Everything on this plate is from plants

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 08/02/2018 at 22:50 • Filed to: None

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I’m drunk so it’s time for some proselytizing. This was my dinner tonight. There were no animal products in it, and it was good.

I blame my wife for my drunkenness. She wanted some red wine and I was all “oh I don’t mind popping to the beer & wine store down the street. I’m working from home tomorrow, let’s get drunk!”

You may be wondering what the hell a beer & wine store is, but here in Montgomery County, MD, the only alcohol distributor is the county, and the only full liquor stores are county stores. There are independent beer & wine stores that buy their beer & wine from the county, and you can’t buy alcohol at all anywhere else. No grocery store alcohol, no gas station alcohol, nothing.

There are 4 different beer & wine stores within a few blocks of my house. Location, location, location. This is much more convenient than driving the 1.3 miles to the county liquor store.

There’s a medical marijuana store across the street from the county liquor store, and both of these places are by a Target and a Marshall’s.

The closest recreational weed store is 11 whole miles away in Columbia Heights, DC. It is ALSO next to a Target and a Marshall's (and a Best Buy, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Modell's, all in the same building, with a large parking garage.)

So now you know that our nation’s capital is a land of Target, Marshall’s, and marijuana.

Also, Ba Tampte half hour pickles are the best pickles in the world.

MURRICA.

Berang > Textured Soy Protein 08/02/2018 at 22:55

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What do you think plants eat?

Textured Soy Protein > Berang 08/02/2018 at 22:56

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Dirt, water and nitrogen.

LOREM IPSUM > Berang 08/02/2018 at 23:00

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Soylent Green.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Berang 08/02/2018 at 23:04

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Easy

LOREM IPSUM > Textured Soy Protein 08/02/2018 at 23:10

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I BBQ’d a Kolbassa, sauerkraut, and pierogis.

There was meat in it, and it was good.

As for beverages, I finished off the last two of these:

..................................................... ................ ..But that wasn’t quite good enough, so decided to join my wife and help her finish off a bottle of this as well:

There are 2 more bottles of that, and a magnum of this in the crisper though, just in case:

And a bottle of OJ, in the unlikely event I keep this party going until breakfast. Which I won’t. Probably.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Berang 08/02/2018 at 23:17

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.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Textured Soy Protein 08/02/2018 at 23:21

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This sausage ultimately came from plants too.

Textured Soy Protein > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 08/02/2018 at 23:25

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Time to cut out the middleman.

Variance > Textured Soy Protein 08/02/2018 at 23:30

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The idea of vegan cheese is... not particularly appetizing.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Textured Soy Protein 08/02/2018 at 23:30

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Middlema n tastes too good.

CompactLuxuryFan > Textured Soy Protein 08/02/2018 at 23:32

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What’s the patty made out of?

I would be completely in favor of massively taxing beef (and gas), but it’s so difficult cutting consumption when it’s right in front of you everywhere and you’re so used to it.

Textured Soy Protein > Variance 08/02/2018 at 23:33

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So you're saying you're not a fan of coconut oil, potato starch, and all-natural vaguely provolone funk?

For Sweden > Textured Soy Protein 08/02/2018 at 23:34

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here in Montgomery County, MD, the only alcohol distributor is the county, and the only full liquor stores are county stores

Will the world ever be free of the horrors of socialism?

Textured Soy Protein > CompactLuxuryFan 08/02/2018 at 23:37

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These were Dr. Praeger’s heirloom bean burgers, but I think Beyond Burgers are better. My wife randomly grabbed a 4-pack of these on sale somewhere, whereas the Beyond Burgers are like 6-7 bucks for a 2-pack. The mountain of caramelized onions is the star here.

brianbrannon > Textured Soy Protein 08/03/2018 at 00:25

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Killing the animals to factory farm monocrops and leaving them to rot seems less decent than eating them

dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter > Textured Soy Protein 08/03/2018 at 00:25

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As someone who can appreciate a good black bean burger, I'd love to have a CMV conversation with a not-drunk you.

Future Heap Owner > Textured Soy Protein 08/03/2018 at 01:11

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For a while for me in the vegan bubble of Portland, it’s gotten to the point where there’s plenty of options that omnivores will enjoy too, and now those options are spreading. In the words of Mr. Burns, excellent.

(And as a lifelong veg, it’s wonderful to turn the tables on the omnivores like that and assure them they’ll have something they’ll enjoy .)

Future Heap Owner > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 08/03/2018 at 01:13

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The m iddlemen are literally swine

Textured Soy Protein > dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter 08/03/2018 at 08:35

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Cytomegalovirus?

Textured Soy Protein > brianbrannon 08/03/2018 at 08:42

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Textured Soy Protein > Future Heap Owner 08/03/2018 at 08:46

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My boss is a 69 year old lady and not exactly up on anything that’s new or different. I didn’t go out of my way to tell her I was vegan but shortly after I started, it somehow it came up in conversation and her reaction was something like, “I could never do that. What do you even eat? Salad?” I didn’t engage in much of a conversation, to say the least.

