New Addition to the Fleet*

"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion) 08/06/2019 at 11:24 • Filed to: the fleet

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*If you count immediate family who doesn’t live with me.

My father-in-law bought a new-to-him “Suburban” as he wore out his second white ‘04 Denali at around 300,000 miles. He’d been driving the same thing, two different examples, for as long as I’ve known him (since 2005). “Moby” he called it, because yeah, it’s huge and white. So finally, he got a newer (b lack) one because it was the right price and options, and just over 100,000 miles. Except it’s a Cadillac. I was hoping he’d get one that I could have ( buy) when he moves into a smaller vehicle in another 2-3 years, according to him. But I’m not sure I could see myself driving a 6,000lb Cadillac around my small town. It’s just... too much. Have you seen the RCR on the Escalade? It’s not complimentary, nor is it wrong. TL/DR - it just screams Ballin’ on a Budget.

He is going to scrap the 22" chrome wheels and put on the set of nice BBS 17's he had on the old one, and the next one after that. He’s got another old set of stock Denali wheels for snow tires. I could probably tone down the in-your-face chrome on the grille, but still, it’s hard to hide that Cadillac facade. I’d feel like I’m in a Ludacris video but I’m a skinny red-haired dad in rural New Hampshire.

At the same time, while these were pretty bling-bling when they came out, I feel like they do kind of blend in with the rest of the giant-SUV options these days, and really, they look almost identical to their plebian counterparts... because they are almost identical. We’ll see what condition it’s in when he’s done with it. Maybe the price will be right. Maybe I’ll just get a Suburban anyway, because it’s not like they’re rare. 

MonkeePuzzle > functionoverfashion 08/06/2019 at 11:39

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22s down to 17s should look killer :D

For Sweden > MonkeePuzzle 08/06/2019 at 11:41

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Also steelies

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > functionoverfashion 08/06/2019 at 11:51

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I’ve been shopping Tahoe/Suburban/Yukon/YukonXL the last couple weeks and I’m trying to avoid the Escalade. From what I’ve heard there is more risk of issues with it (especially suspension and air ride systems) and you always get the big motor (that most don’t need) to even FURTHER hurt the gas mileage.

MonkeePuzzle > For Sweden 08/06/2019 at 11:54

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steelies on a black one have the added bonus of making you look like you might just be secret service. it can never hurt to leave folks wondering.

*touches ear as I get out of black SUV* “him?” *looks in general direction of stranger* “yes... it will be done”

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > functionoverfashion 08/06/2019 at 12:04

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I had a friend that a Suburban with a 454 as his DD. Not surprisingly, gas costs were eating him alive, even with a nearly 6-figure income. He ended up parking it and bought a 1st gen RAV4 with a stick for commuting duty, saving the ‘burb for when his huge, extended family was in town.

He did buy a small Mazda SUV first, then decided he didn’t like the payments. He kept taking it back to the dealer for a non-existent problem so they’d have to buy it back under the lemon law. Nothing wrong with it, he just didn’t want to lose any money and abused the law to get what he wanted, the  bastard. Whoever bought that car after him probably got a hell of a deal on a perfectly reliable little trucklet.

AfromanGTO > functionoverfashion 08/06/2019 at 12:08

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I know within a few months to a year we will be getting a white ESV Escalade. I am kind of hoping they announce a V package for the Escalade.

functionoverfashion > MonkeePuzzle 08/06/2019 at 12:41

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I used to have a black one and had a CB radio in it, plus it had a factory cell antenna in the rear window and an regular stand-up FM antenna in the front. I was over at a friend’s house one time and another friend arrived, asking “uhh, did you see that black suburban outside?! What are they up to?” 

functionoverfashion > MonkeePuzzle 08/06/2019 at 12:50

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Maybe they’re 18's? He’s had them since 20's weren’t standard. This is the best pic I can find of them, unfortunately.

functionoverfashion > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/06/2019 at 13:02

