"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/07/2018 at 10:13 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire
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"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/07/2018 at 10:13 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire | 9
| 10 |
In response to rampant speculation over the fate of the Falcon Heavy’s mysterious barge landing yesterday, Elon Musk has taken to Twitter to explain the outcome.
Falcon Heavy, carrying not one, but two Tesla vehicles.
Although both booster rockets landed safely at Cape Canaveral as planned, the larger “Center Core” was not confirmed to have successfully landed on the offshore barge intended to receive it.
Musk tweeted cryptically early !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , “@SpaceX great job on a successful launch. Sorry about #CenterCore, I hid a Model X inside! #easteregg #notaminivan”
The Center Core reportedly landed near the barge at over 300mph – well above the 8-10mph maximum landing velocity – due to the surprise presence of Tesla’s 5,200-pound Model X minivan on board.
Musk had ordered a secretive core group of engineers to place the van inside the rocket to further promote Tesla Motors. A much lighter Tesla Roaster was placed in the nose of the craft and is currently on its way to Mars, Jupiter, the Asteroid Belt, or maybe The Sun.
Musk continued “We must not let this mishap deter us from the mission of exploring the absolute limits of poor taste in car design. And also space exploration. #yolo”
Nerd-Vol
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/07/2018 at 10:19 |
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I feel as lonely as the dummy in the Tesla in space, as I am the only person who hasn’t found this launch very interesting. The Internet loves Musk so much, and I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t get it.
BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/07/2018 at 10:19 |
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This is why you shouldn’t use Autopilot when falling from the sky.
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Ash78, voting early and often
> BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo
02/07/2018 at 10:20 |
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“Play Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone, HAL!”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Ash”
whoarder is tellurium
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/07/2018 at 10:26 |
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This could’ve been prevented had there been Tesla Superchargers available in space.
The poor thing ran out of power.
Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/07/2018 at 10:33 |
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Tesla spokeswoman Ashley stated: “The middle booster started a factory software update during re-entry. This update failed to recognize three of the eight retro boosters. The model X is only designed to handle four boosters so it was unable to take over as slave.”
Shoop
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/07/2018 at 10:40 |
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I didn’t realize this was satire. I was completely unsuprised
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Ash78, voting early and often
> Shoop
02/07/2018 at 10:42 |
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You almost can’t write satire for Trump, Musk, or any reality TV people. They ARE caricatures of reality.
davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
> Nerd-Vol
02/07/2018 at 11:03 |
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I’m cynical about Tesla’s long-term prospects and the rapid fanboi-ism of many of Musk’s “followers”, but I felt nothing but awe, wonder, respect & even joy watching the launch and booster landings live yesterday. Not interesting? This is a private company that now has the most powerful/capable space-going rocket on earth. It’s an incredible achievement.
Future next gen S2000 owner
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/07/2018 at 14:30 |
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Any confirmation of a Model S and 3 meeting with the X? Apparently excessive motion was reported.
Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/07/2018 at 17:06 |
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You talk bad about Elon Musk and it’ll be pistols at dawn, young man. Don’t even go there. Elon Musk is the coolest human being alive and note: POTUS 45's White House hasn’t made a show about calling Elon and congratulating him because Trump is JEALOUS.