Then a week or two after that, there was a team lunch, and she made a reservation at...a steakhouse. I ordered some entree salad that normally comes with fried chicken, without the chicken, and fries. Whatever, I didn’t starve.

A couple other people on the team commented to me that they thought it was kinda shitty of her to have a lunch at a steakhouse when I was the new guy.

My office is in Tyson’s Corner, VA which is a particular section of the DC suburbs known for malls, offices, and congestion, and not exactly the most eclectic or hippie-fied part of town. There are many steakhouses, but they’re not the only restaurants around there.

If she had even asked me, I could have easily found a place that had more options for me, like Founding Farmers , which is a DC area fancy-ish sit down restaurant chain. There’s one near my office and another near my house (in Rockville, MD which is a way cooler part of town than stupid Tyson’s). They have a whole meatless section on their menu and serve Impossible Burgers, but still have plenty of options for carnivores.

At least the next time we had a team lunch, it was at Cheesecake Factory and I was able to order some veggie pasta thing.

Jayhawk Jake > Textured Soy Protein 08/03/2018 at 10:13

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How do you know if the plants were grown in soil without animal sourced fertilizer?

dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter > Textured Soy Protein 08/03/2018 at 10:48

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Change my view

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > Textured Soy Protein 08/03/2018 at 10:51

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“I didn’t go out of my way to tell her I was vegan”

Textured Soy Protein > dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter 08/03/2018 at 10:51

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I’m happy to answer questions about why I went vegan, but I  only joke about proselytizing. The extent of my proselytizing is to cook tasty things that happen to be vegan and post pretty pictures of them on the internet. I vote with my wallet and leave the activism to the activists.

Textured Soy Protein > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 08/03/2018 at 11:05

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Yes yes, I know vegans h ave a reputation for volunteering that information.

In this case, during a completely unrelated conversation, she started telling me my assorted lunch options around the office. It was like, steakhouse, Italian joint, Cheesecake Factory, steakhouse, steakhouse, etc.

I told her I don’t go out to lunch that often but when I do it’s usually a quick serve place where I can get something vegan, like the Chipotle and Roti across the street from our office.

Textured Soy Protein > Jayhawk Jake 08/03/2018 at 11:08

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I don’t. It’s impossible to be a 100% perfect vegan through the entire supply chain of everything. I even buy food for my cats without feeling like a hypocrite. 

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > Textured Soy Protein 08/03/2018 at 11:10

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We have lots of vegetarians at my office (no vegans, I think), but only one will literally start the conversation with any waiter with “I’m vegetarian...”

Side note, it’s hilarious how many waiters recommend fish to vegetarians. Sometimes even chicken.

Future Heap Owner > Textured Soy Protein 08/03/2018 at 12:11

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Omnivores act like hearing someone say they’re  vegan is such a burden 

dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter > Textured Soy Protein 08/04/2018 at 13:30

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Are you an ethical vegan, and environmental vegan or both? Who would you say were the most instrumental people in you becoming vegan? 

Textured Soy Protein > dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter 08/04/2018 at 22:40

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I guess you’d say ethical. Before I went vegan, my wife was talking about reducing our meat intake and eating more non-meat things. I’m a big food nerd so took it as a challenge to make good vegetarian and/or vegan stuff. But it was a part of a still-omnivore diet.

We’re big suckers for animals, with our 3 cats, and she got interested in these farm sanctuaries where they take care of ex-farm animals and just let them hang out and live their lives. She found this documentary about farm sanctuaries, we watched it together, and then a few days later I decided on my own, hey, I c an probably do the vegetarian thing and only get eggs and dairy from ethical sources.

So we had a few weeks where we were vegetarian with trying to only buy ethical eggs & dairy, but the more I tried to look into what exactly was ethical eggs & dairy, the less I liked about the egg & dairy industries, so I said fuck it, I’m going vegan.

Of course, we’re not perfect, because we still buy cat food, which is obviously not vegan, and there’s no way to feed cats a vegan diet because they’re straight up carnivores. Unless science comes up with a way to replicate cats’ nutritional requirements with non-animal products, well, we’re screwed. But we like these damn furballs. 

Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) > Jayhawk Jake 08/07/2018 at 18:13

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Cow coincidentally died and decomposed next to my plants?

brianbrannon > dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter 08/18/2018 at 22:41

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The environment vegan argument somehow overlooks the fact that you have to completely destroy the natural environment to grow crops  

dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter > brianbrannon 08/19/2018 at 00:22

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I think the way you’re using “destroy” and the way an environmental vegan would use it are different. An environmental vegan would say that spiking a field with cesium 133 is “destroying” it. I don’t think most environmental vegans necessarily care about keeping the world “natural”. I think they care about keeping it well suited for humans and other species to live in. So, planting corn on a prairie isn’t necessarily a problem, but covering a continent with smog is.

They might also fairly claim that just because one has the choice between a bad option and a worse option doesn’t mean we are justified in picking the worse option. In other words, if eating is bad, but eating meat is worse, I’m not justified in eating meat just because eating is bad.

I don’t agree with environmental veganism (or any veganism that I know of), but I think the issue has a bit more nuance than what it seems to me that you’re saying.