Things that have happened to me in the last few weeks:

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
08/01/2018 at 15:52 • Filed to: None

Re-evaluated career choices.

Had an ex- girlfriend offer to pay airfare to spend three weeks with her in China.

Did not go to China, because that’s a very bad idea .

Bought a poncho.

It was from L. L. Bean. I’m still cool.

Felt powerless to help a friend who is being psychologically abused .

Reconnected with an ex girlfriend who I stopped talking to because she’s Satan incarnate.

Went wedding shoe shopping with a different friend, angling to be a male bridesmaid.

Found out Wegmans no longer has a mini kosher deli, now has a kosher freezer.

Remembered exactly why I was sure my ex was Satan incarnate.

Pondered the point of life when I don’t have easy access to Russ and Daughters and no longer can find belly lox.

Maybe one day if I keep my fingers crossed friend to whom I shall be a bridesmaid suggests I make an online dating profile.

Drink alcohol. Make dating profile.

Get 30 messages in two days .

Realize that I do not need dating profile, but feel bad about making one, since I prefer to creep on people in person and did not respond .

Gasket leak on Jag.

Got a job I am in no way qualified for.

Still considered making a JDate profile, because I’m all about desperate frums.

Bought a new pair of expensive driving loafers.

Did not make JDate profile. Still all about that frum life .

Accepted gasket leak , because the transmission is a goner.

Considered writing down an account of all the weird shit I’ve ever gotten myself into.

May fix gaskets if bored.

Came to weird realization that I am either very lucky, or somehow get rewarded for always trying my best to do good, despite being very lazy and never bothering with anything. Questioned whether I’m actually a Taoist at heart.

Consulted I Ching.

Bought a pair of Nantucket reds.

Living that Take Ivy life.

Pretty sure everything is always okay.

Posted on Oppo.

DISCUSSION (34)

CalzoneGolem > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 15:56

I was on vacation.

I got a free table saw from the dump.

I drove my children around a lot.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 15:57

I think I would’ve gone to China.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 15:57

Posted on Oppo.

It’s all down hill from here

Honeybunchesofgoats > CalzoneGolem
08/01/2018 at 15:58

Where did you go on vacation.

Did you find the table saw while on vacation?

Would you let your kids play with the table saw?

I would.

I do not have kids.

I probably should not own a table saw.

But I do.

Honeybunchesofgoats > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
08/01/2018 at 16:01

I definitely considered it, because I love China, but I also have 200,000 American Express points saved up , have a sense of self-preservation, and don’t really want to sit on a plane for almost an entire day if the end result isn’t going to be getting drunk in a dive bar in Hong Kong.

Not to say that the last part wouldn’t happen, because it definitely would, but that can be accomplished with much less drama.

Honeybunchesofgoats > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s
08/01/2018 at 16:01

I have priorities, man. Poor ones, but they exist.

CalzoneGolem > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 16:04

I didn’t go anywhere for vacation. My son went to a nature camp M-F 9-3 and my daughter had softbal practice T and Th nights, field hockey W nights and so ftball games Sat and Sun.

I did find the table saw during my vacation. It was at the dump.

I would not let my kids play with my table saw. It is mine. They will have to lug their own table saws home from the dum p.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 16:05

Oh, good. Just didn’t want it to be a missed opportunity.

Sounds like you have a trip to plan!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 16:06

Question: is Hong Kong China?

My take: kind of, but not really.

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 16:07

At least you didn’t contemplate tinder. I was contemplating it the other night and that’s when I realized shit just got weird. I get hit on at work but it’s like ‘what if they realize I’m an asshole and tell somebody else ’.

Honeybunchesofgoats > CalzoneGolem
08/01/2018 at 16:08

Will you adopt me?

When I was about 8 , I had a babysitter after school. One day my mom came home and I gave her a very bad birdhouse made out of wood.

She asked how I came to use the tools required to saw wood and hammer nails into a very shitty birdhouse.

That babysitter stopped coming over.

Paradoxically, my mom started letting me stay home alone.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Shamoononon drives like a farmer
08/01/2018 at 16:10

“What if they realize I’m an asshole and tell somebody else” is basically my mantra.

CalzoneGolem > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 16:12

I’m not ready for that kind of commitment.

My son and I have started a “Tinker Club” ... I’m still unclear on the details but it involves puttering aroun d in the garage , snacks and making money selling posters. I don’t get the logistics of it but we’ve built a few random things out of the stuff I’ve got laying around. For awhile he was really into pounding nails into what he called a “Guinea Pig Bridge” but was more like a couple boards and half a pound of nails.

Honeybunchesofgoats > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
08/01/2018 at 16:16

My takes:

1) Yes.

2) no, because even if it’s a guaranteed visa stamp at the airport, it’s still a visa stamp required to go from China to an S.A.R.

3) Some Hong Kong guys and their girlfriends made a big deal out of not being Chinese while ordering bottles of Dom Perignon and sharing it with me and the Irish woman who picked me up earlier in that bar, and didn’t ask either of us to contribute to their insane bill in a place where alcohol is already pretty insanely priced.

