Friggin' Panhandlers

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
10/31/2019 at 19:12 • Filed to: None

Little children keep coming to my door expecting a handout. At this rate, we’ll never stop Socialism.

DISCUSSION (28)

ranwhenparked > ttyymmnn
10/31/2019 at 19:14

Nothing can stop socialism, the historical dialectic is correct and scientifically irrefutable.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > ttyymmnn
10/31/2019 at 19:15

Long gravel driveway through the woods + tornado warnings = no panhandlers!

WilliamsSW > ttyymmnn
10/31/2019 at 19:15

I answer the door by yelling “ Get a job” and slamming it shut.

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > WilliamsSW
10/31/2019 at 19:17

That’s just the way it is.

WilliamsSW > ranwhenparked
10/31/2019 at 19:17

Pinko

WilliamsSW > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo
10/31/2019 at 19:19

You seem to be too young to get that reference, yet clearly you do, so here.

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > WilliamsSW
10/31/2019 at 19:20

And here I was, ready to fire this gif your way

Kinja'd!!!

WilliamsSW > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo
10/31/2019 at 19:21

HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY HEAD?

ttyymmnn > ranwhenparked
10/31/2019 at 19:23

I regret that I have but one star to give.

boredalways > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
10/31/2019 at 19:26

Since you're controlling the weather to keep panhandlers away, how about a snownado warning?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > boredalways
10/31/2019 at 19:28

Eww no

someassemblyrequired > WilliamsSW
10/31/2019 at 19:31

Or if you’re a child of the 90s :

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > ttyymmnn
10/31/2019 at 19:34

I have big signs that I put on my front door and mailbox that say NO CANDY in big bold letters.

In my defense, we have 4 dogs, one of which is a runner. And has a bite history. So it's just better to not participate.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
10/31/2019 at 19:37

If I had that setup, if do that one of two ways:

1) Dress up like Jason Voorhees and stalk them through the woods

2) Give the kids who manage to go to the door (sans Jason) something worthwhile like a couple of king size candy bars.

WilliamsSW > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
10/31/2019 at 20:02

Soo o, how many kids ignore the warning and knock anyways?

CB > ttyymmnn
10/31/2019 at 20:08

I just woke up from a migraine. All my lights are out and I don't even have any candy. People have left me alone. I'm content.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > WilliamsSW
10/31/2019 at 20:11

Surprisingly none. We’re also surrounded by a couple of neighbors that I don’t think do Halloween either. So since I’ve put the signs up 6 or so years ago I’ve never had anyone knock on the door.

just-a-scratch > ttyymmnn
10/31/2019 at 20:14

I bet those little freeloaders are wearing disguises and making vague threats too.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > ttyymmnn
11/01/2019 at 09:30

Did you give any of them free college?

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
11/01/2019 at 09:36

I’ve never heard of anyone putting out a sign. Usually leaving the porch light off, and most lights off in the house, is enough. Some folks drop a couple bags of candy in a big bowl on their front step with a “please take one” sign.

ttyymmnn > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
11/01/2019 at 09:47

All of it.

That said, I’m trying to figure out how to put as many as three children through college in the next 9 years. I already told them that one of them is joining the Navy. They’ll have to draw straws.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > ttyymmnn
11/01/2019 at 09:52

Seems fair. I’m in the same boat, but have a little more time - little guy is almost 7.

ttyymmnn > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
11/01/2019 at 09:54

Start. Saving. Now.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > ttyymmnn
11/01/2019 at 09:57

Already have. 529s are growing as we speak.

My parents didn’t have any money, so I had to borrow for most of my education. I want my kids to have some “skin in the game”, but hopefully between our saving and their working, they can leave college with no debt.

ttyymmnn > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
11/01/2019 at 10:12

I think we’re angling towards a deal where we pay for two years and they pay for two.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > ttyymmnn
11/01/2019 at 10:17

Nice. Seems like the community college for a year or two route can be a good one for some kids.

We have a great program for that locally:

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Tulsa Achieves is a funding program that provides up to 100 percent of tuition and fees to Tulsa County residents who are graduating high school seniors and enroll at Tulsa Community College the fall after they graduate. The program pays for up to 63 college credit hours or up to three years of college, whichever comes first.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Every high school graduate living in Tulsa County, including public, private or home-schooled students, with a 2.0 GPA or higher grade point average is eligible.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
11/01/2019 at 10:22

I even tried the take one thing before. My dog still freaked the heck out.

I do turn the lights off in the house, but around here the kids start going around at 3pm. There’s still hours of daylight left, so I came up with the signs.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
11/01/2019 at 10:23

Ah, gotcha. That’s crazy early.