"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
03/19/2018 at 10:28 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire
15
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"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
03/19/2018 at 10:28 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire | 15
| 10 |
Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! Brevity is the something something.
1 st Wipe : If you crash your Kia Forte, you might die. Well, more so than usual, thanks to airbags that fail to inflate.
2 nd Wipe : The VW Diesel fixes might actually result in other premature wear & tear and failures, due to a condition known as “being a Volkswagen.”
3 rd Wipe : The key to Lotus’s future success is apparently to complicate and add heaviness with an SUV.
4 th Wipe : Indian competitor to Uber launches in Australia, promising better pay. Drivers immediately go on strike with Uber…for better pay.
5 th Wipe : Mercedes dealers pushing for a monthly car-swapping subscription service like Cadillac. Just visit the dealer once a month and drop your keys in the basket. They’ll arrange the rest.
Flush : John DeLorean died today in 1985; his ashes were sold for $300 a gram.
Wheelerguy
> Ash78, voting early and often
03/19/2018 at 10:34 |
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YO GUYS DID YA WATCH MOTOGP YESTERDAY IT WAS 100% GODLY MAN I WAS ON MY KNEES
WilliamsSW
> Ash78, voting early and often
03/19/2018 at 10:34 |
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Airbags that don’t inflate >> airbags that fire shrapnel into my face
Spanfeller is a twat
> Ash78, voting early and often
03/19/2018 at 10:36 |
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Te Delorean one was gold. Or should I say blow?
KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
> WilliamsSW
03/19/2018 at 10:36 |
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Win,win!
BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo
> Ash78, voting early and often
03/19/2018 at 10:37 |
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First, second, and flush.
Beautiful.
bob and john
> Wheelerguy
03/19/2018 at 10:41 |
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it was good. it was REALLY good.
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WilliamsSW
> KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
03/19/2018 at 10:41 |
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Now that’s a real Bro!
Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
> Ash78, voting early and often
03/19/2018 at 10:50 |
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1st Gear: You’re driving a Kia... the death is an act of mercy.
3rd Gear: Which is exactly what consumers these days want.
4th Gear: The sharing economy is often bullshit. Definitely the “taxi service pretending to be ride sharing” thing is complete bullshit most of the time. The only real benefit it provides is in rural or semi rural areas with limited to no public transit and few taxis.
Flush: And those ashes were consumed at one hell of a party... with lots of sex, booze and other stuff.
BeaterGT
> Wheelerguy
03/19/2018 at 10:51 |
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Even my family sat and watched it with me. Strange times...
Tapas
> Ash78, voting early and often
03/19/2018 at 12:15 |
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Might I suggest highlighting the impact some stories have by adding -
1. A “pre flush” to cover shit that’s been going on for a long time.
2. A “5th wipe, blood found” or “splash back” or “kissed by Poseidon” for a bad story.
What do you think?!