Audi A4 manual quick view

"Spanfeller is a twat" (theaspiringengineer)
12/28/2019 at 13:13 • Filed to: None

WHEN I saw my grand-uncle, a 61 year-old entrepreneur with a penchant for the marketing industry, drive into our home in a grey B9 A4... I was in for a surprise.

It had a manual gearbox.

The car was hardly impressive otherwise; it had a cracked license plate holder with EuropaCar written on it, a huge scrape down the side, and all sorts of bulges on the tires. The interior on the other side had an uncomfortable damp cigarette stench accompanied by a huge hole on the A pillar right at eye level; where someone, I presume, decided to put one out.

The seat gave me a decent degree of adjustment, the instrument display was clear, and the gearshift was tight and relatively short. Perhaps the biggest complain was the clutch pedal which felt too light, and too long for my liking.

Anyway, after explaining to him that I wanted to drive to the restaurant because it was an important car; the last model of A4 to be sold with a manual transmission (At least in my regular market, North America), I made myself truly comfortable in the driver’s seat and set off. He climbed into the passenger seat, to witness my terrible gear changes.

Now, it was a pleasant drive he barely noticed my shitty driving, and I barely misbehaved. I just wanted to poke the engine a little to see what it had. But evidently I’m not comfortable driving like a buffoon with any family members in the car. We were making polite conversation, he told me about this RS4 he used to own in Mexico.... It was all OK until we arrived to the river.

When we arrived to the river town he pointed at a house, and he said “I had a girlfriend that lived there when I was sixteen”, moments after that we crossed an intersection that put us parallel to the river. He then continued “I used to fuck her behind those trees you see.”

“Right.” I told him

Not wanting to let silence fill the cabin , he went into more detail.

“Oh we were insane, I remember I had this friend that gave me his car for the sole purpose of having sex with her; in the back of the car... after dates. The parents were clueless. He was proud of that... he was proud to be able to say ‘hey, thanks to me, this guy fucks’ we didn’t have the taste to go find a hotel, and actually have fun. It was kind of uncomfortable, and deep down I don’t think I ever enjoyed it for any other reason than the adrenalin” he said, as he looked over the river

“Oh, that reminds me of one of the early scenes of Catcher in the Rye” I told him.

“Terrific book!” He concluded.

and it left me wondering, as I sloshed the gearshifter around looking for the best gear, maybe this A4 is a bit like car-sex. It’s not easy to enjoy unless you’re truly experienced, you know were to push it, and you’re at least half a foot shorter than me.

Which is sad, because, the elements are there... The engine is a bit boring, sure, but it revs quickly, and it makes good turbo noises. The suspension is compliant and even if it very probably has an open diff, I suspect it’s not bad in the corners. But most importantly, its a compact luxury sedan with a manual gearbox.

But it added up to an uninteresting experience, I don’t know, maybe I was nervous, thinking about other stuff, and not up to the job, sweety.

All’s I know is that, you can’t fix a car like this with a manual transmission, on the contrary, I feel like it was worsened by it. Those two extra gears on the regular A4 make it more refined on the highway, this goddamn car was pulling at nearly 2500RPM in sixth at 100km/h; it’s too many revs for such a speed.

But it’s probably not the gearboxes’ fault. As we enter the era of Automatic-rule I think we need to remember that not all manuals are made equal. This Audi was made with a manual gearbox in order to drop the sale price, and to attract customers who don’t seem to appreciate how inflation works. It’s not a cool, performance oriented, driver centric unit. It feels like bean-counters made the choice to sell this A4, not the marketing experts that want to bring more enthusiasts into their brand.

Or maybe it was both of them, and they just decided to half-ass both of their jobs, and turn in a product that feels completely uninspiring, and boring. A 3er would beat this car dead in the driving enjoyment department.

This A4 is a goddamn phoney; and I don’t wish it any luck because I don’t wish anyone “good luck”

Its a phoney thing to do.

DISCUSSION (13)

M.T. Blake > Spanfeller is a twat
12/28/2019 at 13:34

I hate the modern ‘we slapped an iPad to the dash because high tech’ look we’re getting with luxury right now.

Excellent being it’s a manual trans. Luxury + manual = gold.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > M.T. Blake
12/28/2019 at 13:52

Completely agree... the “least” they could do with these things is at least pretend like it’s integrated into console. Instead? Looks like it’s a fake IPAD mounted with Harbor Freight hardware right to a flat spot on the featureless landscape of dashboard .

Worse? These panels are all going to be shyte in 15 years of automotive temperature c ycles, vibration and chicken-nugget sauce browsing.

Spanfeller is a twat > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish
12/28/2019 at 14:09

On the old A6 you could hide it away and it was much better.

M.T. Blake > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish
12/28/2019 at 14:18

Lol. And in a few years the software won’t be upgraded, and a new Audi pad will be 4x more than taping a real iPad over top of it.

MultiplaOrgasms > Spanfeller is a twat
12/28/2019 at 14:29

2500 in 6th? I thought my car had a close ratio box (3k in 5th at 100kph)

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Spanfeller is a twat
12/28/2019 at 14:33

odd to see cloth on the seats.

Which engine did it have the 1.4?

Lori > Spanfeller is a twat
12/28/2019 at 17:41

I have a 2013 S5 with a stick and it’s absolutely the love of my motoring life. Hands down my favorite car that I’ve ever owned.

fintail > M.T. Blake
12/28/2019 at 22:19

It’s “high tech” for the phone holster and microwave clock flashing “12:00" all day set. Cool and futuristic for those who don’t know and don’t really care any further than what issues them a paycheck.

The best tablet style ICE/gauges integration is MB E and above, where it is integrated.

fintail > Spanfeller is a twat
12/28/2019 at 22:22

Enthusiasts choose something with at least an S, if not an RS. This is indeed a cheapskate special. Those wheels.

Entrepreneur /marketing = trust fund and inherited family business? :)

Spanfeller is a twat > fintail
12/29/2019 at 06:26

Those wheels I love.

I’m not particularly sure of his story, but I’m pretty sure no trust funds were involved.

fintail > Spanfeller is a twat
12/29/2019 at 11:46

To me they look like the wheels used on a base lease special in the US, or for snow tires on a German rental car.

Family business? Mafia perhaps? Or “marketing” = club promoter or something.

Spanfeller is a twat > fintail
12/29/2019 at 11:58

entertaining this discussion any further will not be entertaining or productive.

fintail > Spanfeller is a twat
12/29/2019 at 12:26

Ooh secrets.

Reminds me of when I was a kid and collected stamps. My great uncle sent me a nice box of stamps from his “work” mail - all from various tax-dodger hideouts in the Caribbean. Nobody really knew what he did, but he had some money.