If you eat with your coworkers

"Bryan doesn't drive a 1M" (bryantakespictures) 07/12/2019 at 15:56 • Filed to: None

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Don’t comment on their lunches, especially if it’s negative or judgemental. We’re adults, ffs. Two of my coworkers today were commenting on every single person’s lunch. So damn annoying.

I’m also open to the possibility that this is just a peeve of mine and not that annoying to normal people.

For Sweden > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:05

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If you have time to chow, you have time to plow.  Those weeds won’t kill themselves.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:06

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Out of academic curiosity, can you provide an example of a comment?

My database of lunch shade is perplexingly lacking. 

random001 > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:09

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I read that as “If you eat your coworkers”, and so was expecting something completely different....

smobgirl > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:15

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No, it’s absolutely the worst. I’m ok with “that looks yummy!” And that’s about it. I worked with a woman once who basically screamed across a restaurant that she wished she could eat cake like I was, and it was utterly mortifying.

I frequently had to eat dinner (or finish dinner) in front of my band kids when I was teaching. I would sometimes get questions from the kids (usually the girls) about what I was eating. They weren’t judgmental at all, I think it was a way of finding out how adults besides their parents navigated the food world. We had some interesting conversations when I would have, say, a slice of cheesecake (yes, it’s ok to occasionally indulge if you’ve had a bad day but don’t always lean on food for comfort), or coffee at 7 pm (I’m lucky that caffeine won’t keep me up all night). That was a bit uncomfortable because I kn ow they were always watching me but that’s sort of how teaching works.

nermal > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:15

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Judging fashion choices is still acceptable.

Especially when somebody has clearly outgrown their pants. 

XJDano > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:16

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This happened to me today, with the coworker also being my brother, trying to get me to buy the Lunch chicken Fajitas and ad mushrooms instead of the entree chicken and mushroom fajitas. Then when I told the server hold the sour cream he says no, keep it I’ll eat it.

But then he paid for the meal, so he was trying to get me to order something I didn’t want, and ate my food.

I did buy food at a bbq place last week, but he didn’t announce he was paying initially. I would have gone for the lunch fajitas had he mentioned it. But still.

This was at Chili’s. I left most of the onions and peppers so I guess he was peeved.

Don’t buy my lunch then. 

CalzoneGolem > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:17

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I would 100% give my co-workers a hard time about their lunches just like I give them a hard time in every interaction but I prefer to not interact and instead run away for my lunch break.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2019 at 16:22

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I received comments because I dared get a cookie with lunch because it’s Friday and I really don’t want to be here. Others had lunches that were too gross (frozen meals), or just “international.” (fish)

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > random001 07/12/2019 at 16:22

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You’re allowed to comment if someone is eating a human for lunch.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > nermal 07/12/2019 at 16:23

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I hate that too, but that’s just me being a male engineer.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > CalzoneGolem 07/12/2019 at 16:27

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I used to do that and should go back to it. My (east coast...) cubicle neighbor always says something like “why are you sneaking away for lunch?”. He’s also a lunch-commenter. As an east coaster, he’s an everything-commenter, though.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:27

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If they are coworkers I consider friends I like to be judgmental as hell. Especially you quinoa , cabbage eating carrot munching person.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 07/12/2019 at 16:28

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It’s the quinoa eaters who are the biggest offenders.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > XJDano 07/12/2019 at 16:29

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Ha, family and coworkers? Good luck!

Discerning > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:35

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Q uinoa is delicious. Even better - quinoa, salmon, and asparagus. Yum!

I eat alone (intentionally)

AestheticsInMotion > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:35

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I used to eat boiled eggs and chicken breast in the work truck while my partner drove. I deserved every comment I got. 

Svend > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:38

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I used to get comments from colleagues, ‘dear god, look how many calories are in that!’, ‘look at the at content of that!’, ‘look how unhealthy this is!’, etc...

I always replied, ‘hey, I’m eating it, not you. You needn’t worry as I wasn’t even going to offer you any!’. 

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:39

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Uhh shit man..don’t comment on other peoples food period...

unless it’s a compliment

Its rude unnecessary and off-putting

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:40

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As a life rule, unless it’s meant to be constructive criticism, you shouldn’t comment on anything if it’s negative or judgemental. This of course is different if you are purposely giving your friends/family lighthearted shit in the name of comedy.

