2018: A Scraped Odyssey

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78) 06/06/2018 at 15:58 • Filed to: None

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Today my wife was on a local suburban road when a fire truck came racing up from behind. Being a good citizen, she started to pull over, but realized that this short stretch of road had zero shoulder and a 2’ deep drainage gully in the way. So she aimed for the next driveway, but cut it short due to visibility (driving a big-ass car and being barely over five feet tall don’t help).

99 problems, now a ditch is one.

So naturally the van ended up high-centered, resting between the front wheels, and with the left rear tire in the air. I was 5 minutes away and raced over to check it out. I immediately assumed we’d be looking at a new oil pan, maybe some exhaust work, hopefully not a fully tranny... My mind was racing about how many low-hanging bits the Odyssey had underneath its modest ground clearance. A visual inspection showed the car resting on the front of the exhaust, among other things.

I’ve got to say it wasn’t a good day.

We contemplated a quick self-rescue with my car and a tow strap, but the police had already been called and had asked for a wrecker. I figured $50-$100 for a professional winch would be worth the cost, especially if something bad happened along the way (like rolling the van into the ditch). The flatbed wrecker showed up about 15 minutes later as we watched half of our neighborhood drive by.

Ain’t got no love for tows/Winches ain’t sh*t

As the tow driver slowly winched the van backwards, I kept listening for the “CRUUUUNNNCH” of a catalytic converter or aluminum oil pan. But it never happened. I immediately ran over to see the fluid on the ground. First, I stuck my hand in it. Feels like water, but might be coolant. Then I tasted it. Tastes like water, too.

Is this just A/C condensation?

I craned my neck under the car and inspected the damage to the asphalt. CV joints in place, oil pan fine, chunks of half-melted asphalt stuck to the exhaust downpipe. But nothing seemed wrong. As the tow driver came over to take a look, he pointed to a perfect ½” deep notch in the road’s white stripe (bottom of the pic below). “Your front tow loop caught the car.”

Dat asphalt!

That’s right – a tiny little loop of steel attached to the subframe kept the van from collapsing onto the exhaust, oil pan, and transmission, in that order. It also probably saved the entire front bumper and fascia from being torn off.

And just for that, I’m getting one of those bright yellow “TOW” decals that all the track bros have on their car bumpers. Because that tow loop is now a certified badass.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 16:10

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That is epic.

My tow loop is a removable one that you screw into the front bumper when needed! Neighbour had to help me use it to tow my car off a snowbank I got high-centered on the winter before last with his ATV...

HammerheadFistpunch > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 16:10

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Sweet flex.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 16:12

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but might be coolant. Then I tasted it

you sir are braver than i am. ill smell it but im not tasting anything from under my car haha

Ash78, voting early and often > HammerheadFistpunch 06/06/2018 at 16:13

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They didn’t even look in this honky’s direction as I ran the intersection.

Ash78, voting early and often > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 06/06/2018 at 16:15

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It’s the final step in the Gearhead Scientific Method. If it doesn’t feel greasy or smell pungent, is it sweet?

*do not attempt with electric cars

Tekamul > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 16:20

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That tow loop doubles as a jack point for the full front end. They are beefy.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 06/06/2018 at 16:20

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Really you’ve never done it?

Party-vi > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 16:25

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Hell all you needed was a fat guy on that rear bumper and a limited slip front diff to get that out of there.

vicali > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 16:25

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Good save!

Ash78, voting early and often > Tekamul 06/06/2018 at 16:26

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Thanks, I just learned about it (the hard way) and will definitely use it again.

Ash78, voting early and often > Party-vi 06/06/2018 at 16:27

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Had one, but not both ;)

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 16:27

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But how are you supposed to check if your battery has charge if you can’t stick your tongue on it?

Dark chocolate > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 16:31

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Yeah, tell me again.. how a Van is better than a massive Suburban?

DipodomysDeserti > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 16:32

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As a high school science teacher I’m going to have to chastise you for testing an unknown liquid by putting it in your mouth.

As someone who has done this when it turned out to be coolant, congrats! Nice save!

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 06/06/2018 at 16:35

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nope cant say i have

vondon302 > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 16:40

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It’s better to be lucky than good sometimes

Ash78, voting early and often > DipodomysDeserti 06/06/2018 at 16:42

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LMAO.

