My stupid headlamp washers love to waste washer fluid

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
03/08/2018 at 15:30 • Filed to: None

My 335xi has headlamp washers that activate along with the windshield sprayers when the headlamps are on. Even though my washer fluid reservoir holds over a gallon, I still have to refill the damn thing way too often.

The headlamp washers don’t activate every time I spray the windshield with the lights on. They do spray the first time you spray the windshield after starting the car, if the lights are on, or the first time you spray after turning the lights on (or letting the auto lights turn themselves on).

The thing is, in winter time, both my drive to and from work often happen when it’s dark enough out that the auto headlamps turn on. And since I have a 1-car garage at my house, my car is parked outside overnight half the time, and my job has no covered parking. After work, I stop in at home, then go to the gym and head home.

A lot of these times, if there’s some precipitation happening, random bits of ice or other crud forms on my windshield where it could use a spray. I spray my windshield after starting the car up, in the dark, a lot. But the headlamps don’t need to be friggin washed every damn time I try to clear a little ice or slush from my field of view, and as you can see in the video, the headlamp washers do a double pump fake and spray the lights twice every time.

All through winter, inevitably my car starts dinging at me again to fill the washer fluid and makes me think, “wait, didn’t I just fill that with a whole gallon jug like 3 weeks ago?”

At least it’s not as annoying as the stupid “HEY DID YOU KNOW IT’S 37°F OR COLDER” frost warning dinger that dings at me every single time I start my car from November through March.

Winter is almost over, but apparently you can just pull the fuse for the headlamp washers and not have them do their spray double pump fake spray routine. I might still do that, right after I go buy another gallon (or three) of washer fluid.

DISCUSSION (23)

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 15:33

Interesting that this video shows both going up at the same time. E90 M3 said his goes up one at a time because BMW.

Textured Soy Protein > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
03/08/2018 at 15:35

As far as I know mine move up and down together but I’ve never actually checked.

Klaus Schmoll > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
03/08/2018 at 15:40

Mine spray one at a time, so as to not leave you blind for a second at night.

Textured Soy Protein > Klaus Schmoll
03/08/2018 at 15:41

Is your E60 a pre-LCI? Both my E92 and the one in the video are LCI.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 15:42

“HEY DID YOU KNOW IT’S 37°F OR COLDER”- God I HATED that in my old E90. And the caveat from the manual is hilarious

Kinja'd!!!

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Klaus Schmoll
03/08/2018 at 15:42

I was pretty sure this was the case with the E9x. Hmm. Mine spray at the same time on the ISF but not in a way that leave you blind. Just enough to make you laugh.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 15:44

my cobalt has that stupid “ICE POSSIBLE” warning on the dash too whenever its below freezing

Textured Soy Protein > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
03/08/2018 at 15:46

I even asked my coding guy if he could get rid of it and he said it can’t be coded out. Apparently you can disable it at startup but not the cycle for if it drops while driving. So you end up getting randomly dinged at after driving for a while instead of right when starting the car.

LOREM IPSUM > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 15:47

If it is anything like the older ones, there are 2 pumps. One for the windshield, the other for the lights. Unplugging the one for the lights will eliminate this issue, though with a little more effort one could add a relay and manual switch inside the cabin to re-enable the function or even to simply spray on demand.

Pretty sure it can be addressed via coding as well, but you’ve gotta find someone who knows what they’re doing, and more than likely pay them.

Matt Nichelson > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 15:50

That’s why I am glad mine doesn’t have them, though it does irk me that there are covers for them if they were there. Also the stupid bong can sod off. Oh it’s cold out? I would have never known! Ugh.

LJ909 > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 15:54

German engineering and annoyance at its best. And there’s no way to separately spray the washers for the lights and the windshield?

Sovande > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 16:00

I hated that feature on my Volvo. All it managed to do was spray the hood with fluid. I quickly pulled the fuse.

Textured Soy Protein > LJ909
03/08/2018 at 16:01

There’s no separate headlight sprayer switch. The only way to activate them is to spray the windshield with the headlights on, and it only happens the first time you do that, and maybe at some interval afterwards. I’ve never been on a long enough drive with the headlights on and frequent enough windshield spraying to determine what that interval might be.

Textured Soy Protein > Matt Nichelson
03/08/2018 at 16:03

My car has the adaptive cruise control idiot lights, or at least the cutouts for them, even though it doesn’t have adaptive cruise. BMW didn’t offer adaptive cruise on the E92 M Sport. I guess they didn’t want to make different gauge clusters.

merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 16:05

Yup, pulled the fuse on mine. Audi does it only if it’s below 40 degrees and headlights on. Wastes a bunch of fluid. But not anymore ;)

facw > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 16:07

My headlight washers don’t work at all. The dealer who sold it to me replaced one of the washer covers (it was missing in the pictures from when the car was traded in). I’m hoping he just pulled the fuse for them or something to make sure it wouldn’t come off again, need to look into that. Not the end of the world if I can’t get them working, but I’d rather have them work than not (unless they launch the cover every time they’re used).

LJ909 > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 16:20

Thats just too much. I would just pull the fuse if I were you. Those things of washer fluid will add up quick.

404 - User No Longer Available > Matt Nichelson
03/08/2018 at 16:20

Also the stupid bong can sod off. Oh it’s cold out? I would have never known! Ugh.

What I REALLY hate is that they used the “warning” chime instead of the “information/seatbelt” chime, making “outside temperature under 3C” sound like “a high pressure fuel pump failed”.

You’d think they have a bit more common sense than that when they made that whole marketing piece about how BMW pays attention to make chimes sounding nice.

Matt Nichelson > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 17:39

Interesting. That sounds about right. Cost cutting knows no boundaries I suppose.

Matt Nichelson > 404 - User No Longer Available
03/08/2018 at 17:41

Omg I completely agree. You hear it and your first thought is ‘shit, what’s wrong?!’ and then you glance down and see it’s just reminding you of something you already knew. BMW is trolling us.

razorbeamteam > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 18:45

When I had the front bumper replaced on my A4, the body shop had a hellava time finding one with the cutouts for the squirters. They couldn’t get the passenger side one to ever work right, so they (at my instruction) filled the nozzles with epoxy on that side. Now when my headlight washers go its an extreme blast on just the driver’s side only.

Also, when the tank in my car is like 0.9 gallons, meaning I have to carry around the bottle with a little bit left until I’ve used enough to pour the rest in.

E90M3 > Textured Soy Protein
03/08/2018 at 19:50

Both my LCI E90 and pre-LCI E92 do it one at a time.

Klaus Schmoll > Textured Soy Protein
03/09/2018 at 09:38

It’s an LCI.