Florida Man found himself a girlfriend!

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 09/17/2019 at 21:24 • Filed to: None

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All I have to say about !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is the following quote: “A search of Thomas’ backpack turned up seven full cans of the alcoholic malt beverage Four Loko and one empty can .” Oh, and they were riding bikes, not driving a car .

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MKULTRA1982(ConCrustyBrick) > Textured Soy Protein 09/17/2019 at 21:35

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That rules 

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Textured Soy Protein 09/17/2019 at 21:35

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My grandfather used to own a bar. One of his regulars got a DUI on a bicycle after he was going down the sidewalk, blacked out, and crashed through a storefront window at 2 AM.

Now, can you guess why he was on a bicycle to begin with?

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Textured Soy Protein 09/17/2019 at 21:35

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This is peak Florida people right here.

ranwhenparked > Textured Soy Protein 09/17/2019 at 21:36

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Why does she look like she gave a blow job to a badger? 

functionoverfashion > Textured Soy Protein 09/17/2019 at 21:36

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Four Loko is still a thing?

Oh, right. Florida. 

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > ranwhenparked 09/17/2019 at 21:49

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She was fighting with the cops. They said in the report that they put her on the ground, which means they beat the shit out of her.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > Textured Soy Protein 09/17/2019 at 21:55

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This is a bad look on everyone involved, although the Florida couple might end up with the best look on the theory of no-half measures.

Put ting two people in the back of the same patrol car, especially on initial arrest when they probably haven’t been as thoroughly searched, seems like a questionable call. I think best practices would be more along the lines of one in the car and the other sitting on a curb under supervision (and in cuffs) until another unit arrived. Opening the door and a naked dude in cuffs getting away from you is how nicknames are earned. That cop will probably never be able to live it down .

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Textured Soy Protein 09/17/2019 at 21:57

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So are you NOT supposed to have sex in the back of the squad car???

---Asking for a friend

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > ranwhenparked 09/17/2019 at 21:59

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Can’t wait to see that Booking Report.

Indecent exposure

Drunk and Disorderly

Drug Possession

Fellating a Woodland Creature

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > functionoverfashion 09/17/2019 at 23:43

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Flor Loko?

Sammyno55 > Textured Soy Protein 09/18/2019 at 00:13

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OMFG! From the article,

“Thomas blew a .145 and a .146.

“It should be noted that the time delay from the stop to the breath test was three hours and 21 minutes.”

Holy shit! A .146 3 and a half hours after the arrest!

Here’s to you .146, bicycle DUI, sex in a cop car, Florida man! Dilly  Dilly! 

facw > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 09/18/2019 at 00:27

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You are supposed to sing!

pip bip - choose Corrour > Textured Soy Protein 09/18/2019 at 06:19

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execute them

Snuze: Needs another Swede > pip bip - choose Corrour 09/18/2019 at 08:30

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Counter-point: promote them!

pip bip - choose Corrour > Textured Soy Protein 09/18/2019 at 08:55

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https://www.9news.com.au/national/nsw-woman-who-had-bus-sex-on-a-bus-hunter-valley-charlestown/c53383c3-657a-4908-af60-9764b4456460

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Textured Soy Protein 10/11/2019 at 10:48

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I wish I could un-read this post and any comments that followed.