If we do get shut down, can we ride to the funeral in a Chrysler Pacifica hearse?

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 11/05/2019 at 10:51 • Filed to: None

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This morning I happened to see a Chrysler Pacifica hearse. My immediate reaction was “huh, that’s something I haven’t seen before , but it... makes sense? ”  

This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: > Textured Soy Protein 11/05/2019 at 10:54

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No, but you m ight get a shot at riding in a LongVoyager

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Textured Soy Protein 11/05/2019 at 10:56

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Sorry, but we’ve already planned a Viking funeral. 

AestheticsInMotion > Textured Soy Protein 11/05/2019 at 11:01

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No.

Chariotoflove > Textured Soy Protein 11/05/2019 at 11:02

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Looks better than the XTS hearses I’ve seen.

Textured Soy Protein > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 11/05/2019 at 11:02

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What if we put the Pacifica hearse on the funeral barge and blowed some shit up real good?

WilliamsSW > Textured Soy Protein 11/05/2019 at 11:03

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I want my ashes scattered over either Oshkosh or Yosemite, from a Waco. 

WilliamsSW > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 11/05/2019 at 11:04

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That feels most appropriate tbh

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Textured Soy Protein 11/05/2019 at 11:13

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I’m sorry but if I *ever* get sent to the grave in one of those, somebody’s ass is getting haunted.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Textured Soy Protein 11/05/2019 at 11:21

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Nope, already have a nonrefundable deposit on the Applebees dumpster.

Fyoeu > Textured Soy Protein 11/05/2019 at 11:45

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Absolutely not. We will ride to the funeral in this baby:

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja: 11/05/2019 at 12:06

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I don’t swing that way......

Your boy, BJR > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 11/05/2019 at 12:26

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Ok fine. Then it’ll be one of these.

Your boy, BJR > Textured Soy Protein 11/05/2019 at 12:27

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It gets weirder!

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Your boy, BJR 11/05/2019 at 12:30

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What in the name of all that is Floridian is this abomination 

Xanadu603 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 11/05/2019 at 16:02

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In all seriousness, Oppo has been around so long and survived redesigns and ownership changes, we could move to a new site I guess. The last step was you are on the same platform but not really part of Jalopnik. Now it's you cant be on the same platform... do they want people on their sites? 

Stef Schrader > Textured Soy Protein 11/07/2019 at 09:40

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The fairly flat floors make it good for haulin’, or so I’ve heard.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > WilliamsSW 11/07/2019 at 09:47

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Sorry, your funeral director is lysdexic... you’re scattered in Waco by a guy wearing Oshkosh overalls  named Sam. close enough?

WilliamsSW > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish 11/07/2019 at 12:17

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I’ll settle for scattered in Waco, by Yosemite Sam, from an Oshkosh, ok?

And hell , it’s not like I’ll be able to complain about it...