I'm concerned about speaking English today

"VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely" (vajazzlemcdildertits) 05/09/2019 at 19:24 • Filed to: rant, english, englihs, misunderstandings, is it me

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I’ve had three completely different misunderstandings with 3 completely different types of people with three completely different topics.

Each time, the misunderstanding involved a different facet of conversation - topic, tone, and intent.

Each time, it left me ridiculously confused as to exactly what the hell the other person was on about.

Each time it was up to me to bridge the gap.

Each time it could have sparked an argument miles higher if I hadn’t been the one to figure out how to defuse the ignition.

What in the fucking hell gives ? Does everyone not speak English today? Is it me? 

66P1800inpieces > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/09/2019 at 19:33

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¿ Que?

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/09/2019 at 19:33

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i was trying to make a joke that your comment, when taken out of context, sounds extremely sexual and weird but i guess i caught you at a bad time but like jesus dude calm down it’s the internet where emotion has a hard time being conveyed you can’t see our expressions or hear our tone that we implied but i assure you no one meant it in a bad way

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute 05/09/2019 at 19:36

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I’m not pissed... but I’m bewildered at the responses. Truly puzzled and confused.

::looks around before whispering ::

It makes everyone around me seem completely bonkers tbh

RPM esq. > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/09/2019 at 19:38

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If the only common thread in each case is that you’re involved, you’re probably the one who woke up with your languagometer torqued out of spec, not the entire rest of the world . When this sort of thing happens to me (and it does sometimes) I usually have a stiff drink and call it a night early, and the next day goes more smoothly.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > RPM esq. 05/09/2019 at 19:39

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Yeah dude I’m wondering if it’s me but I don’t have the mental transparency to know how. I feel the same today as any other day. 

Just Jeepin' > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/09/2019 at 19:50

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I think I’m a pretty good communicator. I tend to drone on a bit, both here and elsewhere, but I know when I’m doing it.

I get terrible results from sending emails and other requests at work.

I’ve come to accept this basic fact: other people are incompetent at understanding me.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > 66P1800inpieces 05/09/2019 at 19:50

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Man, at this point I don't even know...

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > 66P1800inpieces 05/09/2019 at 20:25

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Oh haha just got the joke

Spanfeller is a twat > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/09/2019 at 20:50

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You seem bewildered 

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Spanfeller is a twat 05/09/2019 at 21:19

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I feel bewildered! 

DipodomysDeserti > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/09/2019 at 21:19

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How much alcohol have you consumed today. This may affect how others around you understand English.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > DipodomysDeserti 05/09/2019 at 21:21

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After a rather ridiculous weekend in Vegas some time ago I haven’t touched a drop since.

DipodomysDeserti > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/09/2019 at 21:29

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Damn. Tequila?

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > DipodomysDeserti 05/09/2019 at 21:33

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Funny enough, Jack and Cokes. Which is not my normal goto, my normal goto is peaty whisky.

ttyymmnn > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/09/2019 at 21:38

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Somebody: “I’m sorry, there must have been some misunderstanding.”

Me: “How can there be a misunderstanding? I only speak English.”

Svend > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/09/2019 at 21:43

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Mate, if it helps. I live in and I am from Northern England, we’ll get Scottish, Northern Irish and Southern English who won’t always fully understand what we’re saying. I don’t speak with an accent or a regional dialect add to the mix, Americans, Canadians, Australians and New Zealanders who all have slight variances in their English on top of central Europeans who have a great understanding of English and eastern Europeans who have little understanding of English and it often makes for a confusing day.

Just take a step back, have a coffee or something, catch your breathe and go back to what you were doing a little more refreshed.

Good luck mate and take care. 

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Svend 05/09/2019 at 21:46

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Mate, at this point, if I ever get my stock cashed out at my current job, I’d love to live somewhere where the Brit Northerners are. I don’t have a single tracksuit, I promise.

What part thereabouts you from? Manchester? Our London office has a Yorkshireman who’s lived far too long in Ireland and his accent’s gone... a little odd. 

DipodomysDeserti > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/09/2019 at 22:04

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Ah. The good thing about drinking straight whiskey is it keeps you from drinking yourself to death (in one night at least).

