CL scammers, or how I wasted time while on conf calls (UPDATED)

Kinja'd!!! "MonkeePuzzle" (monkeypuzzle)
05/22/2018 at 16:10 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!17 Kinja'd!!! 19

I see an ad for a 2004 IS300 for $1203, that’s a STEAL!

Kinja'd!!!

an obvious scam, I knew it would be fun to see if I could get a human to respond, so I texted the local Colorado number. I was very polite.

Kinja'd!!!

boy! that went from 0-60 quick, and all over $3!

so I of course emailed. I was very polite.

Kinja'd!!!

but getting no immediate reply, I continued to text so perhaps I could get replies on two fronts to keep me amused

Kinja'd!!!

huh, odd, I think some human and bot replies are mixed in here

I get an email from them.

Kinja'd!!!

ooooh! we’re going the stolen valor route of convincing me!

which is, illegal:

Stolen_Valor_Act_of_2005

Stolen_Valor_Act_of_2013

but on closer inspection, the plates weren’t from Colorado, and the registration sticker was from 2014, and reverse image search revealed the pics were from a car site’s review of the car

so I emailed back

Kinja'd!!!

no reply, so I continued to text

Kinja'd!!!

that worked, and I got an immediate email. #CamryDent

Kinja'd!!!

I also go the same message via text message, split into TWELVE!!!! texts. which made my phone buzz for a good long minute, and they came in half sentence out of order chunks.

thankfully, when I buy the car, it will come with the car’s manual, which of course is an excellent way to prove ownership.

Anyway, it’s getting to the nitty gritty, and I don’t want to give more personal info than is already in my own CL ads (name, ph, email) so I had to go a different route.

Kinja'd!!!

this is a cunning ruse! I’ll let you in on a secret Oppo. I do not have a brother named Pete, and said fictional brother is not in the military.

it’s all falling apart now, again, radio silence from Staff General Marine Sergeant Private First Class Josephine Baker

Probably my last attempt at getting a human to reply instead of a bot

Kinja'd!!!

and now, my morning conf calls are over. I dont expect much joy to come from my $703 offer, but if they do, I’ll update

Update: so I got a bot reply, and some human replies.

Kinja'd!!!

I poked a little, and it just resulted in the automated reply, but THEN!

Kinja'd!!!

a human again “what camry?”

Kinja'd!!!

back to the autorobot reply. surely this is the end

nope.

Kinja'd!!!

and that my friends is how I bought a car!

Kinja'd!!!

whoops, I forgot some details. AND THEN THEY ACTUALLY CALLED ME! probably by accident, as it only rang twice, so I missed the call.

Kinja'd!!!

oh noes, that wasn’t a real address!? I think I’m losing him/her/bro

Kinja'd!!!

I REALLY hope there isn’t a Joseph out there actually falling for this

Kinja'd!!!

oops, I used Andrew in the emails, don’t worry, we can work with this still. I’ll just lie LOUDER!

Kinja'd!!!

bro is onto me! it WAS a camry :P But I’m sure we can drag bro back into the scam by giving him the even easier option of using mum’s credit card

Kinja'd!!!

and, at this point bro will throw that address into the magic scam machine and it will say no such address and...

oooookay, somehow that worked

Kinja'd!!!

so, I don’t have whatever communication bro is talking about from ebay (I did indeed check my spam/bulk folders), and I certainly am not going to mess with fake paypal accounts, so I went a different route, again.

I mean, I’d be confused as to how to proceed if I were the scammer. Will bro just swear at me again?

well lookie what finally showed up in my spam folder

Kinja'd!!!

the seller’s address is a real address, of someone, and theres a support phone number listed throughout several times.

I honestly did not expect this. I really don’t know what to do now.

So I persisted with my annoyance about the dent in the bumper of my new car

Kinja'd!!!

between saying I’d drop it off he called my. it was a brief conversation.

*ring ring*

me: yeah?

bro: hello, simon?

me: yeah

*click*

aww, dang. so I called the number on the ebay scam email. which is of course the final plan. apparently I buy ebay gift cards, then call that number and give them the details... maybe?

