Being without my car is taking me to dark places.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
09/14/2019 at 23:19 • Filed to: committing to 20 miles per gallon

I can’t have pets in the loaner car, nor can my wife drive it (if I had only remembered to bring her license when I got the loaner...), so I started up the longboi for the first time in... weeks... and drove 100 miles to visit my parents with doggo . It was a joy to drive a manual again , even if it’s slow as hell and about as safe as ducking under a desk during a nuclear war.

Later, I ran some errands in the loaner. I discovered I had automatic high beams. Basically, if it detects no oncoming traffic or vehicles in front of me, they come on (wow, no shit). Golly : all these modern conveniences for things that were never problems in the first place, but hey . Comfy ride. Quiet as a child whispering a desperate prayer that mommy and daddy would stop fighting. It’s a nice car... but not “I’m willing to pay for it” nice.

I am now entertaining three extremes:

1) “Maybe I don’t even need the Paseo... I can sell it, pay off some debt, and just drive the longbed everywhere for a while.” [I can feel my wife’s psychic scream... she’s always worried about me dying in a car accident because I drive so much]

2) “Man this loaner sure is nice, but it’s not for me ... I should test-drive a Corolla XSE hatchback — or maybe a GSW or Alltrack!”

3) “I’m gonna sell everything and then kill myself trying to find a clean, low-miles loaded T100 for under 1 billion dollars* (*USD).”

Just give me my broken tape deck back, man...

DISCUSSION (16)

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
09/14/2019 at 23:32

Options 1 and 3 are bad ideas. Option 2 is a great idea, because you don’t have to commit to anything.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB
09/14/2019 at 23:35

Except I will fall in lurve and be tempted to buy a shiny new car I don’t need and can’t afford.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
09/14/2019 at 23:39

Personally I love the auto high beams on my Corolla. Super useful here in VT where after 9pm you might see 1 car every 15 minutes and will probably forget you had the high beams on.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
09/14/2019 at 23:46

I don’t not love them; my primitive brain is being contaminated by shiny new things...

jminer > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
09/14/2019 at 23:50

I’m with you on the auto high beams - I hate them. They work fine 50 % of the time, but the rest they either blind an oncoming car because you meet them on a turn or it turns off the brights on things like a street sign or gravel road.

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
09/14/2019 at 23:53

“Golly: all these modern conveniences for things that were never problems in the first place”

People use high beams way less than they should in situations where they should be used, and way more than they should in situations where they shouldn’t. Maybe it’s not a problem for you, but it’s definitely a problem.

Though really we should have adaptive beam-forming instead the primitive high/low mechanic.

Aremmes > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
09/14/2019 at 23:56

I approve of the auto high beams... For everyone else. For too long I’ve harbored a wish to shoot every moron who won’t switch to low beams. This would go a long way towards bringing my blood pressure down to treetop level.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > facw
09/14/2019 at 23:58

The example of automatic high-beams was to illustrate the experience of driving a 2019 UX250h as completely antithetical to driving a 1980 Toyota pickup.

Just Jeepin' > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
09/15/2019 at 00:08

I’m sure modern ones don’t have this problem, but in 1988 I was riding in a neighbor’s car with auto high beams and when we drove across a bridge with reflective safety signs the length of it, the high beams would go crazy. The signs would trigger them to turn off, then the low beams wouldn’t reflect as much, so they’d turn back on, then immediately turn off...over and over, several times a second.

Future Heap Owner > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
09/15/2019 at 00:32

No pets in the loaner?? I guess I understand, but, ... I’d be likely as not to just put a cover down and vacuum it up real well before I drove it back.

You should consider a slight career change from gigolo to camboy. It’s not exactly the same service, but it’s related, and you wouldn’t have to spend so much time driving around to all your clients.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Future Heap Owner
09/15/2019 at 00:36

Due to how poorly I'm aging lately, I'm afraid my looks will not be bringing in the cash. During my house visits, my clients often pay extra to keep all the lights off, or for me to wear a paper sack with a smiley face drawn on it.

smobgirl > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
09/15/2019 at 00:36

I left the Fiat at the same shop that checked it out before. The owner says just leave it for the check engine light and they’ll take care of it - they probably have a loaner I can take. Now, this is an independent German repair shop that appears to specialize in vintage Porsches so that sounded pretty unlikely. Sure enough, ten minutes later I’m out on the curb waiting for an Uber to the airport. (I don’t doubt that they have a loaner or two available, I just didn’t think for one second that I fit the profile of someone who might get one).

What I’m saying is, I walked to 7-Eleven for dinner and I’m grumpy about it.

smobgirl > Just Jeepin'
09/15/2019 at 00:39

I had a rental recently with lane assistance (or whatever it’s called) that was having a similar meltdown somewhere with ancient and occasionally missing striping.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > smobgirl
09/15/2019 at 00:39

Ouch. But allow me to say: 7-Eleven ta quitos are amazing, I don't care how long they've been rolling on that nasty metal.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
09/15/2019 at 02:16

Our CX-3 was fully loaded and our Sportwagen isn’t. I liked auto highbeams but it isn’t a deal breaker.

The only thing I really miss is rain sensitive wipers. Game changer and hard to come back from

Jewish Stig > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
09/15/2019 at 06:25

I miss having my own car...

Damn you European public transport that actually works!