Scooter therapy, dealing with some serious shit.

"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
07/22/2019 at 20:22 • Filed to: Be excellent to each other

I’ve been dealing with some pretty heavy stuff lately. Those of you in Chicagoland may have heard about the two teenage boys who were shot to death by their mother last week, who then set their house on fire and shot herself. The younger of those two boys was a recent student of mine. He was a damn good kid. Always willing to help others, and funny as hell too. The world was a better place with him in it

The memorial service was yesterday. It was tough to confront going, and it was tough to sit through, but I sure am glad I went. It was a remarkably positive event. A true celebration of the boys lives. Several of their friends, many of whom I knew, stood up and spoke about how the boys had enriched their lives.

Their father was nothing short of an inspiration. For one thing, he was functioning. I mean, how in the hell do you survive that? How do you not just crumple in a ball and stay there forever? But there he was, clearly heartbroken, but functioning. He told great stories. He made jokes (it was clear that his son that I knew has gotten his sharp wit from him). He even managed to say nice things about the boys’ mother. It was incredible.

As for the backstory of what led to this tragedy? I don’t know it. I don’t think it’s any of my business, so I will not be trying to learn it. Reading between the lines of what the father said, it seems that mental illness was a huge factor.

At the end of the service, all I wanted to do was go home and hug my kids, so that’s what I did. Last night I took a very long scooter ride, to clear my mind.

Sometimes the world is a cruel and nonsensical place. We were lucky to have those boys in the world for the time that we did. Hopefully their life can remind us to be excellent to each other, and their death can remind us to be more vigilant of the mental health of our loved ones.

I plan to take another long ride tonight.

Thanks for letting me get that off of my chest.

DISCUSSION (17)

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > shop-teacher
07/22/2019 at 20:28

Sorry to hear that. Remember to connect with friends and family.

shop-teacher > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
07/22/2019 at 20:28

I will, thank you.

RallyWrench > shop-teacher
07/22/2019 at 20:53

I cannot even imagine... Glad you could get out to clear your head, that’s beyond heavy stuff. What a tragedy, nothing else I can say but that I’m g oing home to hug my kids now... Hang in there, man.

DipodomysDeserti > shop-teacher
07/22/2019 at 21:06

Fuck. My condolences. I hope everyone can find peace and some semblance of closure.

vondon302 > shop-teacher
07/22/2019 at 21:28

Ugh not sure what to say but hang in there.

shop-teacher > RallyWrench
07/22/2019 at 22:02

Thanks man, I will. Hold them close my friend.

shop-teacher > DipodomysDeserti
07/22/2019 at 22:03

Thank you. If their father can deal with it in such a beautiful way, I certainly can too.

shop-teacher > vondon302
07/22/2019 at 22:06

Thank you. It is an event that defies logic and words. I wanted to say something last week, but I had no idea how to even frame it until I went to that service.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > shop-teacher
07/22/2019 at 22:17

So rry to hear friend, that would be tough for any teacher. I’ve had a few that passed away due to illness, but never in those circumstances....

dumpsterfire! > shop-teacher
07/22/2019 at 23:01

Wow. Humanity can act in very inhumane ways. Glad the scooter was able to offer some relief from a miserable situation.

just-a-scratch > shop-teacher
07/22/2019 at 23:28

Sa d to hear that news. It's good to hear you have some ways to deal with and process it.

pip bip - choose Corrour > shop-teacher
07/23/2019 at 04:46

mentally disturbed woman here decapitated her mother a couple of days ago

the mental health system is letting everyone down, IMO

vondon302 > shop-teacher
07/23/2019 at 06:37

Too true. You did good.

That poor Dad.

Mercedes Streeter > shop-teacher
07/23/2019 at 17:28

*Hugs* This one hits home for me. My brother and I have been through seeing our friends and classmates either killed (by exes, parents, friends) or lost to suicide through the years. It never gets any easier.

I really do hope those kids do make an impact to remind people to be excellent to each other and enjoy life.

ttyymmnn > shop-teacher
07/23/2019 at 18:03

As a musician, I attend more funerals than most people, but still not a whole lot. I don’t enjoy playing them. A few years ago, I got called to play for the funeral of a young boy, maybe 4 or 5, I’m not sure. I figured his death was some sort of accident, because his father, the bravest man I will ever see, stood up to give the eulogy and thanked the emergency services and the hospital. He had a lot of wonderful things to say about his son, and he talked a lot about the family patriarch, “Big Jack,” who had passed away within the year. Big Jack, like his name implied, always had to have the biggest and best of everything. The boy’s father closed by saying, “I know my son is in heaven now, sitting on the sofa next Big Jack, and watching Daniel Tiger on the biggest TV that Jack could find.”

I managed to keep it together and play somehow, but I absolutely sobbed on the way home. And I didn’t even know these people. But having children of your own, as you know well, changes everything about your life, and makes you understand what is really important. And also how fragile life can be. I’m sorry those bright young men were taken at such a young age. The world needs more bright spots in it. But I’m glad also that you had a chance to get to know them. Your life is brighter for it.

Thanks for sharing.

shop-teacher > Mercedes Streeter
07/23/2019 at 22:14

Thanks Merc. Judging from how many of their friends stood up to talk about them, I think they made their mark on the world. I know a lot of those kids, and some of them are very shy, but they stood up in front of a crowd of hundreds to tell us all how those boys made their lives better. They will not soon be forgotten.

shop-teacher > ttyymmnn
07/23/2019 at 22:17

It felt good to share it. Those boys made a lot of people’s lives better, and I think their memory will continue to do so.

Man, just the idea of losing my 4-y ear old, makes me want to crumple into a ball. I don’t know how those dads did it. You're right, being a father changes the way you see everything.