Shocker: Most interviewees don't even think a "thank you" email is appropriate

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78) 10/01/2019 at 16:18 • Filed to: None

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I thought this Lifehacker thread was about “send a physical thank you note vs email? ” Most people appear to be saying “Don’t send anything at all, they should be lucky to talk to you .” The entitlement mentality is pretty thick...maybe this is a product of this low unemployment I keep hearing about.

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But in all my prior roles as a hiring manager, or as a person helping managers in p anel interviews , a followup was absolutely expected as a basic professionalism — even if it got immediately deleted. This transcends trends, even though the medium of communication may shift.

What say you, Oppo? I’m of the belief that ANY thank you is always better than nothing at all. Zero followup is a very strong lack of interest — just like with a date. It’s the veritable “stiffing the waitress and I’ll never come back to this restaurant again.” A very low-involvement thank you will not hurt your chances; the lack of thanks absolutely can. For a manager to whom it doesn’t matter, do you really want to work for that person anyway?

(Note: If you’re interviewing 50 people for a low-level hourly staffer role, I’ll make an exception here. I’m referring to primarily white-collar college grad types of roles.)

Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:29

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I’d call an email thank you as preferable to a mailed simply due to the time involved in the mailing process, particularly if it is long distance. That said, I’m still batting over 50% conversion rate for interview to offer letter. Even with two being a mutual conclusion of “This is not going to work for us.”

benjrblant > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:31

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Yes, I think a thank you email is entirely appropriate.

I also think it’s appropriate for an interviewer/recruiter/hiring manager/etc  to send a yes/no one way or the other and not ghost their candidates even if it’s an obvious “no”

Ash78, voting early and often > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. 10/01/2019 at 16:31

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Oh, in this thread people were saying not to even bother with an email . I haven’t sent a letter in 10 years, and even then it was to a much more “old school” guy where I thought it would resonate more.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:32

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I did 4 interviews and all 4 sent a follow up email. 

WilliamsSW > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:33

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I think a pretty good percentage of hiring managers don’t care much about thank yous. But you never know which you’re dealing with - and it’s ABSOLUTELY a chance to reiterate your qualifications or perhaps add a point that you didn’t get to in the interview.

It’s silly and lazy to not write one - and in this day and age, email is preferable to snail mail ( because timeliness).

ranwhenparked > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:33

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Well, I always do thank you emails, unless it’s impossible to send one (government panel interview, no contact info provided, etc).

I would appreciate if it was reciprocal, however. Tell me I didn’t get the job as soon as you know you're not hiring me (hell, it can be during the interview, if you want, no point wasting more of your time or mine), don’t ghost me for months and eventually send an email that the position was filled or closed.

TrickJos > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:34

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I have always sent a thank you note . I used to do it by mail but decided email was better since it gets there faster. It seems really weird to me that people don’t send a thank you.

The Ghost of Oppo > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:35

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The ‘thank you’ email is the last thing I consider when making a hiring decision .

fintail > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:36

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I always looked at a thank you as keeping your name active, even if it seemed a bit kiss-butt to me.

Kind of a two way street that is seldom followed, as the HR/hiring manager sector should also sent communication to all applicants even if they aren’t hired.  Entitlement can go both ways.

Chuckles > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:38

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I have had 2 jobs since college. Didn't send a thank you note for either one. It's not like they are going to send me a "thanks for coming in" note. I just don't see the need, but I'm also anti thank you notes in general. With the first job I was young and hadn't even considered that I should send a note. With the second job, they called me less than an hour after the interview to offer me the job.

412GTI > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:38

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Thankfully this was taught in my college internship class and I have since done it with every job interview. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t, it takes 5 minutes over email and potentially gives you a slight advantage over other candidates .

I do have friends who don’t use this practice..and guess who doesn’t have a career job or something in their field..

AntiSpeed > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:40

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If they made me re-type my meticulously prepared resume into their stupid text boxes then they sure as shit aren’t getting a Thank You from me.

