Others see treason.
Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy
> functionoverfashion
09/26/2019 at 15:54 |
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Those radar guns they use? Can’t trust ‘em. Fake news. Made in CHI-NA . Made by some bad hombres. Real bad hombres. Trust me, I know. I know the foremost expert in radar detectors. Real good friend of mine. Great guy. Gives me a lot of money. He told me I’m the best driver too. Drivers like that don’t get tickets. It’s fake. It’s not real. These radar detectors are just trying to give me a bad name.
MrDakka
> functionoverfashion
09/26/2019 at 15:57 |
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This is the kwality kontent I've been looking for