Drunk Reviews: Rental VW Beetle Turbo

Kinja'd!!! "cooterbaldwin" (cooterbaldwin)
05/09/2018 at 20:25 • Filed to: VW, Turbo, drunk

Kinja'd!!!1 Kinja'd!!! 4

First let me say I wasn’t drunk when I was driving. I’m only drunk while I’m writing this review.

Pros:

Looks good, at least in metallic greenish blue

Whatever the hell displacement TSI it has is one sweetheart of an engine

Automatic transmission isn’t too bad

Cons:

The trunk doesn’t open. I press the trunk button on the key fob, the taillights flash, the trunk remains resolutely unopenable

It tells you to do things without explaining how to do them. I get to the Publix up the street and stop off for some tequila and jelly beans. I get out of the car and it starts beeping and the dash says “Turn off light!” What light? The dome/map lights aren’t on. The headlights don’t seem to be on. What God damned light?

Interior is full of cheap ass plastic - this thing makes the Mazda 3 I just bought feel like a God damned Bentley

Overall it’s not bad. As far as a compact rental goes I could have done much, much worse. The little ?.? TSI combined with a fairly aggressive automatic is a hoot. If it had a trunk that opened and an interior made with something other than late 80's vintage GM shit plastic it would be a pretty damn good car.


DISCUSSION (4)


Kinja'd!!! jkm7680 > cooterbaldwin
05/09/2018 at 20:43

Kinja'd!!!1

You are way too coherent for a drunk person.

If I was drunk and writing a car review, you would not be able to understand half of it or more.


Kinja'd!!! arl > cooterbaldwin
05/09/2018 at 20:51

Kinja'd!!!1

Tequila and jelly beans. Yea sir, you are doing it right!

Also, good drunk review.


Kinja'd!!! Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle > cooterbaldwin
05/09/2018 at 21:12

Kinja'd!!!2

open the trunk with the vw badge, it’s a latch/handle


Kinja'd!!! dropthatclutch > cooterbaldwin
05/09/2018 at 22:54

Kinja'd!!!0

You can write drunk, but always edit sober.