Here is my Super Bowl food

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 02/04/2018 at 22:27 • Filed to: None

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Just because I don’t eat animal products doesn’t mean I can’t stuff myself silly and drink lots of beer while watching some commercials with a side of sportsball.

The guacamole above is my super secret scratch guacamole with these ridiculous chips that some random Mexican joint in small town Wisconsin packages and sells in supermarkets. The secret ingredients in my guacamole are shallots, garlic powder and onion powder. The awesome chip ’n dip set is from my wedding registry.

Here’s some buffalo cauliflower “wings” where I cheated with frozen breaded cauliflower and tossed it in a mix of Smart Balance spread and Crystal hot sauce.

Next up, lentil chili with a bunch of veggies and stuff, topped with a blob of Huy Fong chili garlic sauce and fresh cilantro.

And last but not least, Tofurky Italian sausage on potato rolls with peppers, onions, basil, and spicy brown mustard hiding underneath.

I also drank many Potosi Czech Pilsners and Unibroue Fin du Mondes.

AestheticsInMotion > Textured Soy Protein 02/04/2018 at 22:25

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I’m a sucker for little boutique snacks. Those chips look bomb

Textured Soy Protein > AestheticsInMotion 02/04/2018 at 22:40

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I also impulse bought these yesterday when I was grocery shopping after the gym.

Shoop > Textured Soy Protein 02/04/2018 at 22:42

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Fucking vegans/vegetarians litteraly cant go one sentence before telling everyone there vegans/vegetarian

Get your cow food outta here.

Textured Soy Protein > Shoop 02/05/2018 at 00:22

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Tell us how you really feel.

wafflesnfalafel > Textured Soy Protein 02/05/2018 at 01:03

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I need to check out those Czech Pilsners, (no pun intended...) I like a good Pilsner.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Textured Soy Protein 02/05/2018 at 01:12

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To win a bet, I made tofu nachos one time in a recipe I have been perfecting since my pure bachelorhood days. I call them “Bacho Nachos” since they use fresh diced bell peppers and onions in addition to your protein source to be effectively stewed with the protein and taco seasoning. I cook the beans in bacon grease normally but I used some peanut and olive oil to re-fry the pinto beans and it was pretty solid. I did use cheese since I’m not willing to go that far but I think everyone just thought they were chicken nachos that I cut the chicken weirdly with.

It proves a point I’ve always tried to tell people - cover anything in enough BBQ sauce, hot sauce, or taco seasoning and you quickly lose the taste of the meat.

Oh! The best meatball “sandwich” I ever had was a vegan place that did “BBQ meatballs” in a fresh made pita wrap with crispy fried onions and a simple slaw. Those “meatballs” alone would be a killer appetizer or serve one or two on rolls as a mini sandwich. De-fucking-licious.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Textured Soy Protein 02/05/2018 at 03:27

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Pro tip: Guacamole does not contain garlic.

My guacamole is simply: Avocado, diced tomato, finely chopped onion, very finely chopped serrano, finely chopped cilantro, lime juice, and some salt. I usually top this with a layer of queso fresco and reduce the salt in the guacamole itself (this helps keep it from turning brown). Coarsely mash the avocado with a fork, then mix everything else into it. Either serve immediately or cover tightly with plastic wrap and toss it in the fridge for up to a couple days.

Textured Soy Protein > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 02/05/2018 at 08:54

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Pro tip: the garlic powder makes it taste better.

Textured Soy Protein > wafflesnfalafel 02/05/2018 at 08:55

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According to people who have more opinions than I do about beer, it’s good-not-great .

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Textured Soy Protein 02/05/2018 at 10:33

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More like amateur tip.

Then again, you live somewhere infected by Tex-Mex, so you would probably be confused by real guacamole. One of many reasons I eat “Mexican food” with considerable trepidation east of Tucson (which, itself, has some weird local variations of “Mexican food”) and north of the Tehachapis (hell, I avoid places in Los Angeles with names that are too Anglicized, as they also have weird local variations from when the place was being invaded by easterners).

Textured Soy Protein > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 02/05/2018 at 11:01

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I’m not a Wisconsin native and I’m not a slave to tradition. I make what tastes good and tweak ingredients how I feel like. But ok, go ahead and feel smug about your location.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Textured Soy Protein 02/05/2018 at 12:12

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I live in a wasteland, myself. I’m fine with that.

There are only so many spots where sufficient concentrations of people occur to end up with a large enough customer base to do be authentic. Everywhere else, you have to cater to the locals.

Here’s a comic that mostly explains how this works:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/asian_food

Textured Soy Protein > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 02/05/2018 at 12:24

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How’s the view up there? Because it sure feels like I’m being talked down to.

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > Textured Soy Protein 02/05/2018 at 13:07

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This all looks really good. I like that buffalo cauliflower idea. I may have to steal that.

Textured Soy Protein > SPAMBot - Horse Doctor 02/05/2018 at 13:18

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If I were doing it intentionally I’d probably come up withsome kind of chef-ier way to do it. But I had randomly bought this frozen breaded cauliflower at Costco a while back, and had General Tso’s cauliflower at a restaurant recently, so I figured I could buffalo-ize the stuff in my freezer without too much effort. The breading on the frozen stuff was kinda crumbly which I’m sure is fine on its own but it got a little soggy in the sauce. It still tasted good, but to get the sauce to stick while staying crunchy I might batter and fry the cauliflower instead.

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > Textured Soy Protein 02/05/2018 at 13:38

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That makes sense. Post about if you make them from scratch in the future. I think maybe doing a fry then bake similar to eggplant might be a decent way to go. Avoiding soggy breading with that method may still be difficult.

Textured Soy Protein > SPAMBot - Horse Doctor 02/05/2018 at 13:58

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I think batter will be more successful than breadcrumbs. The crumbs act like sponges. This is that General Tso’s cauliflower I mentioned. It’s a little hard to tell from this pic but basically they made cauliflower tempura then glazed it with the sauce. It was sticky and saucy on the outside but still crunchy because of the batter.

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > Textured Soy Protein 02/05/2018 at 14:19

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That looks really bomb. I wish I was eating that for lunch right now. I haven’t had anything with General Tso’s sauce in a very long time. It was a long-time favorite before I became a hippie haha

Textured Soy Protein > SPAMBot - Horse Doctor 02/05/2018 at 14:37

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I once ordered General Tso’s tofu from the junk food Chinese takeout place by my house, but was very disappointed to find that they didn’t put any breading on the tofu, they just fried it on its own but not long enough to really crisp it up, then tossed it in the sauce. It was not very good.

There’s a much better Chinese place by my office with both Americanized and traditional Chinese menus. I usual order from the traditional menu which has a good number of vegan things, but the Americanized side has General Tso’s tofu. I’m tempted to ask if it’s battered.

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > Textured Soy Protein 02/05/2018 at 16:51

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I’ll have to keep my eye out. I’m sure a place near me offers this.