Well this is a new one for me.

"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove) 06/28/2018 at 13:53 • Filed to: work place issues

1

63

I employ a small number of people in my lab, and personality conflicts come with the territory. I like to call it an Anne Frank situation, where people who aren’t related or necessarily choose each other end up spending huge parts of their days together in a single room. So, I’m used to dealing with most kinds of gripes and conflicts.

This one, however, has me a bit out of my depth. One of the techs says that when she is with one of the students, he has long conversations with himself. She says he takes both sides of these conversations and that he changes his voice for each side. He is not on a hands free, taking a phone call. She looked up indicators of mental health issues, and now she’s really scared that he could freak out, like maybe he’s a potential shooter. She came to me today to pretty much beg me to do something.

I have to address her concerns, but I’m kind of at a loss as to how. So, I looked up the student health service mental health division, and I reached out for information on who can give me guidance. Obviously I can’t just blow this off, but I also have to be cognizant of the student’s rights and privacy.

Anyway, I’m waiting to see what kind of response I get from the health service.

Alfalfa > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 13:57

1

Well shit. That's... interesting. 

DucST3-Red-1Liter-Standing-By > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 13:59

1

Similar ish situation in my lab. 50 year old grad student with tu ret te syn drome. He talks to himself constantly. Drives us all up the wall

Honeybunchesofgoats > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 13:59

1

Everything else aside, how long is the student going to be involved? What’s the tenor of the conversations he has with himself? Are they related to the task at hand or more disturbing?

OPPOsaurus WRX > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:04

6

if you google runny nose or headache or rash, all the results show you gunna die. I’m guessing its similar if you google ‘people who talk to themselves’ the results will instantly take you to worst case sc enario. Shes probably over reacting to something she knows nothing about. It sounds lik e this is a situation that is a bit over your head and you probably did the best thing by notifying the mental heath people.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/28/2018 at 14:06

5

(probably not whats happening)

person A: you really shouldn’ t have cut the head off that cat today

person A (2 ): but I wanted to taste the blood as it rained from its neck. It was so tasty. lets do it again tonight

person A: no thats bad no we shouldn’ t

person A(2) : shut up or i’ll kill you

SirDrivesAlot (now with hybrid powerrrr) > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:08

2

You need to get your HR people involved also- this is something they would need to be a part of (speaking as a Payroll Specialist /HR Assistant ....)

Berang > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:11

1

I w o u l d b e w o r r i e d i f h e w e r e e i t h e r e c h o i n g e v e r y t h i n g b e i n g s a i d, o r i f h e w e r e r u n n i n g c o n v e r s a t i o n s h a v i n g n o t h i n g t o d o w i t h what’ s g o i n g o n. 

red014 > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:11

4

I have no advice, just levity.

DipodomysDeserti > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:11

3

Has anyone tried talking to the student? Just because someone talks to themselves doesn’t mean they’re going to shoot up a school.

Also, “ Anne Frank situation”?  Oy vey...

InFierority Complex > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:12

2

I don’t know, p eople can be weird without being dangerous. That said, you’ re probably doing the best thing by seeking some guidance on this issue.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:13

4

I had a roommate at one point with *severe* Aspergers who would say things aloud all the time, possibly as self-reinforcement/a tic, and I had another aspie friend who did it a little - including with different affectations . Between that kind of thing (which is easy to let go unchecked) and the Tour ette’s suggestion, I don’t think there’s any question he’s extremely socially maladjusted, but I don’t know that imputes any sort of risk.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > DipodomysDeserti 06/28/2018 at 14:17

6

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Trapped in the same room, sure I get it. But I think that the nuance around that situation is “why” they are trapped in the same room.

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:18

1

D e f i n i t ely r e q u i r e s a m e n t a l h e a l t h e x p e r t’s i n p u t. C o u l d easily be a n o v e r r e a c t i o n, o r p e r h a p s the s t u d e n t nee d s s o m e a s s i s tance, o r, u n l i k e l y but p o s s i b l e, h e ’s a danger t o h i m self o r o t h e r s.

You’re doing the right thing o f c o u r s e - a m c u r i ous as t o h o w i t turns o u t, but H I PA A might prevent y o u from finding o u t. G o o d luck! 

PartyPooper2012 > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:20

2

Since when is it bad to consult with yourself?
Me- Will this work?
I - YEP!
Me - Then let’s put it to work
I - Sure, but we need few more gizmos.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:20

0

Do you want to write about this here?

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > DipodomysDeserti 06/28/2018 at 14:21

5

The Jewry is still out on that one.

