The big Benz that couldn't

"Spanfeller is a twat" (theaspiringengineer)
07/16/2019 at 07:32 • Filed to: HER MIND WAS TIFFANY TWISTED

One truth to life is that in a gnarly enough B-road even the best cars find themselves struggling for grip, over steering, and under steering, to the apparent surprise of regular motorist that seldom find themselves outside a motorway or a regular city street.

While this massive W212, and the relentless V6 Diesel motor inside it, don’t deny the truths of life, the ECU and programmers in Stuttgart do their best to disagree. Which is why I can’t seem to find the traction control button, nor will this car let me upset the handling. At the slightest suggestion of tire slippage it goes into limp mode; cutting power and strategically pressing brakes to keep you from misbehaving.

But, it is a 2010 model and things were a bit slower back then. The traction control system seems overwhelmed and slow to act, at one point I felt that it made the car feel unsafer in some situations. But, by being slow and incompetent, it also let me learn a few things about the chassis.

It is a lot more eager to oversteer than most cars I’ve driven down this road. Normally I find cars under steering. But not the Benz. It will also proudly light up the rear tires; courtesy of rear-wheel-drive, and this 620NM engine.

Now, the engine is fabulous; it is very powerful, it has great fuel economy, and it doesn’t make a huge racket... that’s pretty much all you wanted from a Diesel engine in 2010, before NOX was a big thing. While the transmission seems to have a mind of it’s own, at least it’s smooth, and does help put the power down.

The steering is light, but loads up appropriately as you chuck the car into corners. Brake feel is great, with a strong pedal that lets you modulate braking in an effective manner. But it doesn’t matter, because the monster motor is a great brake; you could almost drive it with one pedal and the steering-wheel mounted paddles. What I dislike a lot is the handling, because it rides like shit.

You see, my uncle specked this car for my grandfather, the only thing the old man chose was the motor and the color. My uncle went crazy with suede seat inserts, and the Harman Kardon Audio. But the biggest mistake the young man made was checking the box for the 18in AMG, staggered wheels. These tires and rims feel absolutely inadequate.

This strange spec seems to keep the car confused, the big rims make tire roar unbearable, it also makes the car vibrate uncontrollably, and it just handles like a badly specked car, which it is.

Maybe it has sports suspension, because it does handle corners quite flat, but for me that takes away from the experience rather than add to it.

The fit and finish of the interior is also lacking; sure, it’s 9 years old, but it barely gets driven. Still, I could hear pretty much all of the pieces of the interior rattle at different moments, as if different frequencies of tire roar caused different parts to fail.

What I can’t find a problem with is the stereo, which might be the only thing my uncle did right for this car. It’s killer, and it revives some memories from when the car was new, and I was but a young teen that couldn’t drive. It reminds me of a summer when I fell down the stairs with a glass bottle, and cut my hand.

As I held my blood drenched hand with a towel, my grandfather was whistling to an classical song. Maybe it was Vivaldi. He was hammering down this same B road to the hospital. His son-in-law: my father, holding tight in the passenger seat, as he showed-off his ability to drive without touching the brakes.

Yes, it’s a shitty spec, but just like my grandfather didn’t worry about bloodstains on the seats, maybe I should stop worrying about comfort and let go of the idea that the E class should be a slow, comfortable car, while the BMW 5 series should be the sporty, fast one. It handles great, even with the stupid traction control, and it honestly. If he wanted a comfortable car, he could’ve gotten a new set of rims that made more sense.

But, it seems, that he just wanted to hammer down the B roads listening to Vivaldi.

DISCUSSION (15)

pip bip - choose Corrour > Spanfeller is a twat
07/16/2019 at 07:42

iirc these had non deferrable ETC

i don’t mind a bit of Vivaldi every now and then

Spanfeller is a twat > pip bip - choose Corrour
07/16/2019 at 07:43

I think so too

fintail > Spanfeller is a twat
07/16/2019 at 09:31

Sometimes the E and 5er exchange those slow/comfy and fast roles too, as they often want to be each other.

This would be a non-Bluetec E350 CDi? Or E350 CDi? Never sold on this side of the pond, but we did get a Bluetec starting in MY 2011. IIRC, those engines have some Achilles heel in transmission cooler lines.

US-spec W212 with the “sport” package can also have a rough or loud ride, as the suspension tuning and tires don’t like each other - especially as cars here had standard runflats.

Spanfeller is a twat > fintail
07/16/2019 at 09:34

It is a bluetec, but it also has 260-ish HP, which is competitive with the Audis and BMWs of the time.

412GTI > Spanfeller is a twat
07/16/2019 at 09:35

I really like that color, it’s so much better than the typical grayscale you see on these. Interior spec is dark though.

My aunt has a 2010 as well with the same or similar type wheels and they truly do not help this car. She’s gone through damn near a dozen hitting potholes and won’t change out to a different style or size. Still loves the car after all these years and doesn’t know what to replace it with.

Spanfeller is a twat > 412GTI
07/16/2019 at 09:41

I was surprised to see the rears were 25 5 sections... massive.

fintail > Spanfeller is a twat
07/16/2019 at 09:49

I think that would be a “BlueEfficiency”, the largest V6 Bluetec only put out around 210 hp (I had one for a couple years, I actually prefer the 4cyl diesel, which is lighter and more efficient yet has almost the same power).

Spanfeller is a twat > fintail
07/16/2019 at 09:50

Ah yeah.... You’re right. I confused the badge.

But the BlueEfficiency does make little sense next to the 4cyl.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > fintail
07/16/2019 at 09:50

Trans cooler lines? Never heard that one. Oil cooler seals all the time though.

fintail > AMGtech - now with more recalls!
07/16/2019 at 09:51

Oh maybe that’s it, yeah. Something about cooling that isn’t cool, and was enough of an issue to make one stay away.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > fintail
07/16/2019 at 09:56

If the trans cooler lines went, they would be cheap and easy enough. The oil cooler is in the valley and requires a lot of labor to get to. Turbo and intake manifolds have to come out. Not cheap. Around this time they started developing timing chain stretch issues. Mostly 2010-12, but I've seen a few out of that range too. Non-bluetec 642's are more reliable as far as 642's go. But they're not great in that department.

fintail > AMGtech - now with more recalls!
07/16/2019 at 10:16

That sounds like what it was. Enough to keep me away - I once considered a W221 Bluetec, but potential issues scared me off.

I wonder what will become of Bluetecs now that MB diesel cars are likely gone from this market forever. The lease on my 212 was up, I decided to move on, and let it go. It sat on the lot for nearly 3 months, and the asking price eventually wasn’t bad at all. Little demand.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > fintail
07/16/2019 at 11:09

I see a bunch of 651's running around. They don't seem to last long when priced right. Especially GLK's.

fintail > AMGtech - now with more recalls!
07/16/2019 at 11:20

I suspect that’s the sweet spot - the little CUV sized thing everyone wants with an efficient engine powerful enough to move it. I’d rather the sedan, but I just got a feeling it was time to sample something else.

Every blu e moon I see a ML250, I have to think it might be a bit heavy for the engine.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > fintail
07/16/2019 at 15:44

166's with the 651 are fine. Plenty of torque, they're not slow. Not fast either.