"Are you a car guy?" asks the new girl at work, entirely serious

"CB" (jrcb)
10/09/2019 at 00:11 • Filed to: How many photos does he have of his car?

No, I just drive a turbo lime green econobox with racing stripes and racing seats because I’m insane.

Well, I mean, I’m apparently a psychopath according to my other coworkers, so it’s a fair question.

DISCUSSION (36)

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > CB
10/09/2019 at 00:17

“ no, I am a human guy”

CB > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
10/09/2019 at 00:22

List of possible responses:

- I’m a normal guy

- “Fuck, do you know that I’m a transformer?”

Instead, I answered the question that followed the car guy thing.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB
10/09/2019 at 00:22

Throw her off and tell her you identify as a car

M.T. Blake > CB
10/09/2019 at 00:24

Talk to her about cars EVERYDAY now.

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/09/2019 at 00:25

I decided the “yes” and answering her follow up question would be the least problematic way to deal with this.

CB > M.T. Blake
10/09/2019 at 00:26

Considering another guy at work has an M3 with a MAAAD plate on it, we should be able to drive her nuts.

wafflesnfalafel > CB
10/09/2019 at 00:27

:) - I just tell people if I start rambling on to tell me to shut up. “B ut you see the new direct injection turbos have very little lag and....”

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB
10/09/2019 at 00:30

I was compared to an infamous character in a popular cartoon franchise by some co workers today. I'd take psychopath as a compliment

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/09/2019 at 00:32

Which one? Is it Charlie Brown? I’ve been given that and Ron Stoppable .

I was also addressed as “Shame” in last year’s performance evaluation, so hey, shit happens.

Spanfeller is a twat > CB
10/09/2019 at 00:34

Wait, you’re ranting about someone taking an interest in your interests... I can’t relate .

============================================================

Date: So, what do you like?

Me: Well, a bunch of things, but I really like ca-

Date: Ugh you’re so fucking boring

____________________________________
Friend: That’s a nice car, what can you tell me about it?

Me: So, it’s a twin turbo v6 rear wheel dri-

Friend: No man, does it have apple car play?
____________________________________
Teacher: So what can you tell me about internal combustion engines?

Me: Ah, yes...

Teacher: Frank, no one gives a fuck about rotaries; this is a CAD introduction course not your fucking TED talk .
________________________________________
Classmate: So, we need to meet there at six

Me: is there parking?

Classmate: Use public transport you piece of shit.

CB > Spanfeller is a twat
10/09/2019 at 00:36

Not ranting, just remarking that I thought it was obvious.

Also, some of your stories made me laugh.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB
10/09/2019 at 00:39

Ron Stoppable got a lot of ladies for being a “geeky” character, though.

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/09/2019 at 00:40

True, true.

DipodomysDeserti > CB
10/09/2019 at 00:50

“ So are you, like, into motorcycles?”

“Not, really, just figure I’d try to ride this old piece of aluminum into work and hope it didn’t kill me.”

[insert picture of old Honda because goddamn you kinja you piece of shit]

M.T. Blake > CB
10/09/2019 at 01:01

Critique her car. She’ll love it.

Spanfeller is a twat > CB
10/09/2019 at 01:06

Was it the TED talk one?

CB > Spanfeller is a twat
10/09/2019 at 01:08

TED talk and "use public transit you piece of shit".

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > CB
10/09/2019 at 01:28

I always get people at work looking at my helmet and jacket and asking “oh do you ride a motorcycle?”

No, I just like the outfit

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > CB
10/09/2019 at 01:30

My brother in law has recently decided to revoke his own “car guy card” because he’s given up on the idea of modifying cars. Mainly because his old tuned MK4 is a POS compared to his new mk7 TDI Wagon. And also not much faster.

I reminded him that he still watches Bad Obsession Motorsports when a new video comes out. And the he refuses to own an automatic car. And that in 2 weeks we’ll be stand8ng in the woods waiting for rally cars to go by.