Same guy, or at least similarly strong accented guy answers

bro: this is george with ebay, how can I help you

(of course there’s no holding or anything)

me: with ebay?

bro: I work for ebay I assure you sir

me: I don’t believe you

*click*


DISCUSSION (19)


Kinja'd!!! Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 13:50

Kinja'd!!!8

not only did her price change but between the two emails she got demoted from Staff Sargent to Sargent


Kinja'd!!! PartyPooper2012 > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 13:51

Kinja'd!!!3

Staff General Marine Sergeant Private First Class Josephine Baker here. The price is firm at $1,202.99. I no what I got. No lo bowlers


Kinja'd!!! PartyPooper2012 > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 13:53

Kinja'd!!!2

Yes. I know Pete. Peter Nibbler is your brother? Good guy.


Kinja'd!!! MonkeePuzzle > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 14:17

Kinja'd!!!1

in case anyone is wondering, it is a very pretty car, Sarge shared all the pics with me

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!


Kinja'd!!! Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 14:33

Kinja'd!!!2

man that shift knob is a surefire palm burner


Kinja'd!!! MonkeePuzzle > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero
05/22/2018 at 14:33

Kinja'd!!!3

Kinja'd!!!


Kinja'd!!! MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > PartyPooper2012
05/22/2018 at 15:43

Kinja'd!!!0

Must present bowling score card of 180 or higher to buy


Kinja'd!!! MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero
05/22/2018 at 15:48

Kinja'd!!!4

That’s why she can’t budge on price! That pay cut, doing some rounding here, Marine pay is: Sargent 27-39k a year and Staff Sargent 30-46k. We’ll assume mid-level Staff Sarge making low to mid 30s. Getting demoted is going to drop you like a rock to the bottom of that Sarge pay-range. I think we can then deduce they’ve lost $6-8,000 a year!


Kinja'd!!! Tapas > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 16:02

Kinja'd!!!13

I just wanted to say...I’ve been unemployed for 5 months and I have not been productive enough to bait a craigslist scammer.

A+ for your work!


Kinja'd!!! MonkeePuzzle > Tapas
05/22/2018 at 16:13

Kinja'd!!!1

I’ve tried to bait many, but so few actually reply, or get past the stage where it’s just automated robots


Kinja'd!!! vondon302 > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 16:29

Kinja'd!!!1

That was great!


Kinja'd!!! foghat1981 > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 16:30

Kinja'd!!!3

“I can probably get the extra $3 if that’s the issue here” got a legitimate LOL from me.  Well done


Kinja'd!!! HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 16:33

Kinja'd!!!1

youre a god


Kinja'd!!! Otto-the-Croatian-'Whoops my Volvo is a sedan' > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 16:36

Kinja'd!!!2

Bro, this is fantastic, good work!

I love the Camry dent easter egg!


Kinja'd!!! Under_Score > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 16:42

Kinja'd!!!1

I think the pr0blem here is that you trusted a car on a website that looks like it was designed in Nigeria in 2004. If you went through an actual dealer, you probably wouldn’t deal with this type of crap.


Kinja'd!!! Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 17:18

Kinja'd!!!0

you know its legit when they ask for 6 200 dollar giftcards


Kinja'd!!! BaconSandwich is tasty. > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 20:02

Kinja'd!!!3

Oh man. Now you’ve given me a terrible idea. A bot to respond to bots. Surely it can’t be that hard to throw something together...


Kinja'd!!! Tapas > MonkeePuzzle
05/22/2018 at 20:33

Kinja'd!!!0

Just respond in broken english saying “This very good deal. I want car. How send moneys?”

And you’ll get a human right away lol


Kinja'd!!! MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > MonkeePuzzle
05/23/2018 at 14:04

Kinja'd!!!0

James Veitch level of trolling here. This has been great to follow. Since you have a “real” address and a working phone number, nows a great time for that FBI report. These guys are hard to catch, I’m surprised they answered/called.