And I'm Single, Again

Kinja'd!!! "Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
04/07/2019 at 09:51 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!0 Kinja'd!!! 22

I guess it’s for the best. She needs someone who isn’t me..

I’m still in shock and am not really sure how or what to feel. The breakup went as well as a breakup could...just...yeah. The sadder thing was I expected this to happen, eventually. It was just a question of when and how.

Long story short, when we started this relationship she quickly realized that I’m not the dominant type person she needs to lead a relationship. We loved each other to death so we plowed forward anyway. I tried t o be that person and as of the past idk months I just couldn’t. My indecisiveness crept up and became a regular thing. I couldn’t make solid decisions on anything and effectively shouldered the burden on her. I can’t blame her... and I’m sorry.

Nowadays when I start a relationship, I ask the other person to give me closure if it all goes wrong so I can try to be a better person. I got what I asked for. *Sigh* I guess I am still a shitshow in some areas.

ETA: I guess I don’t necessarily need to be dominant (just not be with someone who needs that), but I definitely need to work on indecisive.

My job search and move to Chicago are indefinitely on hold. I’m going to renew my lease here. At least I’m no longer worrying about a tight timetable to get the cabrio driving again.

I guess not all is bad. She redefined what a relationship should be to me. And whether I like it or not, I will now have much more time and money for wrenching.

The hardest thing moving forward will be not hating or hurting myself for ruining what I felt was the relationship of a lifetime. A part of me feels like this is karma for the hearts I’ve hurt over the years. By that logic, I still have to have my heart broken two more times.

Have a Fiat 500 for your time..

Kinja'd!!! Kinja'd!!! Kinja'd!!! Kinja'd!!!

DISCUSSION (22)


Kinja'd!!! Nibby > Mercedes Streeter
04/07/2019 at 10:02

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relationships are learning experiences... you and your partner aren’t necessarily obligated to each other.

it’s gonna be a bit rough but you’ll be better off in the end and if anything you learn more about yourself and what you look for in others. more time for car and bike stuff though... and most importantly windows 95


Kinja'd!!! shop-teacher > Mercedes Streeter
04/07/2019 at 10:12

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Time marches on. You’re still very young and learning about yourself and about life. If you can manage to  leave each experience as a better person, then you're moving in the right direction. You just gotta keep digging kiddo.


Kinja'd!!! Future Heap Owner > Mercedes Streeter
04/07/2019 at 10:16

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Aww dang. I’m sorry to hear that. I know how happy you were with her and how much you were looking forward to moving into the city.

I hope you can find solace / distraction in wrenching. And we’re always here, too.


Kinja'd!!! sdwarf36 > Mercedes Streeter
04/07/2019 at 10:34

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Not all lessons learned are enjoyable. Sorry for the pain.


Kinja'd!!! E92M3 > Mercedes Streeter
04/07/2019 at 11:04

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Every relationship is a learning experience. Here’s a local Smart to cheer you up.

Kinja'd!!!


Kinja'd!!! DipodomysDeserti > E92M3
04/07/2019 at 11:26

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With that plate, I’m guessing there’s a ‘busa engine in that thing.


Kinja'd!!! Cash Rewards > Mercedes Streeter
04/07/2019 at 11:44

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Don't be with someone who needs you to be anyone other than who you are. You need to be with someone who wants you to be you, and loves you for it.


Kinja'd!!! fintail > Mercedes Streeter
04/07/2019 at 11:51

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Look at it as a learning experience, and enjoy the new freedom.    I’d rather be single than in a relationship that doesn’t work.   Still enjoying the feeling of a weight removed from by back at the end of the last one.


Kinja'd!!! Tohru > Mercedes Streeter
04/07/2019 at 12:05

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I feel for you. I just had to break things off with someone I’d been seeing for a year because I’m an absolute mess and couldn’t be what she needed either. All you can do is move on from it and try to use it as a growth experience.


Kinja'd!!! TheRealBicycleBuck > Mercedes Streeter
04/07/2019 at 12:10

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The first rule to having a successful relationship is making sure your own life is in order. Second rule is making sure that the partner you pick has their own life in order before you start a relationship . Neither of you should need each other, but the sum of your lives should be greater than either individually. That’s what makes you want to be around each other over the long term.  

From what you said, it sounds like neither of you are in a place where you can give your best to another. Both of you need some growth and maturity before you’re ready for the long haul.


Kinja'd!!! E92M3 > DipodomysDeserti
04/07/2019 at 13:07

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I found his instagram. It’s supposed ly boosted, but I don’t know if it has a turbo hayabusa engine or a turbo on the original engine. Didn't sound like a bike engine, but we were on the highway and he never got on it.


Kinja'd!!! Mercedes Streeter > E92M3
04/07/2019 at 13:43

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Would be my guess that it's a tuned original engine. Afaik there aren't any third gens with a 'Busa engine in the states yet.


Kinja'd!!! pip bip - choose Corrour > Mercedes Streeter
04/08/2019 at 06:04

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chin up.

you’ll be ok


Kinja'd!!! RPM esq. > Mercedes Streeter
04/08/2019 at 13:50

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If I may say so, it sounds like you have a healthy and productive attitude about this—looking at the big picture and lessons learned, even though it’s obviously painful in the moment—and like you and your ex handled the breakup maturely/reasonably amicably. Kudos to you for that, it’s never easy. Hopefully in time you can look back on good memories from this time, apply lessons learned about what kind relationship you want, and move on with positivity. Wishing you health and happiness.


Kinja'd!!! RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Mercedes Streeter
04/08/2019 at 14:39

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Sorry to hear Miss Mercedes...time flows on, however...your wounds will slowly heal and you’ll find somebody new, as you did in this last relationship. There’s somebody out there for all of us, if that’s any consolation. :]

Also, please take that 500 and send it to me be ca use that is gorgeous!


Kinja'd!!! Future next gen S2000 owner > Mercedes Streeter
04/08/2019 at 16:30

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I once saw someone sent their ex an exit survey. It was hilarious. I’m not sure how this qualifies as good advice, let alone advice....


Kinja'd!!! Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Mercedes Streeter
04/08/2019 at 18:20

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Oh dear... first the bankruptcy shit, and now this.

I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through such a difficult time.


Kinja'd!!! Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Mercedes Streeter
04/10/2019 at 11:29

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Newsflash: we are all  s**tshows in some areas.


Kinja'd!!! Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Mercedes Streeter
04/10/2019 at 11:32

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I’ve been married 29.5 years. And as we approach 30 years together, and the kids are mostly adult, and as we ourselves age, we have to begin again in some respects. And again. And again. The beginning again really never ceases.

You did not ask for any, so I will offer you some advice: shop  for friends .


Kinja'd!!! Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > E92M3
04/10/2019 at 11:33

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Is that wing on that Smart actually not  idiotic for some reason that I cannot fathom?


Kinja'd!!! E92M3 > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
04/10/2019 at 17:18

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Aren’t they fwd? If so, it’s not doing much beyond creating drag.


Kinja'd!!! Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > E92M3
04/10/2019 at 17:29

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Yes, they are. So to my question: idiotic = yes.