You're a teacher. What're you gonna pack?

"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura) 02/24/2018 at 14:39 • Filed to: None

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Azrek > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 15:01

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AestheticsInMotion > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 15:04

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I’ve come up with a foolproof system where each classroom has a dedicated arms specialist and purchasing agent who will work in conjunction with the class to come up with the best possible lineup of defensive weapons in order to SAFELY handle any and all classroom combat scenarios commonly found at our public schools. With six available guns that can be mix-and-matched to suit a variety of purposes, it’s all but assured that CRIMINALS will no longer have the edge. In addition to the standard weapons allotment, a grenade rack will be included in the base package, as well as a toxic gas distribution starter kit with 10 face masks (additional face masks available for an added fee). Specialty weapons such as but not limited to: propelled grenade launchers, flashbangs, smoke cannisters, hard mounted weapons platforms, razor wire spools, proximity mines, and air strikes are included in this deal and will be sent via Amazon 2 day shipping (additional fee for prime membership) upon request. Use coupon code: “GOODGUYWITHAGUN” to receive a 15% coupon to be used with your next order!

Teacher:

Or (duel-wield)

Teachers assistant:

Or

Students:

Or

WilliamsSW > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 15:07

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Ham sandwich on rye, yellow Mustard and cheddar. Baked Lays plain chips, some carrot sticks, and an oatmeal raisin cookie

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 15:10

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boxrocket > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 15:10

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TASERs.

They’re short-range, non-lethal, small-ish, and less-traumatic of the kids witness something. Plus then the suspect can be taken alive (although possibly/probably beaten) to face legal justice. Also, actual TASERs that shoot the prongs and wires, not to be confused with a stun gun which just has stationary prongs that arc electricity.

Idealistic, sure, but it’s a solution.

SmugAardvark > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 15:26

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A few blasts of plasma from the BFG 9000, and classroom disruptions will be a thing of the past (as will the classroom itself). If it’s good enough for Doomguy, it’s good enough for a teacher.

f86sabre > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 15:26

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You people are looking at this all wrong. This is the answer. It’s armored so the students are protected, well armed for when you need to go on the offensive and mobile for field trips to the nature preserve or art museum. Only issue is you would only be able to get 10-12 grade schoolers in it, so you would have to shrink class sizes and the government would never find that.

Tekamul > boxrocket 02/24/2018 at 15:30

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TASERs are less lethal, not non lethal. I’d say ask a friend of a friend of mine, but the cops killed him with a TASER in 2012 after he had delusions from new epilepsy medication.

Tekamul > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 15:30

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Luggage

boxrocket > Tekamul 02/24/2018 at 15:37

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You’re quite right. Thanks for the correction.

I guess I meant to say “typically non-lethal” or “designed to be less-lethal”.

Svend > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 15:41

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Well first, your American so some areas won’t want to be out gunned by a British armed police officer.

I mean the British police are seen as always being un-armed so you wouldn’t want to look less armed than they are.

So for day to day stuff, dress down day.

Something casual with short sleeves.

When it starts going a ‘bit wrong day’.

For more formal wear when black clothing is called for.

When things really start going wrong.

When you need transport around campus.

Yes our police are routinely un-armed but hat’s not to say they never are or that there aren’t any.

Notice how non are wearing military camouflage. Just saying.

scoob > Svend 02/24/2018 at 15:48

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Your “a bit wrong day” is our “Monday”

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Tekamul 02/24/2018 at 15:48

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I’m sorry to hear about your friend - my condolences. As someone with epilepsy who has had adverse reactions to different medications, this scares the crap out of me. Thankfully I’ve been seizure free for over a decade now, without medication, but I always worry that I may revert back to having seizures as I age. Thankfully they were relatively minor, meaning I never lost consciousness or clarity/coherence, but still...

DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time > boxrocket 02/24/2018 at 15:52

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Fuck that. You decide to shoot up a school you waive anyone worrying about your safety and life.

I’d take a 9mm, because it matters more where you get shot rather than what you get shot with (at least for small arms) so less recoil of 9mm = more shots on person.

