"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
05/03/2018 at 10:22 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire
15
3|
"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
05/03/2018 at 10:22 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire | 15
| 3 |
Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! You daily – or sometimes monthly, fortnightly, biannual, biennial, or semi-monthly update, depending on how busy I am each morning.
1 st Wipe : The Jeep Wrangler almost outsold the Toyota Camry in April, as both vied for the coveted “Middle Aged Dad Still Deciding Between Growing Up and Holding On” demographic.
2 nd Wipe : Trump meeting with carmakers to discuss fuel economy. In other words, Trump meeting completely unprepared and ill-informed to tell automakers what he wants them to do, only to have them ignore it all and continue their lobbying.
3 rd Wipe : GM offering loans to South Korean unit to help maintain viability. In a weird sense, GM is only in this financial position because of US taxpayer loans, so I guess we can all go to South Korea with baseball bats when payments are due.
4 th Wipe : Your dashboard’s main support is made of highly flammable magnesium. So naturally the factory that builds them now looks like a Hamas encampment after an anti-Israel tweet.
5 th Wipe : In today’s “News from 1999,” colored brake calipers are gaining in popularity. Still no word on bodymatched drums for your Cavalier.
Splashback : Akio Toyoda was born today in 1956, joined the family company in 1984, and his career just accelerated rapidly and unexpectedly from there.
Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
> Ash78, voting early and often
05/03/2018 at 10:28 |
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“accelerated rapidly and unexpectedly from there.”
hah.
punkgoose17
> Ash78, voting early and often
05/03/2018 at 10:35 |
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Damn, I want to color match my brake drums to be a troll, but that will likely hurt heat dissipation.
LongbowMkII
> Ash78, voting early and often
05/03/2018 at 11:04 |
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4th wipe is brutal. I’m going to hell.