I want to have this guy's car towed so fucking bad

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
12/16/2019 at 21:21 • Filed to: None

This Stelvio belongs to this crazy guy at my gym who loves turning on every fan, even in winter. That sign in front of his car? 30 minute parking space and the number to a towing company. And he parks in the 30 minute space EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. he goes to the gym. Frankly, I'm surprised I haven't called that towing company yet.

DISCUSSION (39)

boredalways > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 21:30

Buy a cheap burner phone and use it to call the company every time he parks there.

boredalways > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 21:31

Also, why is there a Gold's Gym upstairs AND downstairs?

InFierority Complex > boredalways
12/16/2019 at 21:33

So you can do stair training, obviously.

boredalways > InFierority Complex
12/16/2019 at 21:36

I would prefer a mountain climbing machine.

Or ellipticals.

Textured Soy Protein > boredalways
12/16/2019 at 21:36

This may come as a shock but there are stairs inside the gym. Not sure why that merits 2 signs, but...

bob and john > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 21:37

carry a valve core removal tool. :D

Textured Soy Protein > boredalways
12/16/2019 at 21:37

Don’t even need to do that, I can just turn off the outgoing caller ID on my Google Voice number.

Textured Soy Protein > InFierority Complex
12/16/2019 at 21:37

Fun fact: the stair climber machines are right at the top of the stairs.

Textured Soy Protein > boredalways
12/16/2019 at 21:39

There’s a Jacob's Ladder machine and several rows of ellipticals. Come on down!

fintail > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 21:41

Not to mention parking with the front wheels crooked, effin lazy monster.

If he keeps getting away with it, the towing must not be too “strictly” enforced.

facw > boredalways
12/16/2019 at 21:47

When I was a kid, I’m pretty sure at least part of that downstairs level was a Little Caesar’s, so pretty much the opposite of a gym.

Textured Soy Protein > fintail
12/16/2019 at 21:47

Hey at least he got it inside the lines tonight. Which is...n ot always the case.

I’ve asked about enforcement at the front desk. Not mentioning this guy, though. Apparently someone from one of the stores is real keen on calling the towing company during regular business hours but no such luck at night.

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 21:49

Maybe there’s a middle ground of pissing on the driver’s door handle on occasion.

boredalways > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 21:57

But but but they are like 3 retail spaces opposite of each other

boredalways > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 22:01

Appreciate the offer, but I already have a LA Fitness around the corner from me that I never go to

Textured Soy Protein > boredalways
12/16/2019 at 22:01

The upstairs of the gym isn’t directly above the downstairs. But they overlap a bit, and the stairs are in that part.

Kinja'd!!!

Textured Soy Protein > facw
12/16/2019 at 22:02

Little Caesar’s, where I ate many slices at lunch during high school, was a different building entirely that’s no longer there. Ourisman Chevy is there now.

Textured Soy Protein > ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com
12/16/2019 at 22:02

If that's the middle ground he might prefer having his car towed.

facw > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 22:06

Hmm, yeah, I wasn’t entirely sure on that one... though it looks like Ourisman has always been there (at least going back to ‘88, which is before I was in the area), so I don’t know where it would have been over there.

boredalways > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 22:07

That’s what I mean. I mean c’mon man this deserves a:

Kinja'd!!!

I mean seriously, how lazy can this asshole be?!

ETA: oops, I'm malfunctioning now...must be time for bed

PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 22:07

I feel ya man, I hate this type of shit.

Then I try to remind myself, what do you care if he parks there? It’s not a handicap stall, he’s not depriving someone of something all- that- tangible.

Maybe breath and let it go? I know, easier said than done and sorry for being ‘that’ guy.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com
12/16/2019 at 22:11

Hey, the car did nothing wrong here. It's a prisoner of circumstance

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
12/16/2019 at 22:12

You make a good point.

MM54 > bob and john
12/16/2019 at 22:14

D on’t take them out though, just loosen them.

GLiddy > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 22:15

I heard this from YouTuber AvE. Get a Schr ader valve tool and ease out the valve on one of the wheels by a turn or so and then put the cap back on. It’ll drive them crazy when they keep having a low pressure warning.

fintail > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 22:27

Just get an old Dodge 6x6 or similar and pull up beside him right on the line.

Montalvo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
12/16/2019 at 22:29

Ordinarily I would agree with you. But it is an alfa and as such that would be preventative fire insurance.

https://www.consumerreports.org/car-safety/alfa-romeo-sedans-suvs-recalled-for-engine-fires/

functionoverfashion > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 22:34

There was a guy parking in the 15 minute spaces in one of the lots at my work, for most of the day , a lot of days. I didn’t notice a pattern other than it was a LOT. I also kind of figured without confirmation that it was one of the campus police officers, partly because it’s right next to the police station and also, it’s a lifted F-250 on terrible chrome wheels, an extra antenna on the roof, it’s always spotless, and always backed in perfectly.

