This buyer wanted a bigly big garage with some bedrooms attached.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 03/27/2018 at 20:45 • Filed to: Yuuuuuge

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And by God, that’s what they gave him.

Must be nice!

DanZman > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 20:46

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Dream house

WilliamsSW > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 20:47

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Is there a house too or nah?

lone_liberal > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 20:54

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The four-car garage I was hoping for went contingent yesterday. The dream is dead.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 20:55

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Yes but why so ugly? It’s like yearning for that dream supercar for years and buying the one that looks like a smashed crab because it had the right leather seats...

benjrblant > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 20:58

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Please tell me it has radiant heat in the floors. Having “space” is so last-years’-peasant-level.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > WilliamsSW 03/27/2018 at 20:59

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Yeah some giant whatever rambler is attached but GARAGE!!

Quadradeuce > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 20:59

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That honestly looks like one of the upscale office/warehouse units they build in the small business parks around here. Not a house.

The Snowman > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 21:02

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Its hideously amazing.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 03/27/2018 at 21:03

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Looks aren’t everything!

[Stares at mirror]

[Goes blind]

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > lone_liberal 03/27/2018 at 21:04

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I wish you better luck than I. We got outbid on an incredible home and have found jack shit squat since then.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > The Snowman 03/27/2018 at 21:04

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Correct.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > benjrblant 03/27/2018 at 21:06

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Not sure. I’m just a door-to-door dildo salesman. Not sure how I keep ending up at these new construction sites though 

WilliamsSW > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 21:11

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Hey as long as there’s a couple of bedrooms, a shower, and a kitchen back there, I’m good.

benjrblant > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 21:13

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So that’s why you drive a Taco.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > benjrblant 03/27/2018 at 21:15

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What you did there

I SEENT it

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Quadradeuce 03/27/2018 at 21:16

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It’s definitely function over form. Because... Well just look at it.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 21:18

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I’m shopping right now, and my two main requirements are a two-car garage and a decent basement. Everything else is pretty much optional. Why yes, I am single - how did you know?

I kinda miss my ex’s old place. It started as a 3 BR with a detached two-car garage on a corner lot, but after modifications it was a 2 bedroom with a four-car garage (and a big family room between the house and the garage). Too bad it was in such a shitty neighborhood.

MM54 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 21:24

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Kind of jealous, but I’d have considered styling it, well, at all.

fintail > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 03/27/2018 at 21:25

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That’s what passes for architecture in the PNW.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > MM54 03/27/2018 at 21:26

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Can’t spell “style” without “y.” As in, “Why are you so bad at designing?”

functionoverfashion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 21:29

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This guy sees your garage with house attached, and RAISES YOU.

The view is a little weird, but that’s:

-2 bays under

- 1 full bay + 1 double bay over

- at least one double bay and one single, maybe double, on main house

- sweet bridge between, because who can be bothered to go outdoors to get to a ginormous detached garage

- many solar panels because why not

- oh, by the way this is across the street from a lake

About the only thing I can say is, you think you’re cool with your big giant house until your neighbor just across the street has what looks like a giant

lake house with a giant multi-car garage ALSO, and his house is right on the water. With a boathouse, boats, beach, oh yes. And his grass is literally greener.

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 21:32

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Can you think of a good way to style in a 12 car garage, or is it just too big to design around.

For Sweden > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 21:37

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gib

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches 03/27/2018 at 21:45

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Sure. I’d do 4 separate bays, 3 cars deep. But it would have to look detached at that point for me.

sony1492 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 22:09

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Is it bad that my dream home is basically this but prefab metal and deeper?

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 22:17

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I’m assuming they have a motorhome?

lone_liberal > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 22:20

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We’ll need it. I don’t think this housing market has ever been this tight. There’s not much inventory out there.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 03/27/2018 at 22:24

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I should hope so.

shop-teacher > WilliamsSW 03/27/2018 at 22:25

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Don’t forget a shitter!

shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 22:33

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If I had a garage that big, I could deal with the fact that it was so ugly.

WilliamsSW > shop-teacher 03/27/2018 at 22:34

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O yea, that’s pretty important!

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 22:38

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There’s a house near me which has one of these doors for the ower’s mammoth tailgating RV. It doesn’t do any favors the house, which already looks like some sort of ugly commercial building:

https://www.google.com/maps/@41.2629564,-96.0621114,3a,15y,236.21h,94.41t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sDJd8g06WJe7GIT_vuNCePg!2e0!7i13312!8i6656

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 23:00

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Black trim and window surrounds would go a long way towards de-uglying the place.

But what do I know. I’m not the one with covered space for 6+ cars :(

Nom De Plume > V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches 03/27/2018 at 23:49

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Classic mansion carpool design.

Just go rent Sabrina with Audrey Hepburn and skip all the parts that don’t have the garage with an apartment over it.

E92M3 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/27/2018 at 23:56

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This is perfect!

Buy a motorhome, live in it while at home AND away from home.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > E92M3 03/27/2018 at 23:59

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With the money you save by not paying to live in a home, you could afford a home! It’s like printing money!

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/28/2018 at 03:47

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yea that would be nice to have

dsigned001 - O.R.C. hunter > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/28/2018 at 07:22

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See, I want something more akin to a barn: double height and double width door. A motor pool, if you will.

TahoeSTi > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/28/2018 at 10:57

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This looks like the right number of garages.

Eury - AFRICA TWIN!!!!!!! > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/28/2018 at 11:18

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Magnificent bastard.

BlurpleToyotaDishwasher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/28/2018 at 13:08

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Is that a quote? I read it entirely in character.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > BlurpleToyotaDishwasher 03/28/2018 at 14:52

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No, it’s an old inside joke between my wife and I. We always offer to quit our jobs and hire each other as personal assistants (“You pay me, I pay you... It’s like printing money!”)

RPM esq. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/28/2018 at 18:31

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I’d love a big garage, but I’d rather have a house that looks more like a house than a self-storage place.

Also, what kind of plebeian dotard pays to build a 5-car garage including an RV stall and doesn’t make it a detached carriage house?

bubblestheturtle > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/28/2018 at 22:28

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I only live in one room. But I need more cars. Love the concept, but the execution could use help.