The Morning Sh*t – Your Daily TL;DR Summary of Jalopnik for 2/6/2018

Kinja'd!!! "Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
02/06/2018 at 10:21 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire

Kinja'd!!!8 Kinja'd!!! 3

Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! Your daily source for car news since the year Imodium A.D.

1 st Wipe : GM paying bonuses after making $12.8B in pretax profits last year. And with Trump’s new tax plan, it’ll be…uhh…$17.9B after tax. Sure, why not.

2 nd Wipe : Dieselgate prosecutors searching homes of Audi employees. Because every sociopathic software engineer keeps a flash drive with secret emissions code hidden at home as a souvenir.

3 rd Wipe : Toyota gained $2.6B from tax cuts alone. Even management can’t explain this sudden acceleration.

4 th Wipe : Nissan gunning for the #3 spot in China (after VW and GM). If their strategy is anything like in the US, just put a Rogue on display in a mall and watch the granny panties drop.

5 th Wipe : GM salespeople seeing their per-car bonuses reduced due to new incentive program; company still offering free coffee to non-closers, which is nice.

Flush : Honda introduced the Insight in 2009 as a cheaper competitor for Prius. Remember the Insight? No, not that one, the one they brought out later with the same name. No, that’s the GM EV-1. The Insight. Honda. Never mind.


DISCUSSION (3)


Kinja'd!!! WilliamsSW > Ash78, voting early and often
02/06/2018 at 10:31

Kinja'd!!!2

Starred for the Glengarry Glen Ross reference.


Kinja'd!!! Ash78, voting early and often > WilliamsSW
02/06/2018 at 10:35

Kinja'd!!!1

Nissan just wants to get fired in China, apparently.


Kinja'd!!! punkgoose17 > Ash78, voting early and often
02/06/2018 at 10:38

Kinja'd!!!1

I rode in one of those Insights once. It was disappointing.