Yeah...

"JeepJeremy" (jeepjeremy) 02/09/2018 at 22:07 • Filed to: Friendzone

1

64

Fellas...you know what I’m on about here!

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:11

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CB > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:13

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Not really. The friendzone is a pretty stupid concept, to be honest.

cbell04 > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:13

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You need

JeepJeremy > CB 02/09/2018 at 22:15

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That’s harsh CB. You’ve never been in a position where you feel like it should be you that’s the object of somebody’s desire and not some other dude?

JeepJeremy > cbell04 02/09/2018 at 22:15

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Cheat codes! Yes!!!

E90M3 > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 02/09/2018 at 22:16

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I think this year, I’m going to make a Christmas card to send out to everyone with my and my two E9Xs.

CB > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:17

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I mean, no one owes me their affection. Have I wanted it yet? Yeah, absolutely. But she chose someone else, not me. That’s her choice. It sucks, but you move on, and now I’m in a happy relationship with someone who wants to be with me, and who I want to be with.

JeepJeremy > CB 02/09/2018 at 22:18

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Solid response.

Ash78, voting early and often > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:19

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There’s a cheat in that part of the game, it’s called alcohol.

TheHondaBro > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:19

19

You dropped your hat.

JeepJeremy > Ash78, voting early and often 02/09/2018 at 22:19

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That didn’t work tonight. Sometimes alcohol takes an unexpected turn

JeepJeremy > TheHondaBro 02/09/2018 at 22:20

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I dropped many things tonight. None of which were picked up in a manner I was hoping for

cbell04 > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:20

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Mario Codes:

PIGOAP - Swim in air.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:21

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It’s worse than you think: she doesn’t even want to be your friend either.

JeepJeremy > cbell04 02/09/2018 at 22:22

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I don’t know that one but I think I used a “Skywalker” code once where jumps could be made continuously

I still have my game genie somewhere...

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > cbell04 02/09/2018 at 22:22

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I’m now trying to figure out how a human would interface with a game genie. I’m thinking it works like a strap on.

JeepJeremy > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/09/2018 at 22:23

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Fuck isn’t that the truth. It’s like you’re 100 times better than the dude she’s pining over but you’re invisible or worse

Spanfeller is a twat > TheHondaBro 02/09/2018 at 22:24

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I used to be a “Nice guy”

Then I realized that I needed to be myself.

Then I was cheated on.

Then I just gave up on relationships.

Never actually owned the hat, thankfully. Any time I see a Fedora-equipped nice guy I cringe

JeepJeremy > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 02/09/2018 at 22:25

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“Strap on” actually came up in conversation tonight but that involved the boyfriend BEFORE the current boyfriend.

I don’t know what it takes to get with a gal anymore.

Failure before onset is where I’m at.

JeepJeremy > Spanfeller is a twat 02/09/2018 at 22:26

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An important visual take-away from my favorite tv shoe: Northern Exposure was that fedoras symbolize DEATH

Ash78, voting early and often > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:26

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Oh, it can most definitely backfire. But it’s a pretty solid way (in moderation) to get everything out on the table.

JeepJeremy > Ash78, voting early and often 02/09/2018 at 22:28

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Word. Things are out on the table.

Apparently I’m engaged in some sort of “Chess match” with her but the next move is on her.

Fuck.

Shit is heavy, man.

Tekamul > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:28

5

Don’t waste your time. Your princess is in another castle.

JeepJeremy > Tekamul 02/09/2018 at 22:30

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This is probably the correct take.

Hard to abandon pursuit when it’s a gal you’ve known for twenty years and you think is stupendous gorgeous and awesome

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:31

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I’m in the same place as you right now. I’ve just given up for now and am going to re-evaluate in a few months or a year.

JeepJeremy > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 02/09/2018 at 22:32

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Right?!?

Regroup and soldier on

Alfalfa > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:36

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Well there’s at least one problem right there. If she wasn’t interested in the last 20 years, nothing is likely to change her mind.

cbell04 > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 02/09/2018 at 22:36

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JeepJeremy > Alfalfa 02/09/2018 at 22:37

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Hard truths

Chariotoflove > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:38

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BTDT got the t-shirt. As Joshua said,

So stop playing, take your pieces, and go find someone who wants you.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:39

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You *think* you might be better.

JeepJeremy > Chariotoflove 02/09/2018 at 22:40

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War Games has become exponentially relevant to mimy life as time progresses. Lots of wisdom in that movie

JeepJeremy > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/09/2018 at 22:42

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Very true. Ones perspective never seems to equate truth.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:42

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Dance, monkey. Dance.

nermal > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:43

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Total and complete BS.

Success at most things in life (including picking up babes) is driven by a combination of confidence, preparation, determination, and willingness to accept & move on from rejection.

It’s ok if somebody tells you “no” about anything. It generally doesn’t hurt to ask the reason behind the “no” either. Chances are, this is not the first person to tell you “no”, and won’t be the last. The most successful people are also generally the ones that have been told “no” the most.