That being said, taser you only get one shot and you have limited range, so you better make it count.

sony1492 > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 16:03

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PB&J

My bird IS the word > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 16:09

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serbu super shorty. ton of firepower in a package I can have on my person. Shotgun so I don’t have to worry about missing with a handgun. Zero chance of not having it on me.

My bird IS the word > Svend 02/24/2018 at 16:10

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I like British police uniforms. look sharp.

Svend > My bird IS the word 02/24/2018 at 16:35

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British police uniform is often more casual with the introduction of black or blue Polo shirts.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > AestheticsInMotion 02/24/2018 at 16:53

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But what if the assailant shows up with an M1 Abrams tank? Or how about an Apache Gunship. I think every classroom needs a dedicated Stinger missile launcher.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > f86sabre 02/24/2018 at 16:55

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How would you be able to hear anything while it’s operating though? Pretty sure it gets quite noisy in there

AestheticsInMotion > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 02/24/2018 at 17:35

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The stage two package includes an assortment of heavy weaponry, as well as the “thoughts & prayers” wireless signal button that broadcasts to every church and politician within a 100 mile range.

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 17:36

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Travel sized liquor bottles.

Die-Trying > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 17:58

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mare’s leg, in .45

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > AestheticsInMotion 02/24/2018 at 19:00

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Damn that would hit A LOT of churches in a Southern school. Or a DC school for all of the politicians.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 19:44

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Can I take my Mustang inside the building? If not, I’ll gladly take a phaser.

Mercedes Streeter > AestheticsInMotion 02/24/2018 at 19:59

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Dual wielding sounds fun! Twice the chance to kill...someone!

AestheticsInMotion > Mercedes Streeter 02/24/2018 at 20:14

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We call it the “spray and pray”. Because if a good guy with a gun beats a bad guy with a gun... Then a good guy with TWO guns will have the dirty perp down on his knees begging for Jesus! Amen. In addition, our tier 3 program brings an auto target lock and improved trigger response to ALL weapons. This can be set to “LIBTARDS”, “ETHNICS”, “EVOLUTIONISTS”, “GOVERNMENT UPRISING”, and lastly, “VARMINTS”. It’s a comprehensive system designed to make sure you have the BEST possible chance of taking out the DANGEROUS targets trying to take your life/jobs/rights/taxes/etc. Both our lobbying and R&D branches are hard at work trying to bring YOU, the AMERICAN CITIZEN, the safety you deserve.

AestheticsInMotion > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 02/24/2018 at 20:17

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It’s a powerful system. The “thoughts and prayers” beacon has been proven to be [redacted by the NRA]% effective at deterring and preventing violent conflict in ALL venues where it has been installed. I repeat, there has never been a violent attack in a location that also had our “thoughts and prayers” beacon.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > WilliamsSW 02/24/2018 at 20:39

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Baked Lays? Ew. Pre-masticated, re-baked potato-ish substance.

Make that sandwich a pastrami rueben and I’ll join you for lunch.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > boxrocket 02/24/2018 at 20:40

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No, not for use against the students, for use against an ACTIVE SHOOTER.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > SmugAardvark 02/24/2018 at 20:42

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That might work.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > f86sabre 02/24/2018 at 20:43

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I think the old-fashioned M113 would be adequate.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > My bird IS the word 02/24/2018 at 20:45

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But you’d wanna use a slug because scatter.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Shamoononon drives like a farmer 02/24/2018 at 20:46

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The kids already have those.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Die-Trying 02/24/2018 at 20:47

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I’d be inclined toward .357 mag since that’s how my revolver is chambered. Even .38 spl out of a 12-inch barrel would be pretty effective and very manageable.

WilliamsSW > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/24/2018 at 20:53

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Ha! Was trying to be healthy. I’d really rather have kettle chips TBH.

Tell you what - I’ll bring you a pastrami Reuben but I’ll just have pastrami on rye with mustard, ok? That’s good stuff.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 02/25/2018 at 07:12

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desert eagle .50

f86sabre > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 02/25/2018 at 11:01

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Headsets.