"Rainbow" (rainbeaux)
09/13/2018 at 14:10 • Filed to: None
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11|
"Rainbow" (rainbeaux)
09/13/2018 at 14:10 • Filed to: None | 0
| 11 |
Well, that was.... huh. I’m not sure how to feel about it. We didn’t talk about much. I told him that my primary concern was gender identity and he acknowledged that, then asked a few questions about it, and then... I don’t know what I was expecting, but I didn’t think I’d be leaving with the feeling that nothing was accomplished.
I also don’t know if I’m going to bother coming out to my parents today. After this, I just feel incredibly discouraged.
WilliamsSW
> Rainbow
09/13/2018 at 14:26 |
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Ugh - that sucks. Sounds to me like he’s just not doing his job (isn’t a psychologist’s whole JOB basically to ask probing questions on things like gender identity when you bring it up???).
Don’t let his failure get you down though - I’d find a new psychologist.
Good luck!!
Alfalfa
> Rainbow
09/13/2018 at 14:30 |
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Ne w therapists/pshycologists can be quite a crapshoot. My wife has therapy on and off for anxiety and depression, and on one occasion ended up talking about an emotionally abusive boyfriend she had in high school that culminated in a suicide attempt. All this woman said in response was “well why didn’t you leave him?”
Sh e said many more things that basically enforced every mental illness stereotype and made us wonder if her degree was fake. Needless to say my wife found someone else, who was just as floored as we were when told of this escapade.
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WilliamsSW
> Alfalfa
09/13/2018 at 14:36 |
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O god that’s awful- that woman is actively doing damage.
ttyymmnn
> Rainbow
09/13/2018 at 14:40 |
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The trick to finding any doctor is not finding one who tells you what you want to hear, but finding one who listens and tells you things that make sense to you. Keep looking, and best wishes.
Sovande
> Rainbow
09/13/2018 at 14:52 |
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If you decide to go back to this person, or another person, make sure you clearly define what it is that you want to accomplish. If you aren’t sure, tell the person that. It’s hard to develop dialogue, trust and open communication in one session. The really important thing to focus on mi ght be that you are willing and have taken the first, and by far, hardest step, which is actually going. Keep your head up.
Future next gen S2000 owner
> Rainbow
09/13/2018 at 14:56 |
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You be you. Trying to be someone else sucks. Fuck the haters.*
*Haters in life I mean. Not really any haters on Oppo.
farscythe - makin da cawfee!
> Rainbow
09/13/2018 at 15:27 |
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well... that sucks... dont let it get ya down (i know i know... easily said)
but as they say... when life gives you lemons... throw them at your shitty therapist and find a better one
eh... i kinda suck at this stuff... do what you have too to be happy and take care of you first
you got this :)
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ttyymmnn
> Rainbow
09/13/2018 at 15:57 |
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Something else to think about is that no issue this large can be solved in one meeting, and it may take multiple meetings for this doctor to fully understand all about you and what makes you you . It might be worth another session or two to see where he is going. You might also review your discussion in your head and try to understand his questions and why he was asking them. As Shrek observed, we are all onions, and sometimes it takes a while to peel down through all the layers.
Mercedes Streeter
> Rainbow
09/13/2018 at 16:18 |
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Don’t go back.
You’ll keep thinking “oh this visit will make me feel like I’m making some progress” and before you know it you’re several co-pays deep and you’re still spinning your wheels. When I needed a therapist I needed one for suicidal thoughts and horrifying depression unrelated to gender . So I didn’t bother trying to find one that specialized in trans people. What it ended up being was a year of me teaching her about how life as a transgender person is and absolutely very little in the way of helping me not hurt myself. She did help me become the happier person I am today, however there were way too many hours lost to just teaching her what a trans person is.
Find a therapist who knows their way around trans issues and if possible, is trans themselves.
Future Heap Owner
> Rainbow
09/13/2018 at 16:42 |
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Find another one. In my experience it takes a while to find a therapist/psychiatrist that you work well with. When I was looking for one for depression & suicidal ideation in high school, I met with at least three before finding one that I was comfortable with.
DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully
> Rainbow
09/13/2018 at 17:50 |
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I ended up firing my first therapist when I was in KC and going the IC route... In the end, it was definitely worth it.
It wasn’t until I moved to NorCal that I actually found one who “got it”, and I’m going to hate leaving them behind when I move back to KC.