Just because you don’t love turning a wrench, and your car isn’t the fastest, doesn’t mean you aren’t a car guy.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Spanfeller is a twat
10/09/2019 at 01:36

I recently tried to discribe to some one why his newly purchased 2001 Chevy Impala would never be a collector car even tho it only has 55,000 miles. Just to be clear he bought it from a 95 year old woman for 1500 bucks , with the intent to flip it.

I told him that it’s a crappy FWD GM, with a lack luster 3.4l v6, and that it looks boring, and has a sea of grey plastic for an interior. But he insisted that “It’s an IMPALA it’s be a collector car!” Essentially claiming that it was just as cool as a ‘64 Impala because it claims the same name.

People just don’t get when you talk about what a car actually IS.

MrDakka > Spanfeller is a twat
10/09/2019 at 01:48

Nobody cares about rotaries, you piece of shit

Or in my case

Nobody cares about nuclear rockets, you piece of shit

MrDakka > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
10/09/2019 at 01:49

Hey man, motorcycle outfits are the foundation for a lot of cosplay

arl > CB
10/09/2019 at 06:25

Maybe she’s “car girl”?

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Spanfeller is a twat
10/09/2019 at 06:47

Where can I listen to your TED talk?

Snuze: Needs another Swede > CB
10/09/2019 at 06:58

Yesterday I drove the Volvo to work and one of my coworkers saw me in the parking lot. She must have told people because half the office came over to get status updates. I felt like some kind of celebrity.

shop-teacher > Spanfeller is a twat
10/09/2019 at 07:13

“Teacher: Frank, no one gives a fuck about rotaries; this is a CAD introduction course not your fucking TED talk.”

I’m going to have to steal (and slightly edit) that line!

Danimalk - Drives a Slow Car Fast > wafflesnfalafel
10/09/2019 at 07:16

Of someone askes me something about cars I’l l say,”Do you want the long answer, or the short answer?”

They never pick the long answer :(

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
10/09/2019 at 07:43

I mean in another 20 years a mint 2004 Impala will likely be collectible ..

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
10/09/2019 at 07:46

*walks up to checkout with 4 gallons of oil and a Motorcraft oil filter*

Cashier: Oh, doing some oil changes?

Long_Voyager: Nope, enjoy drinking it, but it needs to be strained for the best taste, hence the filter.

Guy behind me loses his shit as she gives herself the facepalm for asking the obvious question.

Spanfeller is a twat > Snuze: Needs another Swede
10/09/2019 at 08:09

Huh, I didn’t actually prepare for this

Oh well, I’m just as prepared as any TEDex presenter so maybe I should make a talk

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness
10/09/2019 at 08:43

I doubt it. Like I know lame 80s cars are kind of cool now, but they at least have some charm. Generally speaking 2000s American cars are the most bland things in existence. Also this particular one was still starting to rust despite its low mileage.

Tapas > Spanfeller is a twat
10/09/2019 at 09:16

Now this I can relate to...

Spanfeller is a twat > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness
10/09/2019 at 09:25

I think that investing those 1500 bucks on literally anything else would render a better 20-year return, even if the Impala becomes a collectors car.

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
10/09/2019 at 10:10

The same was said about the now desirable cars of the 60s/70s/80s.

Just look at the prices of low mileage 90s vehicles. I mean I just sold my 1992 Caravan for $3k. I easily could have gotten $ 4-5k for it. Just 5 years ago, I could find rust free ones for $5-600 all day long, now those all have another zero added to that price.

I think with this big “tech” push, people are beginning to long for the more analog cars ( even if they’re boring ones ), which is driving the prices up.

i86hotdogs > CB
10/09/2019 at 12:49

A lot. A LOT. of people do not understand why I intentionally purchased a cargo van.

“So, do you deliver packages? Is it your fleet vehicle? What does your fiance think of it (she loves it BTW)? Why do you race it? You’re gonna lose, a van can’t race. You call yourself a car enthusiast but buy a van?”

If I had a dollar for every “Free candy” joke i’m told, I could buy another van!

Norton15890 > CB
10/10/2019 at 16:25

Ehn no I’m a car gay.