Improve yourself. Hit the gym & improve your diet. Whatever you’re working on, work harder at it. Get a new haircut and some nice clothes. Find a passion, and pursue it. If you want something, either ask for it confidently or go get it yourself.

Obviously the girl that “friendzoned” you isn’t attracted to you. That’s ok. It’s not her fault - it’s yours. It’s funny how things work, where when you focus first on making yourself a better person, more people will be attracted to you.

JeepJeremy > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/09/2018 at 22:43

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Such is life, yes?

Puppets on strings

Chariotoflove > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:44

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Plus Ally Sheedy was smoking hot.

JeepJeremy > nermal 02/09/2018 at 22:45

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Strong stance. Thank you

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:45

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Ditch the nice guy angle, though. It doesn’t work. And no I don’t mean be a jerk. I mean don’t expect women to find a pining doormat to be desirable. You’ll get there.

bob and john > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:46

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...

I’m not even looking at the comments on this one.

JeepJeremy > Chariotoflove 02/09/2018 at 22:46

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Like CRAZY HOT?!?? Right?!?

And he had her at his place, with no adults home after school! That’s magic time when you’re 17!!!

JeepJeremy > bob and john 02/09/2018 at 22:47

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You shouldn’t need to. I’m sure you’ve heard them all before.

None of this is car related. I should be banned

Xyl0c41n3 > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:47

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Being nice to a woman (even for 20 years!) and wanting to get into her pants doesn’t obligate her to be into you. It doesn’t obligate her to date you. It doesn’t obligate her to do anything just because you want her to.

Also, thinking you’re “100 times better than the dude she’s pining over” is creepy.

If you cared about her at all you wouldn’t presume to try to make her decisions for her, you wouldn’t disrespect her decisions or her feelings — about you, but especially about people (read: guys) who AREN’T you.

The “friend zone” doesn’t actually exist, my friend. Because you’re not ACTUALLY her friend if you’re only being nice to her so you can get something out of it. You’re not being her friend if you’re waiting for her to “come to her senses” and return your romantic feelings.

Real friendships aren’t contingent on transactions like that. Real friendships don’t come with strings attached. Real friendships don’t come with resentment because you can’t control or change what she thinks and how she feels.

You’re not in the friend zone, dude. Because you’re not a very good friend.  

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > bob and john 02/09/2018 at 22:47

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You’re missing out. Harold is clearly emboldened by his fancy RWD sedan.

2Fast2Furious: Rotary Powered > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:49

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Why have you been chasing the same girl for 20 years? Dude get over yourself

JeepJeremy > Xyl0c41n3 02/09/2018 at 22:49

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Well put

bob and john > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 22:49

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like..dude. What good were you expecting out of this? honestly?

JeepJeremy > bob and john 02/09/2018 at 22:52

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Maybe I was just hoping for a different turn of events.

DipodomysDeserti > nermal 02/09/2018 at 22:53

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Relationships are partnerships, not competitions. If a girl tells you no, don’t ask why, move on. Don’t as her explain why she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. That’s fucking weird. No one is “at fault” if two people don’t end up in a relationship. That’s a very strange and unhealthy way to look at relationships.

Be yourself, and you’ll find the right person, or you won’t, that’s life.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > E90M3 02/09/2018 at 23:04

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O B J E C T O P H I L I A

JeepJeremy > 2Fast2Furious: Rotary Powered 02/09/2018 at 23:09

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I haven’t been. I’m just stating that she’s a lifelong friend and I’m hoping there’d be more to it.

Chariotoflove > JeepJeremy 02/09/2018 at 23:35

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No doubt.

Shoop > JeepJeremy 02/10/2018 at 00:47

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If you cant gwt out od the friendzone it means youre ugly, because shes not attracted to you. Move on

Shoop > Xyl0c41n3 02/10/2018 at 00:48

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Friendzone meams your ugly. Get un fat, stwet lifting dress nice, and try somewhere else.

Frenchlicker > JeepJeremy 02/10/2018 at 01:59

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It’s not so much the friend zone as the “I’m not attracted to you in that way and you should respect that” zone. Be an actual friend and get over it. Then do everybody a favor and find a person that is actually interested in you.

AM3R, lost another burner > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/10/2018 at 02:30

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Man the high school version of myself just read over this and is deep in the feels now lol.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > JeepJeremy 02/10/2018 at 07:26

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I don’t know how much help I’ve can be here. I’ve sorta been in the zone, but actually went against normal male behaviour and actually rejected her, in a way, in vain hopes of something better.

We met at work and hit it off, often going out to lunch or talking for extended periods of time (when we should have been working). There was an obvious attraction, but I didn’t know how to proceed. That turned out to be unnecessary, at that time, when I was introduced to her husband at an office gathering after work. Crap. We still talked and went to lunch, but my thinking that I had met the woman I would spend the rest of my life with was over.

She was a temp, and I was loaned in from another division for this project, and once the project wrapped up we no longer saw each other. Fast forward a year or two and she calls me up and asks me out to see a particular movie that had just been released; we were fans of the franchise, even from the underground days, and this was the first film. We went out and had a wonderful time, but at the end of the evening I had to ask what her husband thought of this...

