"gin-san - shitpost specialist" (gin-san-)
06/08/2018 at 16:17 • Filed to: FUCK
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"gin-san - shitpost specialist" (gin-san-)
06/08/2018 at 16:17 • Filed to: FUCK | 11
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Normally, I’m not moved by celebrity deaths. It’s not that I don’t care about them as human beings, but I’m so far removed from them that it’s not something I feel deeply about, despite the fact that I can empathize with others over the loss of someone important.
Bourdain is the one that really opened my eyes to the world, how little I’ve seen, and how much I’d missed in places he’d already been. The down-to-earth views he had and the way he wrote/narrated his programs always hit an emotional nerve.
His death was the first thing I read about this morning, pretty much right after waking up, and I’ve just been feeling a bit dejected today. It really hit home since I’m no stranger to depression to myself but am at a point where I can manage those thoughts and feelings. When I was younger, there were a few points in my life where I contemplated ending myself but just kept forcing myself through the next day, the day after, and the day after that. Carrying a dark burden by myself was immensely saddening and lonely; I’d talk to doctors, they’d offer therapy and medication; I’d talk to family who didn’t understand this at all; I didn’t want to bring it up to friends for fear of alienation and/or cliche, pointless anecdotes about “feeling blue” and just needing to “cheer up” and “get some exercise”. I honestly don’t know what has changed between now and about 14 years ago when I first truly felt my depression dragging me down; I can tell you that it has never truly gone away, and some days the burden is greater than others, but it has lessened over time.
I think that Bourdain’s suicide has left me thinking about my own issues which are potentially unresolved. Selfishly, I am terribly sad about the fact that we lost a uniquely talented writer whose show opens up the world to those who may not ever have a chance to experience all that he has, and the fact that he probably had so much more to share. He will be missed; even though I never knew him personally, getting to know his personality through his shows which I’ve watched over and over again has made him feel like a friend. No Reservations/Parts Unknown are two of my favourite shows, and I still refer to these whenever I look to travel to new places.
We should all feel for Eric Ripert, too; I believe he was the one who found Bourdain dead and those two had excellent chemistry together. I can’t even imagine finding one of my own friends passed away, let alone from their own actions. The episodes they shared together (I recall the French Alps, Marseille, and Sichuan China) were eye-opening and entertaining.
I think everybody carries a dark burden, and some are more capable of shouldering the immense weight than others. Those of us that are stronger need to speak up about depression and other psychological issues to diffuse the stigma around it so that we can all better support those who struggle with their daily burden.
Despite the heavy shit here, have a nice weekend, everyone. Hug your spouse, children, parents, pets, friends - I think we all need a little bit more love these days.
Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
> gin-san - shitpost specialist
06/08/2018 at 16:32 |
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Well said.
ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
> gin-san - shitpost specialist
06/08/2018 at 16:33 |
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Indeed. Well said.
DipodomysDeserti
> gin-san - shitpost specialist
06/08/2018 at 16:39 |
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I broke down when I heard his friend had found him. It’s been a rough few days for me and that hit me hard. Just...fuck.
WilliamsSW
> gin-san - shitpost specialist
06/08/2018 at 16:45 |
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Well put. And I couldn’t agree more - with all of it. Thanks.
DutchieDC2R
> gin-san - shitpost specialist
06/08/2018 at 17:10 |
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Your post feels like I couldve written it. It resembles how I felt when I read the news this morning. It also pretty much describes.....well..everything the way I would describe it.
Honeybunchesofgoats
> gin-san - shitpost specialist
06/08/2018 at 17:14 |
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Speaking from the other side, I can pretty neatly divide my life into two parts—before and after I experienced something like this with a loved one, and it fucks you up pretty good, and definitely broke a part of me.
It’s tough, because there’s nothing you can really say or do for someone in that situation. I genuinely believe that everyone can find their own reason to pull through, but it’s a personal thing, and you can’t really find that for them.
Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
> gin-san - shitpost specialist
06/08/2018 at 17:42 |
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Bourdain’s suicide always leaves me wondering ‘why’ and if anything could have been said or done to cause Bourdain or whoever not to kill themselves.
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gin-san - shitpost specialist
> Honeybunchesofgoats
06/08/2018 at 17:47 |
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To me, that’s very true. All I did was drag my ass through the each day until shit started getting better. I don’t know what it was that really changed for me - during my darkest feeling years, I lived alone, with family, with my best friends - but it’s almost like after a certain point I embraced the feeling as much as I could. I tend to have a darker sense of humor, a more cynical view of things, but love to enjoy the little things in life, like a great bowl of noodle soup, for instance.
The sad part is, if I were to give this advice to the wrong person, they may end up committing suicide anyway. I suppose I learned at a certain point that you either get used to certain feelings or that they begin to fade - I always thought about emotional extremes all having half-lives, the worse ones being more like carbon-14 (e.g. 5000+ years) and lesser ones being more carbon-15 (e.g. around 3 seconds).
I honestly think that seeking pleasure is what keeps me going, but this can be a nasty road to go down, too. I do enjoy drugs but it stops at cannabis and alcohol, and even then not to the point of impeding my daily function.
Like you said, everybody needs to find their own path, but I think this is what makes depression so devastatingly isolating for some people. I’d love it if getting over depression was as simple as eating better and exercising, but it simply is not (for me).
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gin-san - shitpost specialist
> Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
06/08/2018 at 17:55 |
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As much as I like to think I know him, I only know the TV personality and not what’s behind the scenes. He seems like the kind of guy that is showing his genuine self on his programs, but depression is one of those things that you (sadly) learn to hide from others.
I had a friend in high school who committed suicide not even a year after I left for university; I couldn’t help but thinking the same thing at the time.
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Honeybunchesofgoats
> gin-san - shitpost specialist
06/08/2018 at 18:06 |
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That’s exactly the sort of advice I’d be inclined to give someone, because it’s what works for me when I’m feeling shitty, I’m glad it works for you too.