I’ve been scolded for that since 6th grade science class when I said that “tasting” a plant was a good way to describe its characteristics.

I blame my parents for feeding me vegetables at home.

jkm7680 > DipodomysDeserti 06/06/2018 at 16:47

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ALWAYS WAAAAAFT

deekster_caddy > DipodomysDeserti 06/06/2018 at 16:47

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“tasting” doesn’t mean swallow!

Ash78, voting early and often > Dark chocolate 06/06/2018 at 16:48

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A lot of reasons, but not ground clearance or towing.

OTOH, lot of ground clearance would have resulted in a much bigger drop to the undercarriage, so who knows. Cars aren’t really built for this move.

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 16:49

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I always knew the Odessey could get on 3 wheels. #AutoX

Joking aside, comprehensive insurance should cover the repairs.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 17:00

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So much for the lucky-chance-to-be-rid-of-it, eh?

random001 > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 17:01

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11/10 for thread title!

Long-Voyager > Dark chocolate 06/06/2018 at 17:03

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Wrong van:

deprecated account > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 17:03

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Need to get me a long travel kit like that

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 06/06/2018 at 17:32

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It can’t be that dangerous can it

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 06/06/2018 at 17:58

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No fluid in a car is going to hurt you if you lick a finger of it. Except battery acid but you are going to know that its battery acid the second you stick your finger in it.

TahoeSTi > Dark chocolate 06/06/2018 at 18:00

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A full size van with quigley 4wd is always better than a suburban.

AestheticsInMotion > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 18:18

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Not what you’d expect to see high-centered, but I have no room to judge

aquila121 > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 18:19

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I really want you to put a 2-way in that van and let your wife rip some sweet burnouts.

shop-teacher > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 18:35

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NIIIIIIICE!!!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Dark chocolate 06/06/2018 at 18:53

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If it was a Suburban it would have flipped over!!!

just-a-scratch > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 19:48

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I’m so glad to see your scraped Oddessey didn’t become a scrapped Oddessey.

dtg11 - is probably on an adventure with Clifford > Ash78, voting early and often 06/06/2018 at 23:51

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I remember a similar thing happened to our Odyssey, high centered on a rock, but were pretty rural. Took almost 2 hours for the tow truck to arrive, thankfully insurance paid for the tow and there was no damage

gogmorgo - rowing gears in a Grand Cherokee > Ash78, voting early and often 06/07/2018 at 00:01

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I’ve three-wheeled Saint Jimmy off-road a few times. This is mild but the only photo on my phone

The front suspension crossmembers sit around and slightly below the engine and trans oil pans, and behind the front wheels there’s nothing below the frame rails to catch on a ledge like that until the leaf spring mounts which are pretty beefy.

My MJ, XJ, and ZJ are similar, in that for a solid ledge to damage something, it would have to smash the front axle up past the bumpstops (or bend it I guess) and into the oil pan.

The Niva which is also IFS like the Jimmy has a beefy crossmember right in front/above the oil pan that you’d land on as well.

Take away is, the higher ground clearance means there’s more room to put real structure or beefy suspension between the “delicates” and the ground. Also I hate minivans. Nothing that big and heavy should be front wheel drive, it’s just asking for trouble.

MiniGTI - now with XJ6 > Ash78, voting early and often 06/07/2018 at 08:59

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I read that as “A Scrapped Odyssey”

Ash78, voting early and often > MiniGTI - now with XJ6 06/07/2018 at 09:02

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Damned close! :P

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Party-vi 10/22/2018 at 12:00

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I had to use this technique to get a Chevy Equinox out of a ditch. The car was floating on two tires, Thankfully it did have the ground clearance to keep the chassis off the gourd. It was AWD so i knew if we could just get 3 tires we could get it out. we had 4 people so the skinniest of us got in the driver’s seat. the two girls hoped in the back, and i stood on the back bumper and swung my weight down as much as i could. eventually I got the car rocking enough that the other back wheel hit ground as it was spinning freely. after the third time the car was on 4 wheels again.

I felt really ba d because it was me who got the car in the ditch. I was backing up on a snowy road, and couldnt see where the ditch really started. But the girl that owned the car was pretty excited that her upgrade from a Dodge Stratus to an AWD SUV actually made a difference. She had just bough it the day before.