I mean not really, but fuck is that annoying.

Personally sending a thank you note gives me the feel of brown-nosing , but I realize that it’s my own hang-up and it’s not how most of the rest of the world sees it. Fortunately I’ve been able to mostly avoid the corporate world so far.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:40

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I send a follow up and make it a point to include communication channels (email address, phone #, etc. ) and available times to reach me. I tell students and interns to do this a) to make sure they have an up to date email address and phone number b) to make sure they don’t accidentally email where you currently work! and c) as a professional courtesy.

facw > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:41

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Seems like a good idea to send. I did have trouble in some cases not having good contact info for the actual interviewer, since I was often in a situation where HR or even an outside recruiter was setting things up and I was meeting with engineers who either didn’t have business cards, or didn’t think to hand them out (clearly I should have asked). In some cases I had recruiters say they’d take care of sending thank yous, but who knows if they ever did (kind of lame regardless).

Dakotahound > WilliamsSW 10/01/2019 at 16:42

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“...it’s ABSOLUTELY a chance to reiterate your qualifications or perhaps add a point that you didn’t get to in the interview.”

Yes, that is exactly why sending a thank you email is in your best interest. Managers often interview dozens of candidates in a week. The thank you email  reminds the manager of your qualifications and makes you stand out.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:43

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I’ve been at my job for 11.5 years, so I’m way out of the loop. That being said, I have to say I don’t think I would know that a thank you email is  something that happens. To me that seems like you’re trying to kiss someone’s ass.  But, the job market has changed a lot since then. Hell, my resume was completely wrong according to the current format that is popular. 

Brickman > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:46

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I just tell the boss in a few days of working how thankful I am for him/her to have me.

Boss gives a handshake / headnod, and that’s it. Maybe an extra box of towels ! :D

Just don’t do it in front of other employees as it could be a sign of ass-kissing.

Nick Has an Exocet > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:50

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Yes, always send a thank you for a 2nd round interview. These days, the typical process is: Application review > Phone screen with recruiter > Call with hiring manager > 4-7 in-person interviews > decision . In bold is where you send the thank yous. Though take this with a grain of salt, which despite my experience being on the hiring side, I find my faith somewhat shaken after spending some months on the interviewee side.

Tripper > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 16:52

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It’s not often I go all the way to interview and don’t get/take the job. However, the few times that has happened I received no feedback from the recruiter or internal person even after requesting it!

If I didn’t get the warm and fuzzies from an interview it’s not worth it to me to send anything especially if it’s with a retained recruiter/staffing company . If I did get the warm and fuzzies, I always intend to send something, but don’t want to seem over eager and have previously received an offer before I was ready to send the thank you.

Tripper > benjrblant 10/01/2019 at 16:53

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All of this. That second part never happens, so I usually will not follow up with a recruiter that I don’t already have a relationship with.

Ash78, voting early and often > The Ghost of Oppo 10/01/2019 at 16:56

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But if you had two completely equal candidates, one sent a note and the other didn’t...to me, that’s a no-brainer.

Good manners and politics start at square one. IMO if you’re not doing that during the interview, how can I trust you to be professional and cordial in the real job?

Jobs vary a lot, but that’s a generalization.

ClassicDatsunDebate > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 17:00

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I think that the hiring process (both employer/candidate) is kinda one of the last bastions of formalized interactions. It’s got regimented norms. I think a follow-up thank you email is absolutely required...which is part of ultra-clear communication like a hard YES or NO. If it was a long process and it’s a NO ( and the candidate is ok with it) even some feedback on why the decision was made.  Maybe a teaching/improvement moment.

3point8isgreat > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 17:06

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I never knew this was a thing until maybe a year ago. Never had a problem getting a job offer after an interview. Although I did send a thank you after the interview for my current job. No idea if it made a difference.