Chariotoflove > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 06/28/2018 at 14:37

0

Obviously.

Chariotoflove > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/28/2018 at 14:39

1

He’s going to be here a couple more years.  I don’t have any personal experience of these conversations, only the words of clearly upset tech.  I can’t judge if she’s overreacting or if he’s really being that creepy.  I mean, I talk to myself sometimes, but not so that anyone has ever complained about it (that I know of).

Chariotoflove > Alfalfa 06/28/2018 at 14:40

0

In an I-really-didn’t-need-this-in-my-life way, yes.

Chariotoflove > DucST3-Red-1Liter-Standing-By 06/28/2018 at 14:41

0

I can see that.  At least you know the cause though and aren’t worried about him going postal, right?

KevlarRx7 > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:42

1

I quite often do this when I’m working with someone I don’t like, or I quote the Bible as a answer to everything.

I'm sure the student is fine. 

Chariotoflove > OPPOsaurus WRX 06/28/2018 at 14:43

0

Well I haven’t notified anyone yet, really. I’m asking guidance as to who to talk to.

I tend to think this might be an overreaction knowing how stressed the student is. Thing is, I can’t just  ignore the woman’s concerns. I have to address them somehow.  I’ve asked her to write an email to me to document her concerns.

Chariotoflove > SirDrivesAlot (now with hybrid powerrrr) 06/28/2018 at 14:45

0

HR is not the first place I’ll go.  The HR director here is a worthless idiot who only knows how to fill out forms and follow wrote procedures.  They may or may not need to be involved at some point though.  I hope not, because that would mean there is something really going on.

Chariotoflove > Berang 06/28/2018 at 14:45

0

Yes, and I just haven’t heard them myself to see if my creep-o-meter would be set off as well.

Chariotoflove > red014 06/28/2018 at 14:46

1

Levity always helps me.

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:47

1

This makes that time I had to have “the talk” with an employee about body stank (odor doesn’t cover it) seem like a cake walk.

Chariotoflove > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 06/28/2018 at 14:48

0

Well, a research lab is a large room where everyone has a work space and has to share equipment, get around each other, etc.  Obviously, they aren’t confined there and not allowed to leave the room.  But, it’s impossible to avoid people and get your job done, although many students do work late nights or weekends to have the place to themselves.  I did that too.  The silence is nice sometimes.

Chariotoflove > InFierority Complex 06/28/2018 at 14:49

2

Yeah, I mean, as a manager, I have to address the concern of my employee, whether or not it turns out to be a false alarm on her part.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 06/28/2018 at 14:53

2

He absolutely has social difficulties, and therefore not many friends to talk to. I suspect there is no real physical risk. Unfortunately, I can’t ignore the complaint as a boss. Also:

Got that from a friend with A spergers.

DucST3-Red-1Liter-Standing-By > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 14:58

1

Yeah, I mean he’s got lots of issues along with turettes, but for the most part he’ s at least stable

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 15:06

1

I have a brother who’s actually diagnosed-diagnosed, another brother who might get a diagnosis easily, and an uncle who could well be a textbook example . I’m a bit maladjusted in that direction myself and only do as well socially as I do by channeling some inability to read other people toward a sort of social bravery - “I can’t read them, but it doesn’t matter!”. Yeah.

SirDrivesAlot (now with hybrid powerrrr) > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 15:07

1

That sucks. HR should be someone that can give supervision and employees support. They should at least be advised of the situation, if only to cover yourself....

InFierority Complex > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 15:14

1

Certainly, taking your employee’s concerns seriously is great, more than I believe my leadership would do.

Hopefully it turns out to be nothing, or at worst an awkward/ embarrassing conversation with the student.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 15:33

1

I talk to myself too, especially when I’m doing technical stuff.  Although, responding back like a separate person is a little weird.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 15:39

0

I intended that as more of a rhetorical to suggest that perhaps you might not .

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 15:42

2

On the one hand, it’s perfectly normal for people to talk to themselves.
On the other hand, continuous running conversations can be annoying and a potential sign of mental illness.
Shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Oh, and when did you go to medical school, Mr. Know It All?
You don’t need to go to medical school to know that all sorts of people talk to themselves without incident.
So you aren’t qualified to render a diagnosis. Zip it, asshole.
Hey, watch your language. There’s no reason to make this personal.
Personal? How ‘bout I shove my foot up your ass? Is that personal enough for you?

Yeah, I’m really of two minds about this. 

Chariotoflove > WilliamsSW 06/28/2018 at 16:00

1

Well, I won’t share protected health info, even anonymized, on Oppo.

