"Spanfeller is a twat" (theaspiringengineer)
02/21/2018 at 10:00 • Filed to: None
5
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"Spanfeller is a twat" (theaspiringengineer)
02/21/2018 at 10:00 • Filed to: None | 5
| 18 |
Hello Kristen. Tis I, A Reader.
I highly doubt you know me; It is also highly improbable that we have even ever crossed paths. But, Mrs. Lee, I feel like
I know you.
I know you’re an excellent writer: witty, critical, funny, ironic, knowledgeable. You are probably my favorite Jalopnik writer. More than anything, Kristen, I trust you; I trust your words and your impulses about cars. Somehow you’ve earned my trust when it comes to vehicles. I read what you type thoroughly and I am always impressed by it. You’re certainly in a class of your own.
But lets have a talk, Kristen, because you lied to me. This car is no CTR killer, not in stage one, not in stage two; it’s heavier, not more powerful, and it’s probably lacking that very special anti-torque steer diff or suspension design that makes the CTR such a mechanically competent performance vehicle.
But an Accord with a chip attached to it’s engine? This isn’t a killer. It’s a competent sedan, but no competition to the CTR. What’s wrong Kristen? Why do you do this? We love your work, your drive, your inspiration. This isn’t
you
...This isn’t Jalopnik.
I know there’s a certain trend in media , a trend focused on click bait and fast reactions to things. I’ve been there, Kristen. I was at Parentesis.com for a few weeks as an intern and they would make knowledgeable individuals in the fine arts of video gaming, car geekery, and tech savvy-ness look like idiots online.
I’ve seen writers suffer through posting quotas that suppressed them; suppressed their creativity. To the point that my articles, keep in mind that I was there as an intern pretty much, were almost always on the front page with the most likes: I wasn’t pressured neither did I have a quota (mind you, I didn’t have a salary either). The editor and I (because I have such bad spelling that one of the editors would read through everything I wrote before posting it) marveled at this, I’m just a regular shitposter, they are, no:
You are a community of professionals.
A community that can and must be better than us; the laypeople.
Because if you say that a car is good, or a car is bad, you write it in such a flawless and delicate way that I buy what you say! I trust you, I use your articles as the basis for my fact checking elsewhere. It is a great merit that few people have, and we are more than lucky to see it present in people like you that dedicate themselves to journalism. I value your work Kristen, but I’m also afraid I’ll lose trust in you and your coworkers if you keep doing this clickbait stuff!
Jalopnik’s specialty is not being the norm
, you’re supposed to stand out for good! Break the cycle, don’t do what everyone else does with clickbait! Do you want to turn into some sort of influencer bullshit site liker CarThrottle? Sure, I love their videos, but I know I can’t trust them. Not like I trust you, Kristen.
Never like you.
Sincerely,
A Reader.
benjrblant
> Spanfeller is a twat
02/21/2018 at 10:04 |
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Dear A Reader,
You should be aware that facts and reason don’t get clicks. Besides, who wants to read an article titled “Make Your 2018 Honda Accord a Reasonably Competent Sedan”?
Sincerely,
Not Kristen.
MonkeePuzzle
> Spanfeller is a twat
02/21/2018 at 10:08 |
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Dearest A Reader,
My butler has given me the general gist of your letter.
My most sincere appologies for... whatever.
Have a good day.
Dictated, but not read.
FK
promoted by the color red
> Spanfeller is a twat
02/21/2018 at 10:19 |
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It’s a Honda, so the right way to make it a CTR killer is to buy stolen parts from some dude in LA/east Oakland or steal ‘em yourself.
Party-vi
> Spanfeller is a twat
02/21/2018 at 10:20 |
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The audience can infer from her article that the “killer” tuned Accord 2.0T was in reference to power output. The Civic Type R hits 306HP/295LB-FT, while the tuned Accord 2.0T would put out 335HP/353LB-FT from the same displacement. If you can count 1HP=10LB, the increase of 29HP over the Type R would net the Accord 2.0T an equivalent weight of 3,098lb, or just barely under the curb weight of the Civic Type R.
It is not Kristen’s fault that you did not understand her argument, or that your ignored the premise of the article. It is your fault for writing 500 words when you could have just wrote “I didn’t get it”. She does this for a living. Give her some respect.
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Spanfeller is a twat
> Party-vi
02/21/2018 at 10:43 |
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Mrs. King wrote that the CTR’s claimed output is underestimated, to the tune of delivering similar dyno numbers to this Accord. Dyno numbers for the Accord are barely above 300hp; that 335 magic number is the result of correcting for an industry accepted 15% drivetrain loss.
So, the accord has a gain of 10hp, which is absolutely not enough to upset a lighter hatch with better tires, suspension, diff, the list goes on and on.