Turns out she was getting a divorce, and he was the one that initiated it. They had been dating since high school and probably got married too soon, and in those cases the almost inevitable split happened about seven years in. From that point we were almost inseparable, albeit as friends, but people had said that we looked and acted like a happy, long-term married couple. Like I said earlier, I thought she was the one, and this was the first time I started to experience the whole ‘love’ thing. Then, through a friend because she had a difficult time saying it, she basically asked if we could try the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing. This is where it gets weird - I told her that yes, I would like to have sex, but only in the confines of a committed, monogamous relationship.

This wasn’t because of any religious convictions or anything of the sort, just my looking for a change from past scenarios. I had been in casual sexual relationships before, but as physically pleasurable as they were, they were essentially meaningless, like the empty calories of a dessert instead of a nice dinner. I was looking for something a little more substantive, and thought that she could be the one. There was something that concerned me about getting into a romantic relationship with her. Based on our friendship I saw the makings of something that could last a lifetime, and I didn’t want to be her first post-divorce plaything, tossed aside as she sowed her wild oats. Through my extremely reluctant rejection, I set her free to go out and go crazy, hoping she’d realize what a good thing she had with me and would return. I had fallen for her, and she was falling for me, but my stubbornness, hubris and insecurity got in the way. You’ve heard the whole “if you love someone, set them free...” quote, and hoped it would come true in our case, but alas, we drifted apart.

I will admit that I wasn’t exactly a perfect catch, but for her I was willing to change. The next year reality slapped me up side the head a few times, seriously humbling me, and forcing a re-evaluation of many things in life. Gone was the high-power job and six-figure income and all of the toys that went along with it. Gone was a good chunk of my self-esteem, especially after being out of work for over a year. I did get my depression and epilepsy diagnosed and treated, and I eventually found work at a crappy job at the airport, initially tossing bags part-time. Even though she wasn’t into me for the money and flash (unlike the shallow gold diggers I had dated), having known me before those heady days, I had a hard time gathering the courage to see her again. We had a couple of aborted attempts to get together, but nothing ever happened. A few years ago I reached out to her again but never heard back, so I had to accept that she has probably moved on with her life and that I needed to do the same.

I don’t know if there’s any usable information for you in that rambling, but I thank you for the opportunity to vent. I guess the key here is probably to accept the harsh reality that your dreams or desires may not happen with this person and to move on, even if that means a dry spell. Hopefully something better comes along, and will probably happen when you least expect it.

Renescent > JeepJeremy 02/10/2018 at 09:11

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Go bang another chick, you’ll find out quickly if she’s a friend or not.

JeepJeremy > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 02/10/2018 at 10:30

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Woah

That was heavy.

Life is tough

nermal > DipodomysDeserti 02/10/2018 at 12:23

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Agreed that relationships are partnerships, not competitions. My point was to take personal accountability for the situation - You must make yourself more attractive in order to get somebody attracted to you in the first place.

Don’t be yourself if that’s not working, improve yourself.

DipodomysDeserti > nermal 02/10/2018 at 12:37

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This isn’t meant to be a dig at you, but if you think meaningful, romantic relationships are based on physical attractiveness, then you’ve never been in a meaningful, romantic relationship.

“Don’t be yourself, that’s not working.”

Fucking hell, that’s the worst relationship advice I’ve ever heard. If you have to change who you are for a relationship to work, then it’s not a hathy relationship. Find peace and acceptance with yourself and even if you don’t find someone you’ll have a happy and fulfilling life.

nermal > DipodomysDeserti 02/10/2018 at 13:00

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You’re completely missing my point. This isn’t advice about actually being in a meaningful, romantic relationship (which I personally currently have, for the record), it’s about attracting somebody in the first place.

There’s a yuuuuge difference between changing who you are to make a relationship work (which I agree is a bad idea), and taking personal accountability and making yourself a better person. Don’t blame others for your current situation, and don’t just accept it if it’s not what you really want.

It appears we have a fundamentally different outlook - You’re saying to accept things the way they are now, and I’m saying that they can get better if you work at it.

DipodomysDeserti > nermal 02/10/2018 at 13:11

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The belief that being in shape and more attractive somehow makes you a better person is what I find misguided. What you wrote reads like relationship advice from Dennis Reynolds.

If you feel unhappy because you’re out of shape then definitely work on it. But thinking that physical attractiveness will help you get out of the friendzone is just wrong. Despite what porn tells us, women/men are just looking for chiseled jaws/abs/dicks/breasts when it comes to relationships. Now if you’re just looking to screw, that’s a different story.

nermal > DipodomysDeserti 02/10/2018 at 14:00

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I’m not advocating the DENNIS system. Also, if things happened in reality the way they happen in porn, there would be a lot more pizza delivery guys.

My usage of “attractive” is referring to more than just appearance.

Physical health and appearance are absolutely important, but not the end-all for being attractive to somebody else. Having confidence is attractive. Having determination is attractive. Having a passion and pursuing it is attractive. Being able to handle rejection (and other setbacks) is attractive. Being able to acknowledge that you can be better, then actually taking steps to be better, is attractive.