How do I get rid of a pushy/clingy person?

"marshknute" (marshknute) 04/29/2018 at 13:25 • Filed to: None

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I was too polite and made the mistake of being friendly to someone at an event. Now I just want him to leave me alone and fuck off. Gemballa Mirage GT for your time.

Anyway, he came off as well-meaning and friendly, but not someone I’d want to be friends with. I humored him and chatted when he wouldn’t leave me alone. Fortunately, the event ended and we finally parted ways and I never saw him again...until a year later at another event. Fuck me.

He approached me again, and I tried to be cold and dismissive so he’d take a hint. Nope. Instead, he’s become annoying and clingy. He’s texting nonstop (despite complete radio silence from my end), and he’s offering to drive 90 minutes to my area so we could hang out (despite me never discussing meeting up again in the future).

Dude, fuck off. I’ve read one too many !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! stories on Reddit, and I’m not planning on submitting my own.

I’m probably just going to block his number and be done with it, but that seems pretty immature and I feel like I at least owe him an explanation. Plus it would make it awkward AF if I ever bump into him at another event (which I probably will). But at least he’d get the hint.

So what say you, Oppo?

Maxima Speed > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 13:33

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Block his number. Its not childish. People aren’t honest enough these days, instead they hide behind a facade of friendliness and decorum. Society expects us to act like we just love to get along with everybody, but. The truth is that some peoples personalities are incompatible. This is ok and the more people realize it, the better off we would all be, so yeah, block him. If you see him again, just tell be brutally honest, if he’s an adult he’ll take it your criticism and think on it.

12and35 > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 13:34

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Honesty is the best policy. Just tell him how you feel.

smobgirl > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 13:38

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I’m torn about blocking the number, because sometimes you need evidence for a restraining order. But as long as you don’t think there’s any other way he can track you down, not a terrible plan of action.

DutchieDC2R > Maxima Speed 04/29/2018 at 13:40

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Youre talking about honesty but youre advizing him to block the dude without confronting him? Sounds off...

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 13:41

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I hate doing it but sometimes you just need to tell someone to fuck off.

DutchieDC2R > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 13:42

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I’d just tell him how I feel. That i have enough friends, that I dont need any more, thank him for his kindness and wish him well. If he keeps butting in, be more direct in your wording.

marshknute > DutchieDC2R 04/29/2018 at 13:44

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This makes too much sense, and I wish I could be so naturally diplomatic with people!

Teh Penguin of Doom > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 13:45

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Really need more details, like what he says/does when he contacts. And whether he seems to be romantically interested in you? (No idea what your gender or orientation is.)

Claim you have some new big commitment in your life — a relationship, a kid, a job — and are focusing totally on that and are overwhelmed by that and “I’m sorry, but I can’t keep up with any new social contacts.” If that doesn’t work, step it up with “Please let me focus on [thing] and don’t contact me anymore. Thanks.”

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 13:45

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politely tell him to fuck off.... i suggest sending a message saying.... oi cunt fuck off...

(but seriously....be blunt or he wont take the hint)

(my well meaning polite pain in the arse was writing me 10 page letters before i told him to fuck off and leave me alone)

(shit.. just membered... gotta gif all my shit)

Flynorcal: pilot, offshore sailor, car racer and panty thief > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 13:57

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I’m gonna give you a bit of tough love.

You need to become more comfortable with yourself.

There are people out there you will not like. It is not because you’re a bad person. There are people out there who will take offense and then not like you. You need to become comfortable with not being liked. You need to be comfortable with not giving a fuck.

This person almost certainly knows you don’t like them and they’re deliberately trying to manipulate you.

Stop helping them. I guarantee you you’re spending a lot more energy worrying about their feelings than they are worrying about you.

Block their number and move on. When you cross paths later it’s unlikely they’ll come running over to annoy you yet again and if they do just leave if you have to. There’s zero need for a confrontation.

Go give Who’s The Mack from Ice Cube a close listen. Put that shit on repeat of need be. You’re being hustled because you’re allowing them to make you guilty. Don’t let other people trick you into being true to anybody but yourself and you won’t have these kinds of problems.

Sorry for the tough love but it’s coming from the heart.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 14:05

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I would ignore him. Worst case just be rude. If it gets to the point of him texting you every 10 seconds while taking a dump, “please leave me alone” has to be used.

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 14:31

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While that is the approach I always say I’m going to take, I almost always end up going with either full on radio silence or, more often, pretty quickly telling them to get right to fucking off. From my experience, the ways I usually go about it are not the best ways to handle it, but I don’t actually care (which is probably why it turns out the way it does).

Maxima Speed > DutchieDC2R 04/29/2018 at 14:47

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You got a point but doesn’t blocking him kinda get a point across with out being confrontational?

Maxima Speed > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 04/29/2018 at 14:51

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Some times I wish I had a British accent (not particular about region) just so I could say stuff like this. :P

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Maxima Speed 04/29/2018 at 14:57

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lol.... it is fun

*fuckin wanker might be the most used phrase in my book*

Montalvo > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 15:27

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He doesn’t work for a cable company does he?

Montalvo > Maxima Speed 04/29/2018 at 15:33

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I don’t think so, it’s kinda just like slamming a door in someone’s face. Some people can easily handle that and others can take it as a real offense. I would at the very least say that I have too much going on in my life at the moment and don’t have room for anything else to divert my attention.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 15:48

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I’ve had a similar situation and the ignoring didn’t work well I had to eventually respond and express very clearly my disinterest. VERY CLEARLY express that I did not want to associate with this person in any way.

Funktheduck > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 15:55

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I had to block someone’s number once. Then she kept messaging me on FB. I interviewed her as a potential hire and decided she would be terrible. Told her the position was filled. She’d then text/email me every couple months. Called too. She then started her own competing business and asked for me to send people her way. She failed. And then asked me to hire her. I told her I don’t hire competitors. Haven’t heard from her since. Did see posts shared to me about how awful she was when other people hired her. Felt satisfied that my gut feeling worked out but bad for the people she screwed over.

Tapas > marshknute 04/29/2018 at 16:27

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I’ve been on both ends of this situation a while back. Unfortunately, I’m also non confrontational.

I’d suggest telling him

A. New phone, who dis?

B. I’m moving to another state because I’ve found a new job.

C. My mom said not to talk to you. j/k

D. Block his number.

E. Tell him the truth.

I’m not clingy anymore (or at least, I think so) and have become more perceptible to how people respond to my messages, so I can gauge their interest in me. You can suggest this exact thing to him.