I guess torque is improved over the CTR, which does say something(though Mrs. King doesn’t show the torque numbers on her article). But,it’s still no killer, it wouldn’t be able to be as quick in a straight line neither would it be braking as fast or cornering as hard. If you want an accord to even pull up to a CTR you’d be looking at a v6 probably, or an overstressed 2.0.
I respect Kristen (and in fact all of Jalopnik’s staff) a lot, but it’s undeniable that this title is overestimating the capabilities of that Accord. I am hard pressed to piss them off because they are my favorite publication.
But I certainly could’ve missed it. Iappreciate your concern to keep things clear, I won’t ignore it.
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Spanfeller is a twat
> MonkeePuzzle
02/21/2018 at 10:49 |
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Genuinely made me laugh! You just remind me of what Kristen is capable of. One of her best inventions: Fancy Kristen.
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Party-vi
> Spanfeller is a twat
02/21/2018 at 10:50 |
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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Ignore the list. Kristen pulled out the topic of power for her article, and that is what we’re basing this discussion from. Then there’s this:
“higher than the Type R’s claimed power output.”
So ignore the one-off output of a Civic Type R in Brazil. Compared to the advertised power for the CTR, the Accord 2.0T tuned to 335/353 is a killer in-that it’s making 29HP and 58LB-FT over the CTR.
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Spanfeller is a twat
> benjrblant
02/21/2018 at 10:52 |
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“make your run of the mill Accord as powerful as a CTR for 700 bucks!”
“335hp from an Accord in 700 dollars”
“Make your Accord an 330i killer for 700 bucks”
“Meet a torqueateering monster: 335hp accord”
I could go on....
brianbrannon
> Party-vi
02/21/2018 at 10:52 |
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Going to bat for an article that says a slower car is a killer? Are you being a white knight?
sony1492
> promoted by the color red
02/21/2018 at 10:53 |
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“Advanced part acquisition techniques”
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Spanfeller is a twat
> Party-vi
02/21/2018 at 11:02 |
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Last time I checked Puerto Rico was part of The United States.
Plus, advertised power from a tune company will be different from advertised power from an OEM.
Thatone off is straight out of the US, and its as valid as the one dynorun from a company that does honda tunes for a living.
Plus, we don’t know about external conditions, was that accord preconditioned? Did that CTR have enough air flowing? With the data in hand, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to suppose that the actual improvement is around 10hp and unknown amounts of torque.
I guess language’s got me there “claimed power output” is different from actual output.
But it’s still a bit misleading because the commonly accepted notion of a “(insert car) killer” is that the specs give it a sizeable advantage over the car to be killed.
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Party-vi
> Spanfeller is a twat
02/21/2018 at 11:17 |
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The article was written in a vacuum. Good call or bad, it was written that way. Your dissection of the article assumes it is not written in a vacuum and Kristen accounted for all the other information you are referencing, which did not happen because again, the purpose of the article was to tout the tuneability of the Accord 2.0T engine and how, when tuned, it exceeds the advertised output of the CTR. You spent 500 words to “tut-tut” Kristen about her writing, and your critiques aren’t even using the same parameters her article did, and now it seems like you’re purposefully ignoring the parameters of her article to tell her she did a bad job when she didn’t.
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Spanfeller is a twat
> brianbrannon
02/21/2018 at 11:21 |
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He’s not wrong to fact check me. Distrust ininternet posts should be natural and I am happy I can argue with him about Kristen’s post!
I just hoped fact checkers were as common and as knowledgeable as Oppo’s fact checking users.
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Party-vi
> brianbrannon
02/21/2018 at 11:25 |
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I think OP has a bad take. I’m letting them know. Also the article doesn’t say anything close to what you wrote. Also a bad take. Fight me.
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Spanfeller is a twat
> Party-vi
02/21/2018 at 11:29 |
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I perhaps wrote it wrongly, but I did never infer she did her job wrong. I just said that I felt lied to. If we go to the fine print of what I said I never assumed Jalopnik has a posting quota, neither did I argue that this hypothetical posting quota diminished the quality of their work. My own words that could, under fine examinations, infer Kristen was doing any sort of job was that the trend in media was clickbait. I did make many mistakes, like not showing the powerfigures or explaining why the suspension in the CTR is superior. Neither did I ever introduce the argument of “what is written” vs “what is understood” as you call them, parameters.
Vacuum and language makes you the winner of this debate because one cannot go anal only halfway, as I did, without suffering from clear issues in writting.
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Spanfeller is a twat
> sony1492
02/21/2018 at 11:44 |
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APAT: Sounds like a tunning company already!
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Spanfeller is a twat
> promoted by the color red
02/21/2018 at 11:44 |
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Run ALL rhe bost
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Party-vi
> Spanfeller is a twat
02/21/2018 at 11:54 |
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Thanks for taking my criticism in stride. It means a lot to have people like you in Oppositelock.
Also, duh, a CTR would run circles around a tuned Accord. It would just make less power ;)