My night (or day, whatever)

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats) 09/03/2018 at 10:41 • Filed to: None

2

15

2 AM-ish

Friend to me: You want to smoke a hookah?

Me: Bitch, yes.

Friend: You mind if we bring that guy?

Me: No, get yours. But I want fucking tacos.

Friend: K.

Me (At taco place): That dude over there is swole.

Friend: No shit.

Me to swole dude: She likes you, you want to get with her?

Swole dude: I like dick, but she’s pretty nice.

Me to friend: He gay.

Friend: You guys want to smoke a hookah?

Me: Yas.

Get to apartment.

3 AM

Me: What’s this shit?

Friend: That’s my new IKEA bed.

Straight dude: I can build that.

Gay dude: I will help and watch you.

Friend: Oh shit.

Me: Bitch, this is a porno we’re living in right now. Enjoy it.

Four hours of watching shirtless dudes in boxers try to put together an IKEA bed.

Me: It’s seven. I want some unhealthy shit.

Friend: What is there?

Me: Fuck it, let’s find booze.

Friend: K.

Come back. Watch dudes in their skivvies putting together IKEA bed.

Me: You’re welcome.

Ash78, voting early and often > Honeybunchesofgoats 09/03/2018 at 10:59

6

From IKEA’s new Nöhömö collection?

Why were they in boxers? Do I want to know?

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > Honeybunchesofgoats 09/03/2018 at 11:02

1

I still maintain that nothing good has ever happened on a three day weekend. 

Honeybunchesofgoats > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 09/03/2018 at 11:09

1

I’m getting oxtail later. Good shit happens. 

Honeybunchesofgoats > Ash78, voting early and often 09/03/2018 at 11:10

1

Well, straight dude just wanted to be in them. And nice gay dude, we kept miming “take off your clothes” to him. 

WilliamsSW > Honeybunchesofgoats 09/03/2018 at 11:24

1

The part I have trouble believing is that it took 2 guys four hours to assemble an Ikea bed.

Honeybunchesofgoats > WilliamsSW 09/03/2018 at 11:29

2

It’s still half finished. They got the slats in, but then found out it’s a pull out bed. We just spent the night drinking beer and cackling. 

WilliamsSW > Honeybunchesofgoats 09/03/2018 at 12:26

0

Drinking beer and cackling is a good night. 

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > Ash78, voting early and often 09/03/2018 at 13:28

0

because clothes are stupid

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Honeybunchesofgoats 09/05/2018 at 15:52

1

Where the fuck did you get oxtail at? 

Honeybunchesofgoats > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/05/2018 at 15:55

0

https://yelp.to/qTKq/MQaHuISkYP

I wouldn’t be down on Clinton if I wasn’t day drunk, tho

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Honeybunchesofgoats 09/05/2018 at 16:05

1

pfft, I worked on Calhoun street across from the YMCA for 5 years so Clinton isn’t too much of a stretch.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/05/2018 at 16:07

1

Oh wait, my wife works less than a mile from there. Noice 

Honeybunchesofgoats > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/05/2018 at 16:12

0

My parents used to work at Fuld, and later my mom would work holidays at Francis. I spent a lot of my childhood in Trenton.

I still won’t fucking touch Steamboat, but I understand it’s paved now. 

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Honeybunchesofgoats 09/05/2018 at 16:14

1

Honeybunchesofgoats > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/05/2018 at 16:21

0

Pretty much