His Stigness > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:40

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“Why are you sneaking off?”

I need to go write a book about called, “It’s None of Your Fucking Business.” 

Textured Soy Protein > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:40

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I once went to lunch with some coworkers where several of them ordered stuff like burgers with no bun, hold this thing, substitute that thing, dressing on the side, no sauce, blah blah blah blah blah. I ordered something off the menu, like a normal person, and after our server left, I told the table, “the kitchen is going to hate this order, good job!” 

UserNotFound > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:45

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The worst is variations of “is that all you’re eating for lunch ?” and “you’re eating all that for lunch?”. How about you shut up and let me eat.

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:47

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If you are microwaving seafood, I’m commenting. I have a Vietnamese co-worker that just doesn’t get it.  Octopus friggen soup in the microwave.  bleh. 

phenotyp > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:50

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I HATE eating with co-workers. Doesn’t help that most of them over the years eat like goddamn hyenas.

The only bright spot was when one of them (whose company I actually enjoyed most of the time) said that my superpower was always beating everyone with the rightest choice when we went out as a group.

(I may be a bit of a misanthrope... or a misophonia-sufferer who CANNOT STAND open-mouthed chewing and talking through food)

Mostly, I think it’s just a general rule of civility not to comment on other people’s food choices.

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:50

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I get a cookie almost every day.  My co-workers always mention is, but too bad for you I’m eating it.

fhrblig > random001 07/12/2019 at 16:54

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All my co-workers would be tough and stringy. I'm the only one with any marbling.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 16:54

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Fish is international? I mean I guess they’re mostly in international waters but I guess the critics are not Catholic then.

Someone is going to rag on a cookie with lunch? It’s a fucking cookie . What are they eating, Horkin’ Fiber chunks and Artesian Spring water from Icelandic turlets?

I mean, I did once get asked by my old director who is LDS why I’d put junk like a McRib into my body but I thought he kind of had a point, there. I mean, I ate it anyway, but he’s right.

But I like lutefisk, too, so if I heard any of that garbage, I’d come in with a big steaming plate, drizzle butter all over it, and happily eat it while staring them in the eye.

I’m pretty good at spotting non-culinary flaws in others, too, and I’m just dying for the chance to throw some shade back at people who really have to go shitting on fish and cookies. 

fhrblig > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 17:02

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To be fair, if someone brings fish for lunch and cooks it in the office microwave they should be beaten with hammers.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 17:04

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Which part? Out growing your pants or having it pointed out?

benn454 > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 17:12

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I work with my brother as well and we usually go to lunch together. His response EVERY FUCKING TIME I ask him what he wants to eat?

“Food.”

NO. SHIT.

random001 > fhrblig 07/12/2019 at 17:42

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Is that a good thing?

RPM esq. > Discerning 07/12/2019 at 17:54

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I would eat that lunch.

RPM esq. > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 17:55

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It’s not just you, that’s absurd.

DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back > nermal 07/12/2019 at 20:55

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I feel attacked. 

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > Discerning 07/12/2019 at 21:05

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I do like that combo.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > Snuze: Needs another Swede 07/12/2019 at 21:07

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Both, but pretty much anything fashion related.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > Textured Soy Protein 07/12/2019 at 21:09

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My managers all do that, ruining most of our free lunches out. I'd rather pay than witness their interactions with the waiters.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > phenotyp 07/12/2019 at 21:10

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Exactly!

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > Shamoononon drives like a farmer 07/12/2019 at 21:11

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Yeah, that's fair.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Textured Soy Protein 07/12/2019 at 21:27

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One of my coworkrs can’t do anything standard. they changed corporate pay policy from every other thursday to a 1st and 16th pay and this guy just had flip his shit. Any time we’ve gone out, I think “goddamn it Richard” he pretty much invents his own dish.

wafflesnfalafel > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/12/2019 at 22:01

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I save my tins of sardines for days when people I don’t like sit next to me, (It’s my Swedish heritage!  Stop judging me!)

fhrblig > random001 07/12/2019 at 22:22

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I guess that depends on who's eating who?

SmugAardvark > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/13/2019 at 00:08

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I don’t dine with coworkers unless I need to. As soon as everyone sits down, an invisible switch gets flipped and everyone instantly becomes catty as hell.

No thanks.

CalzoneGolem > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 07/17/2019 at 11:53

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You don’t have time for that noise.