It's my birthday!

"7:07" (fanbrain001)
09/07/2018 at 13:34 • Filed to: None

What should I do? I’m 35 and my brother says I’m halfway to the end.

Quick, someone gift me a Durango SRT and I’ll record your voicemail greeting!

DISCUSSION (33)

MonkeePuzzle > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 13:40

you on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me ?

For Sweden > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 13:41

I’d check to see if your brother has bought any life insurance plans

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 13:42

Rent a nice car on Turo.

Kinja'd!!!

$kaycog > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 13:42

Kinja'd!!!

Happy Birthday! Have some cake!

For Sweden > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
09/07/2018 at 13:46

But there are no nice cars on Turo

Schaef_Camaero Z/28 > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 13:46

Happy Birthday!

Today is also my birthday, but I’m a few years behind.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > For Sweden
09/07/2018 at 13:48

Time to steal one then. Desperate times require desperate measures.

#LiveLifeLarge

For Sweden > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
09/07/2018 at 13:49

Treat strange cars like Aziz treats strange women

#BadAdvice

ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 13:54

*looks at the username, observes that OP doesn’t own a hellcat engined machine*

It’s obvious what you need to do.

Happy birthday!

facw > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 13:55

A 35 yeah old male has a life expectancy of 78, so your brother is shortchanging you (assuming average health.) If by chance you are a woman, 82 is your target number. And keep in mind that these numbers have been continually increasing, it’s quite possible that those numbers will be even higher going forward.

Also, Happy Birthday! I hope you’ve found it a good day, a friend of mine is in labor right now, so her kid will share it (or it’s going to be a long and painful day for her)

The Dummy Gummy > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
09/07/2018 at 14:12

But don’t inappropriately touch woman without their consent.

Chariotoflove > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 14:43

Happy birthday. You should ignore your brother.

7:07 > MonkeePuzzle
09/07/2018 at 14:44

No, but that was my inspiration (RIP Carl Kasell)

7:07 > Chariotoflove
09/07/2018 at 14:45

This is great birthday advice and I’m sure he’ll appreciate the sentiment.

7:07 > Schaef_Camaero Z/28
09/07/2018 at 14:45

Happy Birthday!

7:07 > ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability
09/07/2018 at 14:47

I’d like to test drive one, but in the back of my head I think ~700 won’t be as fun as I think; mostly because I wouldn’t be able to access it without breaking laws or being on a track. I guess I could always drive around with the black key...

Edit - I came up with this user name before the Hellcat was announced and horsepower number was known . Happy coincidence!

7:07 > $kaycog
09/07/2018 at 14:48

Are those chunks of chocolate cookie dough? Tasty! Thanks!

7:07 > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
09/07/2018 at 14:51

I haven’t looked in a while and I’m pleasa ntly surprised!

Kinja'd!!!

ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 14:55

On ramps will be fun in those cars tho.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 15:15

If you haven’t had a midlife crisis car yet , you should go ahead and get started on that.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 15:47

Happy Birthday!

And look at the bright side... you’ll likely get erectile dysfunction long before you hit the end.

/jk

Anyhoo... for your birthday, I give you this:

Kinja'd!!!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > For Sweden
09/07/2018 at 15:50

You saying they Hyundai Elantra isn’t a nice car????

Kinja'd!!!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > For Sweden
09/07/2018 at 15:50

Have sex with them... ?!?

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 16:07

You’re less than half way. Most of us will probably live past 90, provided medical advancements continue at the current rate and we don’t die of some accident . We have a bunch of boomers in front of us with a lot of money to throw at extending their lives, so by the time we’re passing through that part of our lives we’ll have the tech they developed...

nermal > 7:07
09/07/2018 at 16:32

Sell all of your personal belongings, cash out your 401k and any other savings, then buy an RV of some sort and go tour the country. Start a Youtube channel to document your journey, along with bringing in additional income. Steal rocks from different places, break the bigger ones apart and paint stuff on them to sell at various craft shows and on some quirky online store. You can paint a buffalo on a rock stolen from Yellowstone, or a cowboy hat on one stolen from TX, or a bowl of granola on one stolen from CA.

It will be fun!