My gut is that this is an overreaction to innocuous behavior on the part of a very stressed student.  But then, I suppose somebody may have said that about any of the high school shooters over the years.  

Chariotoflove > PartyPooper2012 06/28/2018 at 16:01

1

I have those conversations, too.

Chariotoflove > KevlarRx7 06/28/2018 at 16:04

0

Ooo, I like that. Is it a venial sin to use the scripture as a tool to antagonize someone? Can I receive a pardon if the person is annoying and deserves it?These are the important questions.

I suspect the student is fine too.  The issue is really how to I properly address a concern brought to me by one of my employees while protecting all parties involved.  Universities are all about policies and CYA procedures.    

Chariotoflove > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo 06/28/2018 at 16:07

1

Oh goodness, yes.  Ans sometimes you encounter overwhelming cologne on people trying to cover it up.  Makes me want to see how long I can hold my breath.

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 16:09

1

This one was, apparently , cultural. In his country (which I feel bad, but I can’t remember where it was) stank is apparently a manly thing.

We would rate his daily stank levels by the number of cubes around him that were uninhabitable.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 06/28/2018 at 16:11

0

Some people put so much more into reading the person than others. I wish more people would say what they mean along with the body language rather than assuming everyone should get the hint. I mean my wife and I still have misunderstandings because of that, and we’ve been together 30 years.

Chariotoflove > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 06/28/2018 at 16:14

1

I realized that. I think I’m firm ground here, since the entire thing is anonymous, including me, and no one knows any of the players . After all, f or all anyone really knows, I could be a 12 year old kid making stuff up on an internet forum to get attention.

Chariotoflove > InFierority Complex 06/28/2018 at 16:14

0

Yeah.

Chariotoflove > Honeybunchesofgoats 06/28/2018 at 16:15

1

Yep, although I can’t say for sure that I’ve never done that before, myself...

Chariotoflove > haveacarortwoorthree2 06/28/2018 at 16:16

0

Nice!  Great synopsis of Fight Club.

Chariotoflove > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo 06/28/2018 at 16:17

1

Yeah, many cultures don’t bathe as much as Americans do.  I mean, that’s part of why perfume was invented, right?

KevlarRx7 > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 16:25

1

Definitely not a sin, after all you’re spreading the word of the lord to those who wouldn’t otherwise hear it.

I know what you mean, maybe just have a old fashioned 1 to 1 with the student in question, as sometimes people hide things in the most unusual ways, and just having someone to listen helps a lot.

I quite often have conversations with the stock at work, or inanimate objects. It helps with my thought process.

Chariotoflove > KevlarRx7 06/28/2018 at 16:29

0

I kind of did that just now. The guy is really feeling alone and stressed, so it’s not surprising. I want to see if I can do something to alleviate that a bit, but I want to keep my personal  distance.

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 16:30

1

Of course you wouldn’t share that - I know that you know better.  I’m guessing that you yourself won’t even find out.

You’re probably right - but best to draw attention to it, so the right people can take a look and determine if there’s any risk.  

KevlarRx7 > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 16:32

0

Does your university have a mentor program or groups that you could persuade him to try? 

Chariotoflove > KevlarRx7 06/28/2018 at 16:46

1

Trying to find out now.  The student health services is going to send me some info.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 16:47

1

Just showing some concern.

Chariotoflove > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 06/28/2018 at 16:50

0

I get that, and thanks.  Caution is a good instinct in things like this.  I thought a lot about it before posting.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 16:57

1

Nom De Plume > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo 06/28/2018 at 17:33

0

Musk, elan.  Very few combine both.

Nom De Plume > SirDrivesAlot (now with hybrid powerrrr) 06/28/2018 at 17:35

0

pampooveydolphin.gif

Nom De Plume > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 17:38

0

Young guy(?), highly suggest right swiping the pain away and finding a suitable companion to see him  through the overburdened years. Align himself for a few years of employment with less draw on his resources while still having career advancement and development opportunities.

Chariotoflove > Nom De Plume 06/28/2018 at 18:08

0

Sorry, I didn’t understand that.

...finding a suitable companion...

Did you just suggest I find him a hookup?

bubblestheturtle > Chariotoflove 06/28/2018 at 19:28

1

The Army is hiring.

Chariotoflove > bubblestheturtle 06/28/2018 at 19:30

0

Hmmm...

ttyymmnn > Chariotoflove 06/29/2018 at 18:43

1

Maybe you shouldn’t have hired Gollum.

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 06/29/2018 at 18:46

1

Wow, he’s not far off, is he Preciousssss?