Dear Prospective Juror

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn) 04/04/2019 at 18:04 • Filed to: None

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You are hereby summoned for jury service etc. etc. etc.

This is just the icing on the cake of an otherwise rather shitty day. I haven’t been summoned for a long time, and when I was, I could always claim being a stay-home dad. But the cutoff is age 12, and my kids are 13 now .

BTW, if you’ve never seen 12 Angry Men , you should. It’s a fantastic movie, and should be required viewing for any civics class in high school, if they still teach that sort of thing.

shop-teacher > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:07

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I’ve yet to be summoned for jury duty.

*Knocks wood*

lone_liberal > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:07

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Henry Fonda will cut a bitch.

PS9 > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:08

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I accidentally got out of jury duty (forever?) by pointing out what an ex parte discussion was. After I did that, the defense talked to the judge and I was quickly escorted out of the court room. They never called me back. 

ttyymmnn > shop-teacher 04/04/2019 at 18:09

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Now you’ve done it.

shop-teacher > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:11

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Nope. I've said it dozens of times over the last decade.

facw > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:14

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I’ve never been on a Jury. I got summoned a couple time in NY, but when I called to find out if I needed to go in, they said I didn’t. I thought I had gotten a summons in Houston, but closer inspection showed it was actually for a previous resident of the apartment (oops).

WRXforScience > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:16

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Just ask the Judge about “Jury Nullification” and you should get sent home pretty quickly.

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:18

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“I have the remarkable ability to determine someone’s guilt or innocence just by looking at them” works every time. 

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:18

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i think jury duty is a terrible idea.... yay lets get a bunch of random joes in to figure this shit out

solid plan

TheRealBicycleBuck > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:20

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Congratulations!

Nothing > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:22

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As much as it sounds crappy, jury service is important.

That said, there are a lot of easy ways to avoid it.

For Sweden > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:23

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You in two weeks:

ttyymmnn > facw 04/04/2019 at 18:25

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My wife’s been called a bunch of times, and actually sat on the jury for  an insurance trial. Some shysters were suing their insurance company for something and lost. She said that their lawyer was terrible. With my luck, I’ll get stuck on some 60-month long mafia murder case. As long as they relocate me to a better house. With a better car.

ttyymmnn > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 04/04/2019 at 18:27

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I thought I would just sit there and shit my pants in front of the judge. That should work.

ttyymmnn > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 04/04/2019 at 18:28

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Well, it’s better than government, where they have 300 or so rich lawyers trying to make health policy for people who can’t afford insurance. Anybody who can walk into a hospital and pay for a heart transplant with a check should not be determining health policy for the proletariat. 

ttyymmnn > TheRealBicycleBuck 04/04/2019 at 18:30

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Still better than “GREETING: ”

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:31

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welp your not wrong

ttyymmnn > Nothing 04/04/2019 at 18:31

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I think I’ve used up my free passes. I agree, jury duty is important. However, I can think of a lot of idiots who have no business deciding somebody’s fate.

Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks > PS9 04/04/2019 at 18:33

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My trick is knowing what pro hac vice is.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:39

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lone_liberal > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:39

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If you have to serve I hope you get a better case than my MIL did. It involved a doctor accused of molesting children and there were pictures and videos that the jury had to see/watch. She couldn’t sleep for weeks afterwards. 

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 18:47

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Sorry man.

My wife got called for grand jury service. Fortunately, it turns out it’s fairly easy to opt out. It’s a huge commitment.

You’ll probably sit all morning and get dismissed. 

ttyymmnn > lone_liberal 04/04/2019 at 18:52

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That wold be terrible.

ttyymmnn > Chariotoflove 04/04/2019 at 19:03

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You’ll probably sit all morning and get dismissed.

That’s what I’m hoping. I can sign in online, and might even be dismissed online. I’m not sure if it’s better to do it early, or wait till the last minute.  

Chuckles > Nothing 04/04/2019 at 19:10

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I wish more people would embrace jury duty and not treat it like an infectious disease to be avoided at all costs. Maybe our courts would work better if juries weren't only made up of people too dumb to get out of jury duty.

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 20:11

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Doing everything as early as possible is always desirable. I’ve never experienced dismissal before showing up. That’d be  a treat.

LastFirstMI is my name > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 04/04/2019 at 20:16

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Trial by jury- where your fate is determined by 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty 

ranwhenparked > ttyymmnn 04/04/2019 at 20:37

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I had it last summer, wasted a whole week of my life. Last day of a 5 day trial, we had the verdict and were all set, then one of the jurors opened his big mouth and revealed enough info about himself and two of the key witnesses that a mistrial had to be declared. I think he just wanted a week off from work, but wanted to make sure that he stopped it before it was official. 

BaconSandwich is tasty. > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 04/04/2019 at 20:42

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“I’m not racist.  I hate everybody equally.” might also work.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > lone_liberal 04/04/2019 at 20:45

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My mother in law transcribes court reports.  There’s some seriously messed up stuff out there.

ST80MND > ttyymmnn 04/05/2019 at 08:41

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Just as an aside, 12 Angry Men is a fantastic movie.

ttyymmnn > ST80MND 04/05/2019 at 09:08

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As I said, it should be required viewing.

ST80MND > ttyymmnn 04/05/2019 at 10:10

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LOL, only now did I look at you’re whole post. 

ST80MND > ST80MND 04/05/2019 at 10:10

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I just saw the header image, and went from there!