Honestly I’m torn on it. It many ways it feels like more ceremonial nonsense. And I’d been taught to keep contact with the hiring people to a minimum, as any extra contact was just annoying to them and came off as desperate. So then writing a thank you minutes after getting off the phone where I also said thank you, just seemed super desperate.

But now that I’ve heard more on both sides my only conclusion is you have a 50% chance of being screwed regardless of whether you do or don’t send one. Since half of people hiring expect it, and the other half are annoyed.

Hiring process etiquette sucks. Especially since companies usually have no etiquette at all and are all fans of just ghosting people. HOW HARD IS AN AUTOMATED YOU DIDN' T GET IT EMAIL?!

ttyymmnn > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 17:07

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You’re old.

And so am I, which means that I agree with you 100%. 

promoted by the color red > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 17:07

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I send “thank you” emails because it’s faster, but I expect this to be a two-way street, even if it’s a one sentence email saying you went with another candidate.

One guy ghosted me twice - in my defense, it was my dream job and I was hoping the first time was a fluke. I was disappointed when my friend, who was in charge of recruiting, told me he ghosted people because he was “scared”.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 17:09

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Meh, you either need my skills or you don’t.

Discerning > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 17:09

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It may depend on the industry.

When I was interviewing for finance roles about 2 years ago, I was connecting via LinkedIn with everyone with whom I spoke and sending emails to the hiring manager and their VP (the ones  I had interviewed) . I thanked them for speaking with me and specifically mentioned items we spoke about. I also welcomed them to contact me if they wanted to speak about xyz further.

A few of them took me up on it and I still connect with those who I ended up not going with.

Chariotoflove > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 17:11

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Good manners are their own reward. No one seems to remember that these days.

Alright then, thinking practically, a tha nk you note tells the prospective employer you are an adult who understands courtesy while reminding him/her that you were there. Think of it as bumping the post to the top.

That said, when I was looking for faculty positions as a postdoc, I had departments who didn’t even acknowledge the letter and CV I took the trouble to send. Bear in mind these were published positions advertising for applicants. So the  lack of courtesy can cut both ways, I’m afraid.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 17:12

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How old are you? Just curious

Chariotoflove > benjrblant 10/01/2019 at 17:12

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Yup, been ghosted myself after applying to advertised facility positions.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 17:13

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eeeeeh... its not my job to show interest after an interview.... thats yours... i showed interest by turning up for the interview

*reads note* oh right... nevermind then

actually sure... if you’re hiring management... i guess it’d be good to know if they can brown nose properly.... i always figured thats how most of them got their jobs :p

Discerning > benjrblant 10/01/2019 at 17:15

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In my field, they do tend to send out a note if they decide to look elsewhere.

But that may just be the nature of finance and the employees who work finance.

I know that every employer (within specific departments other than finance) that I’ve worked with was not even close to careful about this though.

They each have left friends and classmates hanging, which is then embarrassing for me.

With one employer, they ghosted a marketing classmate who I had highly recommended. I reached out to the HR VP and she explained that they thought s he was overqualified given her MBA and past experience. I then explained that she (classmate) had never received any notification that she had been passed up. It led to them changing their process a little bit at least.

LimitedTimeOnly @ opposite-lock.com > The Ghost of Oppo 10/01/2019 at 17:17

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I agree . . . but it is still a thing that I have considered. I have had two equally promising entry-level engineers to decide between. My boss and I were about to make a decision based on having gotten an email thank you from one, and that day received a mailed thank you note from the other. ( We then got creative and figured out a way to hire both of them.)

Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle > The Ghost of Oppo 10/01/2019 at 17:27

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A good interviewee should use a thank you email to touch on something poignant from the interview. Saying thank you is one thing; one last well executed piece of self promotion is another.

RPM esq. > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 17:28

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When I interview people it cannot possibly make any difference if they send a follow-up because by the time they’ve left the building I’ve already provided my comments and my vote, although if they got one off that quick I might think it was weird . However, I do think it’s polite and would probably send an email if I ever interviewed for a job again.