It’s mostly #3. Those dudes could say they’re from Mars and I’d support that shit after they let me drink a lot of their expensive booze.

Dark chocolate > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 16:18

200,000 american express points.. genuinely curious.. Is that a big deal?

i have a Amex Platinum card and I think I probab ly have close to 160,000 points. What does that get me ,.

Honeybunchesofgoats > CalzoneGolem
08/01/2018 at 16:19

I support your decision not to tell your son how bad of a craftsman he is.

Just keep in mind that I’m absolutely confident that I could do an Amish-style barn-raising on my own, and that that’s largely due to never being made aware of my own inability to make things.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Dark chocolate
08/01/2018 at 16:24

A $1,600 plane ticket. More if you’re really into maximizing frequent flyer mile programs, but I can’t be bothered. Don’t ever use Amex points for anything else. As far as I know, flights are the only beneficial to ansfer.

Basically, I’m in it for the customer service and the knowledge that I eventually get more money out of points than I do from the membership fee. I used to have Platinum, but I don’t really need the lounge access and Gold Rewards actually accrues more points if you mostly use your card for day-to-day expenses. Plus, its yearly fee is less than half of Platinum.

CalzoneGolem > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 16:25

Well you’re welcome to swing by with some snacks and pound some more nails into the bridge and purchase some posters whenever you want.

imadick > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 16:26

“Get 30 messages in two days.”

Nice humble brag

Honeybunchesofgoats > imadick
08/01/2018 at 16:29

Fair, but ask yourself: is that why I get that?

Honeybunchesofgoats > CalzoneGolem
08/01/2018 at 16:29

Nice try, but now I only work for alcohol or currency that can be converted into alcohol.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 16:30

Hong Kong residents have incredible freedom compared with those on the mainland. I’ve been to Hong Kong, Jiangmen and Beijing (and the outskirts) and the differences are striking. My brother and his family currently live in Shanghai - I really need to get over there to visit them sometime soon.

Honeybunchesofgoats > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
08/01/2018 at 16:34

Totally agree, and I hope it lasts. I’ve been to Beijing, Shanghai, Xian, Baoding, Guilin, and Guangdong, and The difference is palpable.

That said, I’ve also been to some countries with REALLY oppressive governments, and that’s an entirely different level of fucked up that goes beyond listening in on WeChat calls.

AestheticsInMotion > imadick
08/01/2018 at 16:55

*Bumble brag

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 17:00

I hope so, too. HK’s an awesome place.

Yeah, there are all levels of oppression (and freedom) around the world, of course, but the new social credit score is very concerning... https://www.newstatesman.com/world/asia/2018/04/no-china-isn-t-black-mirror-social-credit-scores-are-more-complex-and-sinister

Honeybunchesofgoats > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
08/01/2018 at 17:02

That thing is creepy as fuck. But, honestly, so is how very obvious it is when you say something on WeChat that makes censors perk up. Xi scares the shit out of me, but I really hope China keeps moving in the right directions.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 17:10

I spent a week on a ship .

I drank too much.

I came back and realized I have to off load the X-Type because it’s wasting away just sitting there and I have too many other car/house related projects.

I had another drink.

Honeybunchesofgoats > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/01/2018 at 17:13

That makes me want to drink. Just make sure it goes to a good home.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/01/2018 at 17:15

That’s why I drink, I can’t think of where it would go that wouldn’t just end up being an auction block. Sigh.

Honeybunchesofgoats > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/01/2018 at 17:20

It’s manual, though, right? They’re like unicorns.

If you’re not in a super rush to sell, give Tim a call here: https://yelp.to/qTKq/MEgQ3hjl2O

The guy is the best indie Jag mechanic I’ve ever found, and I’ve definitely seen him advertise weird Jags before.

CalzoneGolem > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/02/2018 at 08:08

Will you work for potatoes? Potatoes can be converted into alcohol.

Dark chocolate > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/02/2018 at 08:12

Yeah. I hear you . So, basically 100 point = $ 1. That’s what I needed to confirm .

Lounge access is a big deal for me.

I managed to have my 3 kids and my wife on 1 domestic 3 international lounges in last 3 months. I must say it paid off. :)

Besides, having coupled the AMEX platinum with my company’s priority rate at National car rental - pushed me into Executive El ite.

I had a Lincoln Navigator for 5 days for a total of CAD $217 (including all coverages and taxes) in Toronto . Another time I had a BMW 430 con vertible for the same price for 5 days in C alifornia .

We have started booking all our flights from amex travel and if it’s fairly close in price, then we end up with 5x points.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/02/2018 at 10:15

3.0 Manual with sport package. It needs work though, headliner needs replacement and the quarter panels have delaminated as well. and the usual ware stuff (tie rod ends ect...). But I will check that out, there is also a guy in Flem ington NJ who specializes in Land Rovers and Jags.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
08/02/2018 at 10:47

Quarter panels... sigh; I mean the A-Pilar and rear pilar have delaminated.