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The air ride is definitely a risk. There are built-in DVD screens which are now useless to us. I’d get another GMT400 YukonXL like I had from ‘06-09, with barn doors, leather seats, but otherwise more or less a 1/2 ton chevy platform. 

functionoverfashion > AfromanGTO 08/06/2019 at 13:03

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The new ones look amazing. I just couldn’t daily one around here - nor could I afford a new one, for that matter. 

functionoverfashion > MonkeePuzzle 08/06/2019 at 13:08

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These were also 17's - on my old YukonXL

USUSGTO > functionoverfashion 08/06/2019 at 13:52

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I had a YUKO N XL for 6 days in Atlanta. Thanks to Hertz. Got a great rate too $550 - all said and done (incl 2 car seats) .

Car had 5 suitcases, 4 adu lts, 3 kids, 1 twin stroller and 2 car seats, besi d es my laptop bag.

I loved it. 

We also own a Navigator L.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > functionoverfashion 08/06/2019 at 14:08

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top level kinja going on, i’m not allowed to respond to your other comment on that red yukon post. Yeah the wheels definitely weren’t stock...neither was the big hole in the frame lol. Plenty more out there, the search continues.

I’ll rock the DVD player if I can find one for the kids, one of them isn’t quite at unsupervised tablet phase yet. My son will play nintendo switch for hours so no worries there. Some of the newer gen ones have a red/white/yellow AV in port so you can play pretty much anything back there.

functionoverfashion > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/06/2019 at 14:31

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Oh, hole in frame not expected, that thing looked clean! I wouldn’t care one way or the other on the DVD option I guess. Too easy now to come up with alternatives. But could be nice to rent a few movies from the library for a trip, now that you mention it. We do have a few at home, but it’s quickly becoming not-a-thing.

And yes, the good thing is, there are lots of them out there. 

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > functionoverfashion 08/06/2019 at 14:46

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If I get one new enough to have the AV plugs I can hook up a fire TV box with a flash drive of movies.

Yeah, I knew it had a hole but if it was structural around it i was going to have it welded. wouldn’t have been a big job. but there’s nothing left to weld to under there. Was crumbling by hand, didn’t even need a hammer or screwdriver. C heck this shit out:

functionoverfashion > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/06/2019 at 14:55

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Good call on the FireTV thing. And  YIKES RUN!!! You made the right call on that. Wow

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > functionoverfashion 08/06/2019 at 15:05

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mind you a fire tv stick won’t work, you need one with a USB port and a jump drive with movies. Also need an HDMI to RCA converter cord, but those are cheap.

That hole was the worst part but the rocker under the rear passenger door was split vertically. The running board had zero structure to it on that side.

functionoverfashion > USUSGTO 08/07/2019 at 08:29

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When I had my YukonXL my mother called it “the limo” and that was about right. Several times we had 6 adults and all their stuff for the weekend in that thing, and pretty comfortably too. I’ll have another at some point. Ironically, I sold it literally days before getting our first dog, and before having kids, too. We lived with a 3-series wagon being our main family car until about a year ago. 

functionoverfashion > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/07/2019 at 08:30

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Yeah, I guess the thing is there are lots of good options to make something work, including ripping out the whole system (or ignoring it) and using tablets. Even just using a tablet mounted to a headrest with a movie on, that’s pretty good compared to what one of the DVD systems would have cost to put in. 

USUSGTO > functionoverfashion 08/07/2019 at 08:38

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Yup can relate to it.

Wife drives the Li ncoln N avigator L.

Typically has 3 kids in car seats, 2 adults and twin stroller

4- months a year it accommodates

- 4 adults + 3 kids + stroller and bunch of suitcases.

Recently someone in a new H onda accord   rear ended the Navigator while wife was on way to work.

Damage to the accord: bumper cracked, hood folded, and looked like the radiator leaking

Damage to Navigator - Tow hitch cover destro yed. 

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > functionoverfashion 08/07/2019 at 10:18

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Yeah I could easily do that if one didn’t come with a system.