McMike > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 17:45

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Or if the first choice doesn’t accept, and the manager needs to go to their second choice.   “Hey, that other guy followed up... what was his name again?”

WilliamsSW > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 17:57

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So perhaps maybe it’s no coincidence that the Venn diagram of people who don’t send thank you letters has a big overlap with the subset of people who have a lot of free time to comment on Lifehacker articles.

Chariotoflove > Chariotoflove 10/01/2019 at 18:16

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EDIT: faculty , not facility.

Future next gen S2000 owner > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 18:43

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Maybe I need better job searching skills but when I got me current job, I don’t think I even knew the email of the hiring manager. It was all done on the phone. The hiring decisions I’ve been involved with sense, the decision was made long before an email would be appropriate.

E92M3 > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 19:12

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A buddy of mine started a new job 5 weeks ago, the Thank You letter he sent the day after his interview was just delivered this past Friday. I would suggest doing it via email, you know how unreliable USPS is.

Ssfancyfresh > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 19:28

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Regardless of whether it’s “required” or appropriate, it just seems to make good sense if you want to keep an open line of communication. It’s super easy, takes almost no effort, and gives you another chance to get your name and contact info in front of the folks you just  met

smobgirl > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 19:32

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When I was helping hire my old team out here I definitely appreciated a follow up thank you email, but since every candidate sent one I can’t comment on whether it would’ve swayed my hiring decisions.

As far as being ghosted when you aren’t hired, at least at our company, HR is the one who is supposedly in charge of that, and I have no idea whether they tell folks when they aren’t chosen or not. (But we always let people know at the end of an interview that HR would be the division who would follow up with them, so hopefully no one was ever i nsulted by me personally if they were left in the dark)

nermal > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 20:41

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I always make sure that expectations for next steps are set before ending the interview. It’s a way of testing somebody. If expectations are that I will be the next to initiate contact, then I will. If expectations are that the other person will, then I wait.

If somebody will agree to contact me next, but they don’t, then fuck ‘em. I either don’t want to work for them or don’t want them to work for me. Eminem Rules - One Shot, One Opportunity .

My bird IS the word > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 20:43

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I havent gotten many interviews, but why would I thank the interviewer? I am responding to their request, they arent responding to mine. I would have thanked them leaving the interview anyway.

They are taking my time, not me taking theirs.

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 21:20

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As a supervisor myself - my focus is more on an employee that a) doesn’t waste my time and b) doesn’t feel the need to suck up.

So, two completely equal candidates - one sends a squishy, “thanks so much, this was really meaningful and I am so lucky to have the opportunity to talk to you” vs. the candidate that says nothing? I’m gonna assume the candidate that says nothing has better things to do that blow smoke up my butt and therefore I’m more likely to offer them a job.

ETA: and the people who’re saying that the thank-you email is a chance to reiterate your qualifications as a candidate? FUUUUUCCCCCKKK NO. You do that shit to me and your resume is in the trash bin. I know from the interview if you suck or not, you had your chance, don’t waste your time. 

BigBlock440 > Ash78, voting early and often 10/01/2019 at 22:47

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Having been on both ends, I’ve only got one thank you email and I hired the other guy. The thank you made no difference to me. I’ve also never sent one, and maybe that’s why I’ve only got a 33% conversion rate from interview to offer. I’m in manufacturing, the interview’s the place to show I’ve got the skills they want, or not. A thank you note doesn’t prove I can do it, nor does a thank you note prove the guy I’m hiring is capable. I’m socially awkward though and it comes off as brown-nosing and a bit too eager.  

Ash78, voting early and often > Chariotoflove 10/02/2019 at 09:09

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The “ghosting by the employer” has been going on forever and seems to be a common theme.

