How Jalop is my garage right now?

"cletus44 aka Clayton Seams" (cletus44) 07/16/2019 at 17:25 • Filed to: None

10

27

I’m car sitting a 1929 Ford Model A for a few months. It’s a totally restored running driving car. I’m also fixing a friend’s 1978 Citroen GS. He needs some work done with the fuel lines. Both are very odd to drive! Combined HP between both of them is around 75. 

xc90v8/I4 :( > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 17:26

1

On a scale from 1 - 0ppo I give it a 23!

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 17:29

2

no visible oil puddles so only 9.7/10

facw > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 17:31

5

I would suggest you evaluate them based on the oppo rally point system:

Vehicle Performance:

+5 for <5 seconds 0-60

+5 for >12.5 seconds 0-60

+10 for <4 seconds 0-60

+10 for >17.5 seconds 0-60

+15 if it can’t do 60

Vehicle Heritage:

+5 for Swedish

+5 for Aussie

+10 for Italian

+20 for Indian

+50 for Indian Motorcycle

+15 for French

+15 for British (half points for modern Mini, because Deutschland. Deal with it, Squirrel Boy)

+50 for homebuilt/kit car

+40 for east of the Iron Curtain (look it up, kids)

+5 for 1980s

+10 for 1970s

+20 for 1960s

+30 for 1950s

+50 for pre-1950

Engine and Transmission:

+5 for odd number of cylinders

+3 for V8, and we will witness you

+5 for more than 8 cylinders

+20 for more than 12 cylinders

+2 for carburetor

+2 for each turbo

+2 for supercharger

+10 for twincharged (turbo and supercharger)

+5 for air-cooled (double if not VW or Porsche)

+5 for an engine too big for Rally America ( Rule 10.2.A.3 )

+5 for flat engine society

+10 for rotary

+100 for radial

+75 for turbine

+15 for electric (you’re very brave)

+50 for using a fuel not available at filling stations (no Tesla superchargers either)

+20-50 for any ill advised mod from Roadkill (leaf blowers, boost caboose, pickup with jet boat engine in the bed, towing a Prius with a Gremlin, etc)

+200 if you bring an actual car from Roadkill

+5 for rear-mid mounted

+10 for rear mounted

+15 each for multiple engines (electric motors don’t count)

+5 for manual (save the manuals!)

+10 for manual on the tree

+3 for column shift auto

+5 for sequential (because racecar)

-5 for flappy paddle CVT (because Stef says you need to be punished)

Body/chassis:

+2 for 2 doors

+5 for odd number of doors (hatch doesn’t count)

+5 for no doors (as in removed, Jeep-style. Extra 5 points if it’s not a Jeep)

+20 for no doors (as in have to go in through the window/roof, Dukes of Hazzard-style)

+10 for suicide doors

+5 for shooting brake

+3 for wagon (save the wagons!)

+15 for non-factory convertible

+5 if it can’t fit in a standard parking space

+5 if it would have a bad time at the 11foot8 bridge

+2 for every seat over 6

+5 for two seats

+10 for single seat

+15 for two wheels

+30 for three wheels

+50 for one wheel

+10 for roll bar (non-factory)

+50 for full roll cage

+0-50 for other (at discretion of judge)

Cé hé sin > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 17:31

0

Oooh, a C Matic! Yes, they’re odd, even by Citr oen standards.

M.T. Blake > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 17:33

1

I want both of those but I know I’d hate them in the end. I’ll live vicariously though your Jalop-ing ways.

I’d give you a solid B for Jalopness 

BvdV - The Dutch Engineer > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 17:34

1

That’s one of the oddest combinations your garage must have seen! And given the cars that have been in there that’s quite an achievement :p

How many weird looks does the GS get? Must be completely alien to most Torontonians

BeaterGT > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 17:35

1

I want those Citroen taillights  on everything.

vicali > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 17:37

0

Yes

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > BvdV - The Dutch Engineer 07/16/2019 at 17:39

1

GS gets hardly any attention compared to the Model A. People love the old Ford puttering around. 

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 07/16/2019 at 17:39

1

Oh they’re there. 

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > BeaterGT 07/16/2019 at 17:39

0

And the spoiler too!

vondon302 > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 17:40

1

And of course a unicycle.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > Cé hé sin 07/16/2019 at 17:40

0

yeah the C-matic trans is completely weird. 

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > vondon302 07/16/2019 at 17:40

1

Gotta keep it fresh. 

Cé hé sin > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 18:00

0

It’s a hangover from the abortive Wank el engined CX and was chosen to make the best use of the rotary’s poor low end torque (the NSU Ro80 had the same unit) . Citroen gave up on the W ankel but kept the C M atic for a few years.

CB > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 18:41

0

Love the Citroen's mudflaps.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 19:11

2

OMG A GS....YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND AND IF I COME THERE CAN I STEA...I MEAN DRIVE IT? :P

In seriousness, very cool Clayton! Were you given permission to drive the Model A whenever you’d like? :)

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 07/16/2019 at 19:27

0

Actually I was :P He was silly enough to leave me the keys. Yes come down any time! I am cozy with the Citroen peeps so we could happily accomodate you 

SiennaMan > facw 07/16/2019 at 20:03

1

  I think I've found the scale for evaluating my next automotive purchase.  (And my Sienna actually scored 2 points!)

MM54 > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 20:22

0

This is an excellent pairing

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 20:49

0

Must have graphics

Tapas > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/16/2019 at 22:38

0

Whoa w tf!

Fucking bad ass unicycle, my dude.

duurtlang > facw 07/17/2019 at 04:18

0

5 7 for the GS, 69 for the A? Done by memory.

pip bip - choose Corrour > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/17/2019 at 06:37

0

gib the Citroën!

SpeedSix > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/17/2019 at 10:06

0

Is a Citroën now above the Opel GT for your next car?

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > SpeedSix 07/17/2019 at 10:49

0

I love Citroens but I can’t afford anything above a 2CV, sadly. But I do really like the GS!

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams 07/17/2019 at 15:04

1

Very cool! I found out who owns the only Citroen near me that I know of (an SM). I work with him at one of my jobs from time to time - an older British fellow! I imagine he would even know some of the Autoclub people that you would know!