I don't mean to jump on the political bandwagon but...

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 09/28/2018 at 01:58 • Filed to: Also Skippy is inferior to jif

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I was triggered today and now you all have to hear about it.

[inhales]

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[exhales]

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[inhales]

NO

Has free speech gone too far?!?!

Spanfeller is a twat > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 02:00

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It has. 

Nick Has an Exocet > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 02:00

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farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 02:03

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peanut butter n mayo O.o i may have to try this.... for science....

i tried a fluffernutter for science once.....i did not know things could get that sweet.... i think i gave me grandchildren diabetus with that one

PS9 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 02:04

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Fucking disgusting. Whoever wrote that needs to be deported, along with anyone who would eat this. 

AestheticsInMotion > PS9 09/28/2018 at 02:06

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Seconded

PS9 > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 09/28/2018 at 02:06

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Do it and I'll have you deported to Mars. 

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > PS9 09/28/2018 at 02:12

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that seems fair

*heads off to the shop for peanut butter n mayo*

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 02:45

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I’m a big fan of peanut butter, but I can’t see how mixing in mayo would improve anything. Seems like a real misstep.

Also, Skippy? I’m not going to demand people buy the fancy “organic peanut shards in disgusting oil” type stuff, or even that have to stay away from the sugar loaded mass market brands (though they probably should), but you can do better than Skippy GMG people!

RPM esq. > PS9 09/28/2018 at 02:54

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...straight back to their spiritual home in the upper Midwest , with monitoring to ensure they never again travel south of I-90, west of I-29, or east of I-75.

DipodomysDeserti > facw 09/28/2018 at 03:19

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MaraNatha or GTFO.

DipodomysDeserti > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 03:20

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I also learned this week that people other than Russians put ketchup on spaghetti.  Russians have an excuse because their food is objectively terrible, but...well I guess Midwesterners get a pass too.

CRider > facw 09/28/2018 at 04:13

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By “disgusting oil” do you mean peanut oil? You’re supposed to mix up peanut butter before spreading it. Or you can buy the crappy peanut butter with stabilizers in it but don’t complain because p eanut butter has peanut stu ff in it.  

pip bip - choose Corrour > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 04:28

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peanut butter, yes

but  mayo is only for salads.

AdverseMartyr > facw 09/28/2018 at 07:02

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Look, I take what I can get. It’s either Skippy or something from Vietnam or maybe Thailand when they don’t have the stuff from Vietnam. 

Roundbadge > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 07:06

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Skippy is the superior peanut butter .  Fact.

The Dummy Gummy > facw 09/28/2018 at 07:40

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I think mayo and ketchup can be combined, but I’m not sure. I think I saw it once... don’t shoot the messanger.

I actually do use a little bit of ketchup when I make my crispy se same chicken ‘take-out’ dish. It’s the fucking bomb[dot] com.

https://www.kitchensanctuary.com/2016/06/crispy-sesame-chicken-sticky-asian-sauce/

Arrivederci > DipodomysDeserti 09/28/2018 at 07:47

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Well crazy people in Cincy put chili on spaghetti in a disgusting concoction, so the Russians aren’t too far off.

random001 > Arrivederci 09/28/2018 at 07:59

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Do not disparage the Three-Way, you fascist!

Cash Rewards > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 08:07

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Choosy mom's choose jif. 

Just Jeepin' > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 08:13

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Distant cousins: an Elvis sandwich is the best sandwich, and Which Wich should be ashamed for pulling it from their menu .

And my grandmother used to make grilled cheese with grape jelly on it and it was sooooooo good.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 08:16

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Peanut butter: Republican

Mayonnaise: Democrat

The combination is both unlikely and seemingly distasteful.

Putin Butter.

America...you have been warned.

InFierority Complex > Just Jeepin' 09/28/2018 at 08:48

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Jelly on grilled cheese sounds like an ersatz Monte Cristo so it’s probably pretty good. I might try that.

Urambo Tauro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 09:08

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I can’t wrap my mind around this combination. Of all the PB&___ combinations, why this? If you want a PB&Jelly alternative, why not just reach for the honey jar? Or better yet- MAPLE SYRUP. I don’t know if PB&maple syrup wa s already a thing or not, but I discovered it by accident and it’s the most amazing thing EVER .

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 09:10

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this makes me want to puke

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/28/2018 at 09:54

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this is worst then mustard on fries. 

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > facw 09/28/2018 at 11:03

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Believe it or not, if you buy peanut butter with emulsifiers, the brands chosen are strongly correlated with a buyer’s socioeconomic status.

I met a fascinating guy that worked in marketing for a big agency for decades that correctly identified the socioeconomic status of everyone at a table   based on the brand and type of peanut butter they used throughout their lives. This image says a lot more  about the writers than you realize.

You are right that chunky peanut butter without emulsifiers is bought by more affluent people, though.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > CRider 09/28/2018 at 11:06

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They’re emulsifiers. Not all peanut butter contains peanut oil, either. They all have some kind of  oil added.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > PS9 09/28/2018 at 11:07

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I find it no more repulsive than the peanut butter itself... 

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > RPM esq. 09/28/2018 at 11:10

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But the internet allows them to spread this out of their region. We must also censor communications.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Arrivederci 09/28/2018 at 11:18

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In their defense (not that it should be defended, it is disgusting), Cincinnati “chil i” is not actually “chi li”, but some watery ground meat concoction with oddball seasonings.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 09/28/2018 at 11:20

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... I hate both peanut butter and mayonnaise. What does this say about me?

Oh, and I’ll pass on that nasty white bread.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > RPM esq. 09/28/2018 at 12:08

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So Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Michigan?

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 09/28/2018 at 12:10

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So it’s more like a midwestern bolognese than chili

RPM esq. > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 09/28/2018 at 12:45

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I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.

RPM esq. > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 09/28/2018 at 12:47

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I’m pretty sure that as long as we ’re not on the distribution lists for any church newsletters or phone trees we’ll be safe.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 09/28/2018 at 13:20

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Yeah, except the spices are completely wrong, hence “ concoction” .

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > RPM esq. 09/28/2018 at 13:24

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But they could still write articles like this one, which might influence impressionable young minds outside the region. These kinds of things are like cancer today. 100+ years ago, spreading funeral potatoes and adulterated gelatin beyond your region was a very slow process. Today, these horrors can be spread around the world with the click of a mouse ...

CRider > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 09/29/2018 at 03:17

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The best peanut butter I’ve ever eaten had a layer of oil on top and two ingredients : Peanuts, salt.