So one day I saw the chief and mentioned it to him, casually. “Happen to catch the plate?” he asked. “WYTERP” I said. “Huh.” he replies. “I’ll look into it.”

Now, I know it wasn’t his, but still. I haven’t seen it parked there since. I’m sure he knew exactly whose it was when I mentioned it.

Textured Soy Protein > facw
12/16/2019 at 22:55

Ourisman Chevy used to be up at 355 & Gude Dr. This is at Wintergreen Plaza near Wootton Pkwy & 355. There’s Ourisman VW Mazda next to it which has been around since forever and at one point was a GM store of some kind before switching to VW & Mazda. But the current Chevy building is new within the past few years. There used to be a different building between VW Mazda and Wintergreen Plaza that had Little Caesar’s, a little small McDonald’s, and and a glasses store.

superdave847 > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 22:55

I’m stunned to learn that douchebags drive Italian crossovers and lift weights.

Kinja'd!!!

Textured Soy Protein > PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120
12/16/2019 at 23:04

It’s not about the car, it’s about the fans.

If you don’t have a lot of body fat, and are sweating in moisture-wicking clothes, in a room that’s maaaaybe heated to 68, and a fan starts blowing on you, it’s FREEZING.

But this fucking guy loves air blowing on him and walks around the gym to the different equipment he wants to use, turning on fans left and right without ever asking the people who are already in the area where those fans would blow, if THEY want the fan on. He just turns that shit on, does his thing, and leaves without turning it back off.

Last winter he did that shit with an oscillating fan mounted on the wall in the dumbbell area while I was there. I turned the fan back off right in his face and cussed him the fuck out about it, because he does that shit all the time, and he’s never learned his lesson.

The car is just the icing on the asshole cake.

Textured Soy Protein > superdave847
12/16/2019 at 23:07

He’s not even very good at lifting weights. He does however really like to do preacher curls with a fan blowing in his face. Except the fan near the preacher benches is a fucking oscillating fan that makes everyone else in a 15 foot radius of the guy freeze.

(If you want to engage in stereotypes he's about 50-60 years old and has some sort of Eastern European and/or Russian accent.)

CompactLuxuryFan > Textured Soy Protein
12/16/2019 at 23:12

Hot take with hardly any context: this is really about as bad as people who drive 30 in a 25 aka absolutely everyone. Like you said, the 30 min thing is enforced during business hours, during which this guy does not go to the gym . At that point, having a single 30 min space at the end of the row in what I’m assuming is a completely unrestricted and unpaid lot is pretty much pointless. For all we know, being able to park right out front is the only thing keeping this guy going to the gym and stopping his entire life from crumbling. So I say you let it go. Give the man a nod for doing his part to save Alfa and think of Busso noises.

Textured Soy Protein > CompactLuxuryFan
12/16/2019 at 23:31

It’s not about the parking space, it’s about the fans. He just happens to do the parking BS every time he’s there, thus providing a tempting target for revenge.

A longer explanation, as long as it’s not kinja’d...

https://oppositelock.kinja.com/1840472375

pip bip - choose Corrour > Textured Soy Protein
12/17/2019 at 04:02

do it and laugh manically at him when he finds his car towed

Sovande > Textured Soy Protein
12/17/2019 at 07:07

Can you ask him to stop turning the fans on or maybe ask the staff to do so? Having his car towed because he makes air in the gym is too cold for you seems like overkill.

Urambo Tauro > Textured Soy Protein
12/17/2019 at 07:42

Between the fan thing, and the parking thing, it sounds like the guy needs some incentive just to be a considerate human being.

Textured Soy Protein > Sovande
12/17/2019 at 08:07

Oh, I gave him a stern talking-to last winter when he froze me out pretty badly. He’s not as bad anymore but he’s yet to develop the reflex of asking people if they mind before he turns on the fans. According to the employees t here are many people with many mildly irritated complaints about this guy.

Will I actually have his car towed? Most likely no. But it’s like, when you keep seeing someone who draws your ire and they keep doing something else that is both also mildly annoying AND a perfect opportunity to fuck with them in retaliation, it’s tempting. Especially when the testosterone is flowing.

superdave847 > Textured Soy Protein
12/17/2019 at 20:22

I can smell the cheap cologne coming through the kinga!