I see it as a one-to-many communication channel. I won’t sink to the level the employer and be a dick. They have 5 or 10 initial candidates; I have ONE opportunity. I have to be the bigger person, both ethically and professionally.

Even in a job-seekers market where we have the upper hand.

Ash78, voting early and often > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 10/02/2019 at 09:14

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Just turned 41, but have been doing thank-you notes since my first minimum wage job at 15. That was super overkill, but it’s a good habit.

Sociologists have a whole field of study on gratefulness and how it changes our attitudes, outlooks, and confidence. I don’t care if 99% of those employers waited 3 months to tell me I didn’t get the job (if at all) — my standards aren’t suppose to be based on theirs.

Besides, about half of those hiring managers I’ve kept in touch with, which has been invaluable for later networking . A thank you note may not affect your hiring odds much, if at all, but it speaks volumes about your character and professionalism.

Ash78, voting early and often > McMike 10/02/2019 at 09:20

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Especially in a semi-technical field, where showing human skills can really underscore the well-roundedness of your ability to work with others.

I’m fully remote, so emails and IMs are virtually 100% of my impression management. Kindness, clarity, and appreciation are most of the job. We have quants who have a lot less of that, but unless you’re an Albert Einstein, you had better bring some diverse game!

$0.02

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Ash78, voting early and often 10/02/2019 at 09:39

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I dunno man. I checked my email just to see and I've never sent a thank you.  I don't know whether it's an age thing (I'm 27), culture thing (west coast/Canada) or a demand thing, I've always been approached rather than vice versa.

Ash78, voting early and often > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 10/02/2019 at 09:49

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Wow...I suspect you’ve benefited from the past few years of a really strong job market if you’re always getting approached. I’ve worked through two recession and on most days, I’d send 3-4 full applications every day after work, complete with cover letters (or whatever I could to get a leg up). Literally hundreds of applications early in my career, so if I got an interview once out of every 50, I’d do everything I could to keep the momentum. Those were the days when NOBODY got approached for a job with less than 20 years’ experience.

But even when times are good, 5 minutes of work to keep your name “top of mind” is still a good policy. Doubly so if your hiring manager is age ~50+. They used to send each other full typed letters constantly, which is pretty archaic now.

But also culturally, down in the South it’s almost expected. I mean, kids send physical thank-you notes to their friends after a birthday party (for the gifts). It’s pretty much expected here, to the point where if you don’t do it, people are a little surprised.

I could take the attitude that “I paid $600 to rent the venue and provide everything, why would I thank you for a $15 toy?!”

But it’s all about building the habits and attitudes.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Ash78, voting early and often 10/02/2019 at 09:58

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As for the being approached thing, Vancouver has a tight job market as it is so expensive here and I work pretty niche claims, so am known in the industry...or at least was until I exiled myself a year ago (left the city life).

I think culture plays a big part. Having done claims in many parts of the country and in Texas, Philly, Portland, Wisconsin and San Francisco I can confirm that “what is acceptable” varies wildly from region to region.

Also, we can't rule out I'm just an asshole and SHOULD be sending them out!

Ash78, voting early and often > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 10/02/2019 at 10:01

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Oh, don’t get me wrong...outside of the job world, I would never send a thank you for anything if it weren’t for my wife’s constant....um....reminders.

i86hotdogs > Ash78, voting early and often 10/02/2019 at 12:39

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When I was job searching in college, nearly everyone recommended it in s ome way or form. I then recruited at colleges for the job I was at later on. A lot of companies, especially if you are in your third or even fourth interview, get to a personal cell phone/text level of relationships with candidates. So whether you send an email, phone call, or even a text, it can never hurt you-unless of course you say something stupid to ruin it .

McMike > Ash78, voting early and often 10/02/2019 at 12:57

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I’m a systems engineer and I have more personality and people skills than most of the people I have worked with - combined.

That’s not a humble brag, they really are that awkward.

One of these days they’ll figure out I’m not one of them.