Depression is a terrible disease

"BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather" (bugeyedacura)
05/25/2018 at 21:55 • Filed to: None

It starts small. You think “oh I should call so and so and tell them the crazy thing that happened today”. Then you think “they have better thing to do with their life than here about my life”. Then you spiral. Then it becomes “people would probably be better off without me”. No I’m not suicidal, but damn if I’m not down in that deep dark hole tonight.

DISCUSSION (24)

Captain of the Enterprise > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 22:02

I’m sorry man, I’ve got it bad too. Your not alone. It’s hell for me. I hope you feel better soon.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 22:03

Lwt me know if you need to chat! Remember your a good person and we all like you!

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > Captain of the Enterprise
05/25/2018 at 22:04

Thanks man. Mine usually doesn’t get this bad but I’m exhausted and that always makes it worse.

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
05/25/2018 at 22:06

Thank you

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 22:09

Oh my God. This is exactly how I feel too. Oh my God dude. I’m..... speechless.

NKato > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 22:09

That shit is exactly why I drown myself in my hobbies. Writing, drawing (irregularly), working on my car, and video games.

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute
05/25/2018 at 22:09

Let me know if I can help. Maybe some commiseration is exactly what we both need.

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 22:16

Agreed.

wafflesnfalafel > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 22:17

I “punched out” of college freshman year, just couldn’t quite handle it... Now that I’m not young anymore, one of the most helpful things for me is to allow myself to feel sh!tty for a while - I don’t have to always be “on” or responsible. That and some big, loud music - it kinda pushes the bad junk out of my head - not exactly sure why but it seems to physically work for my brain at least.

Chariotoflove > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 22:18

See, and I’ve been cranky lately because I’ve been trying to adjust my SSRI so I don’t keep having the intolerable side effects. Point being, this stuff is hard, and being tired does really make it worse. Hang in there.

Frank Grimes > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 22:23

I am in that hole as well. socially isolated sucks. went to a freinds wedding reception and just sat there alone...but even if I knew anyone there I wouldnt have anything to talk about because my life is empty and i have nothing to talk about. somehow welding is very therapeutic. melting thick pieces of steel together forever feels good. kinda funny the comparison to how terrible weddings are but i dont know if it means anything.

Tripper > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 22:27

What works for me is constant distraction. Hobbies, exercise, work, research, and therapy. Exercise is what has helped me the most, closely followed by therapy. The other stuff is also very helpful, but when I’m in a real bad spot I can’t get motivated enough to work or get into a hobby. I can always force myself to go for a run.

scoob > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 22:33

me irl

E92M3 > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 22:36

I was depressed for a while after my divorce, but before long I started having ZERO free time. It’s exhausting, but I’m not depressed anymore. I think if people have too much time to go into deep thought, they can get depressed. At least every depressed person I’ve known seemed to have a lot of free time. Didn’t appear like they had much to do outside of work, no real hobbies they were passionate about.

Obviously there’s a lot of people, famous people with full schedules that have a lot of accomplishments and are still depresssed. Sometimes it’s just a chemical imbalance in the brain. Don’t be afraid to see a pyschiatrist for help.

ItalianJobR53 - now with added 'MERICA and unreliability > NKato
05/25/2018 at 23:08

Me too my man.

If I don’t keep myself busy, everything will go to shit.

Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 23:28

I feel you dude

Cash Rewards > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/25/2018 at 23:58

Ive been off the last couple days, which is the first time feeling this way since I went on antidepressants. I know it’s not gonna be perfect, but fuck. What the hell is in the air around here these days. Keep your head up, we’ll get through.

Tristan > E92M3
05/26/2018 at 00:25

I think there’s something to this... I used to battle with depression a lot in my early 20s. Now, in my mid-30s, I work my ass off, take college classes, tinker on my cars, care for my yard/house, and spend time with my wife and daughter. I have zero time to sit and let the thought spiral drag me down, and I’m a generally very happy and very exhausted person!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/26/2018 at 01:30

It’s gotten to the point where I just assume people forget I exist when I’m not around them and if they try to assure me otherwise I assume they’re lying to make me feel better.

You just have to remember that the same things are going through their heads as yours. We’re all human and fall prey to the same self doubt. They’re probably being distant because they think that you don’t need them in your life, exactly like how you’re feeling.

Pick up the phone. Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. The moment they start talking you’ll realize that you were wrong about how they regard you.

That’s what helps me get through it, anyways.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
05/26/2018 at 01:35

Failing that, if they actually are lying to make you feel better it’s a good thing. If they didn’t care about you, why would they lie to make you feel better?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/26/2018 at 01:36

DID SOMEONE SAY TERRIBLE BOUTS OF DEPRESSION?!?!??!?!

I’m not entirely unconvinced that I got a new job because this current one is causing my depression to act up. It’s a big improvement, but I nearly didn’t take it because I thought “I don’t deserve it...” and have been ifghting other demons lately. It’s hard to keep perspective on things and depression/anxiety moments make it really intense....

I’m around for a while tonight if you need a human to bounce ideas off of.

Future Heap Owner > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/26/2018 at 05:31

I know that spiral so well. I spent a good two and a half years in it myself. That part of your brain that tells you you’re no good, that people don’t like you? It’s lying. There are people telling you right on this post that it’s lying.

Its nastiest trick, though, is that if you start believing it a little bit and thinking that maybe people don’t want to hang out with you, then you start making it a self-fulfilling prophecy by not following up, not initiating things, and people will think you don’t like them and do the same. Then it can get really really hard to tell that it’s lying.

For me, the way that I believed in the truth that I wasn’t worthless strongly enough to stop listening to that voice was through therapy (CBT). If you’re not already going, and find yourself hearing this voice for weeks—especially if a lot of your nights are spent sitting around listening to it—I really, strongly urge you to look up a therapist or two and schedule initial appointments.

It can be real tough, but fortunately there’s plenty of people here for you, including me. If you ever want to talk, drop me a line at dlp@aperiodic.org

Captain of the Enterprise > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
05/26/2018 at 05:41

Your welcome, mine gets worse when I’m exhausted too.

JeepJeremy > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
08/09/2018 at 22:11

I’m there with ya too. My biggest thing is that I just get sick of ME. I can get away from everybody else but I’m stuck with ME all the time. I’m fucking bored with ME. Work is great. And I get to be Daddy to my little girls. But there’s all this time where I’m alone. And going out with my buddies is ok or with a mixed group. I’ve been trying to watch more movies. I’ll order them from the library and take requests from friends on Facebook and give shout outs to peeps or roast some other friend’s because of what they like. It’s a game. But the loneliness of the depression really sucks.