My wife gets shit done

Kinja'd!!! "Cash Rewards" (cashrewards)
04/15/2019 at 18:52 • Filed to: None

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Rented this Malibu for a week in California. It’s a comfy cruiser. I enjoyed it. We went to a wedding, and brought the kids, 3 and 5 years old. They played with their older cousins a lot, but my wife or I was never more than a few feet away. So I was able to witness some unrelated, unknown woman come up and correct my wife’s teenage cousins on how to play with my kids. First time funny. Third time I told the wife (after warning her previously), and she went over to make herself a new friend.

I thought she was going to bitch this lady out, and I had zero desire to stop her. She gets shit done. I don’t question methods. I was surprised to find out she went and killed her with kindness, let the woman realize how inappropriate she was all on her own. Amazing.

Here's to an awesome wife.


DISCUSSION (15)


Kinja'd!!! Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > Cash Rewards
04/15/2019 at 19:30

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My wife can do that too. I wish I had half her skills.

Let’s hope they never use their powers on us. Wait  a minute... they probably do, don't they?


Kinja'd!!! Maxima Speed > Cash Rewards
04/15/2019 at 19:31

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 They seem to be hard to come by. Looking for one now. Apparently while craigslist is a good place  to find cars it doesn’t work for wife material 


Kinja'd!!! Cash Rewards > Maxima Speed
04/15/2019 at 19:40

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Its weird in that she doesn't suffer fools, but has kept me around for almost 20 years in various relationship stages


Kinja'd!!! Cash Rewards > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
04/15/2019 at 19:40

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All the time. The trouble is that even when I know she is, she's usually right anyway


Kinja'd!!! Snuze: Needs another Swede > Cash Rewards
04/15/2019 at 19:47

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Presented without context.  


Kinja'd!!! Snuze: Needs another Swede > Maxima Speed
04/15/2019 at 19:49

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This is not the right venue for me to regail you with craigslist lady stories.  Lets just say you're right.  


Kinja'd!!! Maxima Speed > Snuze: Needs another Swede
04/15/2019 at 19:59

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Kinja'd!!! Snuze: Needs another Swede > Maxima Speed
04/15/2019 at 20:11

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Okay, I will regail you with one quasi-appropriate story. After getting me alone, I had a young harlot tell me the story of how her ex-ish boyfriend ended up in prison, then declare “I’m so lonely!”, remove her top garments, and proceed to tackle me to the floor. I made a hasty departure from her trap, never to return.  


Kinja'd!!! Cash Rewards > Snuze: Needs another Swede
04/15/2019 at 20:11

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This is the off topic section...


Kinja'd!!! Snuze: Needs another Swede > Cash Rewards
04/15/2019 at 20:15

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See my reply to Maxima.  Oh to be young and in the Navy again....


Kinja'd!!! Maxima Speed > Snuze: Needs another Swede
04/15/2019 at 20:30

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Oh, oh my, id  nope outta there so fast.


Kinja'd!!! Snuze: Needs another Swede > Maxima Speed
04/15/2019 at 20:54

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I did. “Um, sorry, I gotta go, I have to report for duty super early. Maybe some other time.”

I returned to my barracks with a message waiting on my laptop on Yahoo Messenger "So, uh, I guess Im not going to see you again?!?"  You got that right! *BLOCK*


Kinja'd!!! Snuze: Needs another Swede > Cash Rewards
04/15/2019 at 20:56

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Also, Ive got a few margaritas in me now. I told our friend Maxima a “bad” story, so here’s a “good” one...

All I’ve got to say is “consensual choking.”


Kinja'd!!! Cash Rewards > Snuze: Needs another Swede
04/15/2019 at 21:08

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Hey , I dont judge! We need a weekly ”Oppo after dark” thread. Maybe a missed connections, too. “Me, a loud Miata with fading clear coat. You, a Volvo turbo brick. We passed at a four way stop, and we’re the only two using our turn signals.”


Kinja'd!!! Snuze: Needs another Swede > Cash Rewards
04/15/2019 at 22:01

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I shared a story onc e on the FP regarding a WRX and a black bear (and I mean the actual mammal, not a gay inuendo... I respect but I dont swing that way). Several friends who are also Jalopnik readers who didn’t know my screenname immediately texted me to confirm it it was my story.