Counter shitpost

"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion) 02/21/2018 at 22:25 • Filed to: Perloptiks

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Feat. Our great friends over at The Onion!

CB > AestheticsInMotion 02/21/2018 at 22:31

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I’m a big fan of this one, personally.

AestheticsInMotion > CB 02/21/2018 at 22:36

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I’m so sad comments are disabled on The Onion’s section of the Kinjasphere

CB > AestheticsInMotion 02/21/2018 at 22:37

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I would probably have put “*depressed chuckles from your northern neighbour*”.

AestheticsInMotion > CB 02/21/2018 at 22:39

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*neighbor* pal.

Sorry.

And why would chuckles be depressed? He drives a Miata

CB > AestheticsInMotion 02/21/2018 at 22:41

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I’m not your pal, bud.

AestheticsInMotion > CB 02/21/2018 at 22:43

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yamahog > AestheticsInMotion 02/21/2018 at 22:48

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you can tell it’s satire because it says Billy Graham went to heaven

¯\(°_o)/¯

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > yamahog 02/21/2018 at 23:07

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No, you’re supposed to forget all the horrorific stuff he said now, because...

R E A S O N S

AestheticsInMotion > yamahog 02/21/2018 at 23:14

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I’m assuming he went into a box, and said box was put in the ground. I know nothing of this heaven thing you speak of.

Burials are so strange to me. Untold square miles of wasted space because of a tenuous religious link... If everyone was cremated think of all the extra space for parks or housing or racetracks or whatever there would be. Does cremation mean you “don’t get in” or something...? Ugh... The waste and inefficiency bothers me. Looking up costs of funerals, I think it’s fair to say that the actual driving motive is purely profit. Kind of ironic

AestheticsInMotion > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 02/21/2018 at 23:15

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HOW DARE YOU. HE IS THE MOUTHPIECE OF GOD, INFIDEL

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > AestheticsInMotion 02/21/2018 at 23:21

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Bruh, I’m already dealing with too much religion at work, I’m just completely burned out at this point tbh

fintail > AestheticsInMotion 02/21/2018 at 23:25

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AestheticsInMotion > fintail 02/21/2018 at 23:29

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Exactly! Well... Uh. Sorta.

Somewhat related, I spotted this while browsing https://abbotsford.craigslist.ca/cto/d/68-cadillac-anti-life-mobile/6499671215.html

WilliamsSW > yamahog 02/21/2018 at 23:30

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Pretty sure that’s not heaven...

yamahog > WilliamsSW 02/21/2018 at 23:34

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if you’re saying that the Onion is hinting Graham’s personal hell would look like a paradise of The Gays, I can dig that interpretation.

WilliamsSW > yamahog 02/21/2018 at 23:34

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Yup.

sony1492 > AestheticsInMotion 02/22/2018 at 01:24

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It’s okay because sometimes they get efficient and start burying coffins on top of each other or clearing out old corpses to make way for fresher ones.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > yamahog 02/22/2018 at 01:38

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He’s okay, but his son, Franklin...that’s another story.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > AestheticsInMotion 02/22/2018 at 06:14

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I was with you until I heard something from Neil Degrasse Tyson. He said something along the lines that he would prefer to be buried (I assume without a coffin) so that his remains could give their nutritional value (for lack of a better term - I forgot his exact words) back to the earth. This makes perfect sense - cremation uses up energy and produces essentially a waste product, whereas letting nature do its thing seems like a good way to let your corpse do some good.

random001 > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 02/22/2018 at 06:24

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random001 > CB 02/22/2018 at 06:27

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I’m not your bud, friend.

BigBlock440 > AestheticsInMotion 02/22/2018 at 08:38

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Because there’s a shortage of space in this country? There’s literally millions of square miles in this country that are unused.

diplodicus > AestheticsInMotion 02/22/2018 at 09:06

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Or at least bury people without boxes so the worms get some nutrition and poop it out and give the grass nutrition.

My cousin was cremated and buried with a tree, which is pretty cool besides the whole dying thing.

fintail > AestheticsInMotion 02/22/2018 at 09:30

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Old hearses are cool, but I think he has an extra digit in the price for something that isn’t running and has an admitted rotten frame. Triple six works better, too.