Ever have a co-worker...

"Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing." (granfury) 06/02/2018 at 16:52 • Filed to: None

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...that constantly says or does annoying shit that just makes you want to stab them? There was one today that would reluctantly answer the occasional phone or radio call in between texting his friends. He usually takes the manager’s workstation so that he’s hidden behind a wall where the security cameras can’t see him. The routes were going to shit and he wasn’t bothering to do anything about it, and I couldn’t fix everything on my own (not that I should have to...) We’re dispatchers - that’s why we’re there, dumbass... He also uses his lunch break to get food, but not eat it, choosing instead to eat whilst ‘working’. We’re not supposed to eat there because of insects and grease and such on the radios, computers and phones. I’m not exactly a neat freak, but I hate having to scrub down the workstation before I can do anything.

Another one is a young buck who is quite good at his job, but annoying as fuck. He eats several meals a day, obviously not on approved breaks. His food usually stinks, with lots of broccoli and fish. He often leaves leftovers in the fridge until they are weapons-grade, and the mere act of opening the door is enough to send a toxic cloud throughout the room that hovers for 30 minutes.

The worst part is that is a provocateur, saying things that just make you want to punch him. Today, as he sat down he mentioned that he didn’t have a pen. I jokingly pointed out that he’s said that every day this week. His response? ‘Normally you’re not very observant, but you are correct about that.’ Fuck you, douchenozzle, just fuck you ...

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/02/2018 at 17:20

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i had one.... but he got sacked the other day

dudes a mate of mine... but i wasnt happy when they dumped him on my shift (by his request apparantly)

outside of work hes a great dude... fun to have a beer with and shit

at work hes a pain in the arse that would much rather chat yer ears off about all his drama he brought along from home than pay attention to what hes doing... and he tends to be a smartass to teamleaders....

so yeah thats what got him sacked.... management will only tolerate mistakes to an extent or being a smartass if your good.. not both

Svend > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/02/2018 at 18:14

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Not so much colleagues as neighbours.

One neighbour asked me the other day if I could wash his car. I don’t usually have much to say to this neighbour other than hello.

Well I cleaned his car and afterwards he got talking and you know how conversations go off on tangents, well so did this one and got round to idiot flat earthers, turns out he is one and said (with a straight face) ‘well it’s why is it that I can hold a cup of water and it stays in the cup buy those in Australia can also, why doesn’t it fly up?’.

i said gravity and explained further, he said well that’s your opinion, I said no, it’s fact. He replied, we can all have theories, to which I said, no it’s fact, proven scientific fact. He said that he wasn’t a scientist so what does he know. To which I said, you don’t have to be a scientist (and then promptly said I had to go and have a drink).

Why, how are these people here. How did they get through school and life not knowing even the basics of life such as the earth being NOT FLAT!!!!

Alfalfa > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/02/2018 at 18:22

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We have one guy who does the least amount of work and is one of the dumbest kids I’ve ever known. He may legitimately have a double digit IQ. He simply cannot solve any problem by himself, always has to ask someone else for help. He can’t even read a tape measure. He seems to think he’s one of the most valuable employees, but he’s literally the laziest, least skilled, and most expendable person there. To top this all off, he thinks he is above cleaning the bathroom. We have like 15 employees, so we all just take turns as it’s needed. Oh, and did I mention he spends more time in there than anyone else?

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/02/2018 at 18:22

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* Take loud phone calls. Shush others when you are taking a call but scream your ass off across the hallway when others are on a call.

* Say “Well you’re here early today” as though to mean I usually come in late. Bitch YOU are early today, I am here before you everyday

* Turn up the thermostat to 78 in summer or turning it off. FUCK YOU. Guess who sits right next to it and hows to unlock the thermostat as well genius? (Admin locks it every day) Do you think I don’t see you “stealthily” trying to change it?

* Talk politics during work. Ugh. Shut. The. Fuck. Up you Fox news regurgitating mouth breather. You have lived a sheltered suburban life and know nothing outside your own zipcode. For the record I hate the other side talking politics shit as well.

* Blame the tool and the lack of training for your own stupidity when you have been trained every 3 months on this shit and stop saying “sorry im new here” as an excuse. you have been here 18 MONTHS!

Sorry had to rant. Thankfully this is just one or two people. Rest are friendly and professional.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Alfalfa 06/02/2018 at 18:40

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This reminds me of a walking freakshow at my previous job that we nicknamed ‘Tuggy’. Furious slapping noises in the stall several times a day. As you were approaching the restroom and someone was coming out you’d get the warning that Tuggy was in there, and you’d go to another floor or another building instead. Good exercise walking to another area, but kind of a waste of company time. Tuggy also had horrible personal hygiene, from the layers of plaque on his teeth to dirty, unkempt hair to the fact that he would never wash his hands after leaving the restroom. 28 years old and still living with his parents, and he didn’t plan on moving since he expected to inherit the house, but his parents are doing just fine, but I guess don’t know how to tell him to grow up and get a life.

The place would have been a tad more pleasant without him, but it was kind of hard to get rid of him since his mother was the executive VP of human resources...

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 06/02/2018 at 19:02

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We had something similar happen back in January. A very knowledgeable dispatcher, one from whom I learned quite a bit, was suddenly terminated one Wednesday evening. Even though he was talented and received solid reviews, his attitude was atrocious. Constant bad-mouthing of management and how incompetent they all were and how they didn’t deserve their jobs. Management, obviously, will only put up with that so long before you find yourself out on your ass, and when that happens when you’re in your mid fifties you don’t have a whole lot of options. I really do hope he’s doing OK, but I don’t want to contact him for fear of having to listen to bitching and complaining.

I used to think that this poster was somewhat funny but not very realistic, but it’s amazing what this technique can actually do to improve morale; it worked in our case.

Now I may not be a perfect employee, but I do think I have a few positive traits that will (probably) keep me employed. Except for the occasional complaints about co-workers, like in my original post today, I generally like who I work with; I keep the bitch sessions, which can be necessary and cathartic, away from the office as to not cross-contaminate, if you know what I mean. I like the customers as well, and I’m proud of the service we provide to those who are just trying to lead as normal a life as possible. I occasionally thank my boss and tell her that I am happy to work there. Although the job can be rather fast-paced at times, which is not exactly my specialty as I prefer to take time think about the issues and formulate solutions to problems in a more precise fashion, I think they recognize these talents and use them as necessary on other tasks not necessarily related to my dispatching function. Hopefully when a better position that can use these skills opens up they will move/promote me as necessary, but in the meantime I will go in and do my job to the best of my admittedly limited abilities.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/02/2018 at 19:24

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lol that pic is all too accurate

im keeping my job coz im good at it..... ive pissed off aproximately everyone since getting it

im not much of a human being.... but im very precise

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 06/02/2018 at 19:42

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As some of my co-workers found out, sometimes being damn good at your job isn’t enough to overcome the poison your attitude can bring.

(go to despair.com for more of these. They are incredibly good, but I’m not sure I’d actually want any in any workplace)

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/02/2018 at 21:15

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To quote Better Off Ted:

Ted, if there’s a morale problem, the company recommends you take the hardest-working employee and fire them.

That’ll scare the rest of the peasants back into the fields.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 06/03/2018 at 00:50

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true enough... thankfully im not really poisonous... just anti social

i get annoyed when colleagues talk at me too much and tell them to take a hike after a while