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > DipodomysDeserti 05/09/2019 at 22:09

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Speaking of drinks, since we’re both located in the desert, why don’t we meet up at some point for said drinks? Obviously dependent on availability. I must practice my English. 

Svend > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/09/2019 at 22:11

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British northerners are more relaxed and friendlier (don’t shoot the messenger, it’s a known fact, and I’ve experienced it myself).

Were I’m from tracksuits are more a slightly southern thing, namely Manchester and Liverpool. While generally the north of England is classed as Manchester/Liverpool which is 200 miles south of me or Newcastle up on the east coast which is 53 miles east of me. I’m in Cumbria  right on the Scottish/English in Carlisle. It's a place very little happens, has loads of history and great access to the whole of the U.K. and Europe. The when your from here it always seems dull compared to other places, but when you go to those others places you very soon want to be back here. 

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Svend 05/10/2019 at 01:33

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Sounds lovely. I'd love to go on holiday for a week or two up there.

Svend > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/10/2019 at 01:59

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It’s not really a thrill seeking place (unless you like rock climbing).

It’s more historic and relaxed with vast open countryside with mountains and lakes (okay , only one lake, the rest are water s and meres. Technicality I know but hey).

Hardknott Roman Fort, near Ravenglass where St. Patrick’s father came from.

Hardknott and Wrynose Pass

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/10/2019 at 03:22

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I feel your pain. Being a sort of manager to other mechanics I get to deal with people with multiple different first languages, varying levels of literacy, and different amounts of care. I've had a few guys who I instructed to send me every email for a little while so I could proof read them before they sent them out for real. Or I've had to be CC'd so I could diffuse tension between two employees who just couldn't understand each other. Definitely keeps you on your toes!

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Svend 05/10/2019 at 03:23

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Historic and relaxed is exactly what I’m looking for. Im not exactly Action man. Besides , I’m used to gigantic states and if I wanted to visit somewhere else nearby it would only take hours. To be frank nothing you've shown me so far has been a discouragement.

Svend > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 05/10/2019 at 03:30

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Nah. I love it. One of the least populated areas of the U.K. and great if you just want to chill but we’ve also got our fair share of car museums, Ford M-Sport is based here, several water speed records were set here, etc...

Carlisle is the county’s only city and has everything you need and can go from city urban to rural farm land in five minutes.

It’s a slower pace of life here.

And your totally welcome anytime. 

Nauraushaun > Svend 05/10/2019 at 07:38

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As an Australian, interfacing with the English and the Scottish and the canadanadians was a lot of fun.

In a holiday context

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Svend 05/10/2019 at 09:13

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Good lord that’s beautiful...

Svend > Nauraushaun 05/10/2019 at 10:17

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It's often good fun and good banter but sometimes you get that confused puppy look or a person's face which means you need to stop and ask what's confusing them before you can proceed. 

Svend > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 05/10/2019 at 10:26

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Yep, it’s often so easy to forget just how beautiful it is as you get used to it being there but then you see someone looking at something and you can’t help but look and appreciate it once more.

It really shouldn’t be easy to get used to as it’s always changing, the greens, browns and blues are always changing hues and the sky that changes every five minutes.

Walking up the mountains, with the cloud base below you, looking across the tops of the cloud, is heaven. Just the odd mountain peak piercing through the cloud to remind you of the earth below it. 

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Svend 05/10/2019 at 11:21

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I hear you. I grew up on the north edge of the Ozarks in Missouri and never really appreciated the area’s beauty until I left and came back.

Svend > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 05/10/2019 at 13:42

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I appreciated it growing up but then it became the norm. But as I've got older I've found a new appreciation in history, where I live and the British Commonwealth of Nations and where it all fits in. Like how Australia became a penal colony, only after American independence and we stopped sending them there. Australia embraces that part of it's history, America, not so much. Lol. 

I find it funny hearing tourists say they climbed up Scafell Pike, etc..., where as I just walked up it when I was 12-13. Lol.

I used to see people dressed from  all denim (five Dutch guys in a Mk5 Golf with black Duct Tape around the sunroof) up to almost mountaineering outfits to do some of the trails and then here was me in outdoor wear, sitting eating a large pork pie, sausage rolls and two large cans of Guinness, while they are having extra energy foods and high electrolyte drinks.