I'm having breakfast with a Congressman, what should I drive?

"ImmoralMinority" (araimondo)
07/31/2019 at 09:43 • Filed to: None

I won’t say who, because I really am bored of the dogmatic thinking and abuse that is embraced by certain folks even here. I have never done this before. I am a problem solver by trade, and I never saw any use for politicians and politics. But now I need to explore this world.

But the United Farm Workers and the California Labor Federation have unleashed their political dogs on me, and in the ever-corrupt State of California this is something I have to take somewhat seriously. I am hearing rumors that this is hearing up again because of my work in Washington. The UFW is none to happy that I brought Silvia and Francisco up there.

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So I wrote a big check (just under $3000) to a prominent Republican Congressman, and got invited to breakfast at a local country club where I never go. Those of you who have met me understand I am sure that I am not a country club kind of guy. I could have put that money into cars. But I need allies, and I am wading in waters that I don’t understand. I am admittedly curious about what an expensive fundraising breakfast involves.

So the most Oppo question of all is, Sunchaser, GTI, or motorcycle?

DISCUSSION (30)

JustAnotherG6 > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 09:47

Vespa! Let them know just who they are dealing with!

Nibby > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 09:49

show up in a 1993 beater civic

Wacko > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 09:52

the Thunderbird

what’s more american than a car that uses as much fuel as a small country.

facw > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 09:54

Vespa.

Unless you are meeting with Nunes or Hunter, in which case, go whichever is most likely to accidentally hit him (Hunter is clearly a GTI kind of guy though).

OPPOsaurus WRX > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 09:55

maybe you can borrow something from one of your farmer friends

Kinja'd!!!

the bigger the better!!

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 09:57

Vespa. Power move 100%

Bonuspoints if you wear shades and whip them off when you roll up and say “deal with it”

someassemblyrequired > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:02

You’re gonna wish you had the 3K back, I’d take whatever makes you happiest.

If you want to max your contribution , I’d spend some effort trying to get to know the aides and staffers around the congressman . Most republican congressmen these days are pretty much empty vessels - they’re definitely not the best and brightest . You need to cultivate relationships with the senior staff that have the mental horsepower to understand your position and translate it into results. So meet the congressman, but if there are staffers there I’d engage with them - especially if it’s a large group and you don’t get much face time with the congressman . The staff are the ones that will really drive your agenda and take your phone calls .

My X-type is too a real Jaguar > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:03

Motorcycle it will be what they least expect

66P1800inpieces > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:05

How does one valet a motorcycle?

MrSnrub > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:06

It’s too bad it takes writing a check to meet with an elected representative, but that’s the world we live in, and you do what you have to.

I hope it’s not Devin Nunes

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:10

I like the Vespa suggestion, but the Sunchaser is enough of a signature item and calling card it might make you memorable without being thought of as a clown. As much fun as clowning is.

LongbowMkII > someassemblyrequired
07/31/2019 at 10:12

The universal constant of the three congress people I’ve spoken to (Barr, Yarmouth, Paul) is that conversations with them were like Skyrim conversations. There’s only 4 options going through their head and none of them are a clear answer.

WilliamsSW > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:14

I vote motorcycle but the Vespa is an excellent choice too.

3rd choice if rain is T H U N D E R B I R D

Maxima Speed > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:18

The Sun-chaser absolutely. Also apologies if that last discussion we had went belly up. I think there was a lot of misunderstanding that conveyed something that I didn’t intend. Also, not that I’m trying to excuse it, but I wanted to give some external context. At the time I was under the most intense emotional strain I’ve ever been in my life , so I wasn’t in the right headspace.

Maxima Speed > Nibby
07/31/2019 at 10:19

I’m gonna pull what’s called a pro gamer move.

fintail > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:19

Please say it is dbag Duncan Hunter (although I think he is from a ways south of you). I suspect it might be equal dbag Nunes.

Vespa or T-Bird, no other choices.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:25

Thunderbird?

As a few others have pointed out, you probably want to get to know his staff. Especially his chief of staff, your local field office director and the legislative assistant that works on things relevant to your interests.

If this is the Congressman I suspect, he probably won’t like any satirical cow references .

HammerheadFistpunch > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:26

sunchaser

a well kept old model car sends the message that you aren’t ostentatious but you are fastidious.

solid conservative values.

Sovande > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:28

Drive a stake through his/her heart!

ttyymmnn > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:29

Would you have been able to see him if you hadn’t spent the $3k?

Hamtractor > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 10:57

I think you need to Turo an H1 Hummer. Let these clowns know you’re not to be trifled with.

Arrivederci > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 11:17

Hire a Cadillac XTS limo.

CaptDale - is secretly British > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 11:19

Sunchaser!!!

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > HammerheadFistpunch
07/31/2019 at 11:48

But it is Japanese not ’merican!

HammerheadFistpunch > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
07/31/2019 at 11:51

So it will fit right in with all the other imports in the parking lot with red and blue elephant stickers.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > HammerheadFistpunch
07/31/2019 at 11:53

Fine. Ducati is the answer. Make sure they know they’re dealing with someone in the fast lane.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 12:08

Vespa!

Mercedes Streeter > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 13:54

Vespa! It’s just so you and it transcends all classes of people. :)

Side note: Not sure why, but a breakfast with a Congressperson of any party sounds fun to me!

His Stigness > ImmoralMinority
07/31/2019 at 18:47

We got too busy talking about other stuff I forgot to make jokes about you not going to country clubs. We passed one on the way back to your house but then forgot. You're clearly not doing enough to blend in as a traditional lawyer.

DipodomysDeserti > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
07/31/2019 at 19:43

Reinforces that you’re also full of shit as far as your ‘Murican values are concerned. (This is directed at Republicans, not IM)