So... do we get to send Elon to prison now?

"Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)" (bman76-4)
08/24/2018 at 23:38 • Filed to: None

Please?

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DISCUSSION (22)

Chariotoflove > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)
08/24/2018 at 23:45

Which is all to say that he is pissed that he was thwarted.

His Stigness > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)
08/24/2018 at 23:47

He is so fucked.

Kinja'd!!!

LongbowMkII > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)
08/24/2018 at 23:48

Rich people don’t go to prison.

My bird IS the word > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)
08/24/2018 at 23:49

Nah, he is the darling of silicon valley. slap on the wrist.

Tesla goes bankrupt? You will see the torches come out.

sony1492 > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)
08/24/2018 at 23:51

Meh, this pales compared to the current political debacle.

PatBateman > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)
08/24/2018 at 23:54

There needs to be ramifications.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)
08/24/2018 at 23:57

Meh.

Let’s clean out all the currupt, complicit fuckers in DC first. Elon isn’t going anywhere. His ego is too big to relinquish control of Tesla. We can come back to him later.

LastFirstMI is my name > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)
08/25/2018 at 00:00

I just finished listening to a podcast on the fall of the Roman republic. I think we’re at the part where Musk and Trump conspire to undermine the country’s political structure then lead their armies against each other for ultimate power. I’m not kidding.

At least Rome had great roads.

lone_liberal > LongbowMkII
08/25/2018 at 00:02

Unlesss they steal from even richer people.

Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)
08/25/2018 at 00:08

Oh my fucking gods. I can literally see the conversation with the lawyers now.

Lawyers: “Elon. No. Say absolutely nothing. Nothing. NO-THING. Do the best Colonel Klink impression you have EVER done.”
Elon: “Got it. Pretend it was nothing.”
Lawyers: “ NO!!! You do not SAY anything you do not TWEET anything and for the love of all that is holy DO NOT WRITE ANYTHING DOWN.”
Elon: “Got it. Have somebody else issue the press release.”
Lawyers: “ OH MY SWEET HOLY FUCK NO DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SAY ANYTHING AT ALL NOT EVEN THAT WE HAVE BEEN SUBPOENAED. ”
Elon: “You’re just a bunch of idiots and I’m the smartest man in the world. I’m Tony fucking Stark.”
Lawyers: “Are you drunk and-or high as fuck right now?”
Elon: “This guy from the floor says I’m smarter than you.”
Lawyers: “Holy shit are you serious with this shit?”
Random Guy: “He said I’d get a car if I did this. That’s a legally binding contract, right?”
Elon: “So there you have. Irrefutable proof. Look at our employee surveys!”
Lawyers: “... Elon. This is serious. The SEC does not put you in jail. They will take away Tesla and SpaceX from you, for the rest of your life, and they will take your MONEY. You will never be allowed to run another company. Ever. So stop fucking around. Stop tweeting on drugs. Stop bragging about your lack of sleep. Just shut up, keep your head down, and there is a chance that we can spin this so that it all goes away.”
Elon: “Fuck that. I’m smarter than the SEC. They can’t do shit to me. I read the law and it doesn’t say Tweets are public statements.”
Lawyers:
Elon: “So I just did this! That’s a public statement! HA! Game, Set, and Match ol’Musky!”
Lawyers: “ Good luck in court, you insufferable piece of shit. ” “Hello, SEC? Yes. I need to file an ethics matter involving a publicly traded company.”

DC3 LS, Fuck Hyundai, now and forever > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)
08/25/2018 at 00:30

What’s the big deal? If he bought all the stock back, couldn’t he make Tesla private again if he wanted to?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > LongbowMkII
08/25/2018 at 00:45

Damn, you beat me to it.

Future Heap Owner > LongbowMkII
08/25/2018 at 02:04

Actually, sometimes one of them does and you should see how scared it can make them.

Future Heap Owner > LastFirstMI is my name
08/25/2018 at 02:10

We’re clearly at the point in an empire where people who have expected so much and gotten it for so long no longer want to put anything in and cooperate but just want to see what they can get out. W itness the financialization of everything and political deadlock. Then it starts to break up under the stress. To say nothing of the huge resource shocks and mass migrations that are coming up in the rest of the century.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > DC3 LS, Fuck Hyundai, now and forever
08/25/2018 at 06:18

The big deal is that he manipulated the price of stocks directly by saying there would be a buyout at $420 when there wasn’t.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > DC3 LS, Fuck Hyundai, now and forever
08/25/2018 at 07:49

The big deal is that he said he had the funding to take the company private at $420 a share when he didn't. This artifically inflated the stock price, costing investors shit tons of money. That's why it is super illegal.

Tekamul > DC3 LS, Fuck Hyundai, now and forever
08/25/2018 at 08:07

Does he have a secret $6 0B we don’t know about?

He appears to be incapable of taking them private, which makes his very public announcement an issue.

boxrocket > LongbowMkII
08/25/2018 at 09:45

If you’re a VAG exec involved in “Dieselgate” you can/do. Also Martha Stewart.

boxrocket > Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks
08/25/2018 at 09:47

How much better would we be without twitter, and/or if it was restricted to just people you actually knew?

Jayhawk Jake > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)
08/25/2018 at 10:05

1000000 times this. He should face massive fines at a minimum.

I don’t really like the stock market much as an institution, but that's terrible manipulation that can destroy lives.

DC3 LS, Fuck Hyundai, now and forever > Tekamul
08/25/2018 at 12:28

I have absolutely no idea how much him or Tesla is worth tbh.

Tekamul > DC3 LS, Fuck Hyundai, now and forever
08/25/2018 at 13:46

The short answer is that he has no where near enough money to buy Tesla’s shares. Alm ost all of his networth is in Tesla shares, which is about a 22% ownership stake.