![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:01 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire | ![]() | ![]() |
Welcome to The Morning Sh*t ! Grab a new roll, it’s a 10-Wiper.
1 st Gear : Ford jumping on compact crossover bandwagon. Apparently there are people in America for whom the Escape is just too much to handle, but they won’t buy a Focus.
2 nd Gear : Daimler profits limited by electrification and autonomous tech investment. Or maybe it’s the fact that they build too many different car lines. But we’ll blame the tech.
3 rd Gear : FCA didn’t just bring Italian style to America, but also Italian labor union negotiation tactics and bribery skills.
4 th Gear : German auto unions striking for big pay raise and short-term 28-hour workweek option. Germany’s Frenchification is nearly complete.
5 th Gear : Toyota has its own airbag scandal over minor shorts. If only !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! were still here, he could remove all those minor shorts.
Reverse : 120 years ago, Travelers issued the first car insurance policy. Because he was a male smoker in Hartford, Connecticut with a rear-wheel-drive convertible, the rate was astronomical.
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:06 |
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5th Gear. Oof. Take your star.
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:07 |
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5th Gear woof
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:08 |
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You should change the gears to 1 st flush, 2nd flush.....
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:09 |
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“Grab a new roll, it’s a 10-Wiper.”
Too soon, bro — I home sick due to a 50.
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:10 |
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Great idea, I might do that...
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:10 |
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Take your child star
Well MJ did that...
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:10 |
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I spend too much time in the bathroom and it shows
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:16 |
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Or wipes, as you falsely advertised this was a 10-wipe edition when clearly there were only 5 line items!
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:16 |
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Or 1st wipe, 2nd wipe, etc..... Then flush/clog the toilet
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:17 |
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4th gear: 28 HOUR WORKWEEK?!
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:22 |
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Gimme some of that kit Kat bar
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:30 |
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2 wipes per item, naturally.
The industry had chili for dinner last night.
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:31 |
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Apparently it’s sort of like FMLA in that it’s designed for special situations, but wow.
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:38 |
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5
th
Gear
: Toyota has its own airbag scandal over minor shorts. If only
Michael Jackson
were still here, he could remove all those minor shorts.
Take my star you evil man!
![]() 02/01/2018 at 11:52 |
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dang... I get asking for more than what you ultimately expect but come on...
02/01/2018 at 12:33 |
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5 th Gear : Toyota has its own airbag scandal over minor shorts. If only Michael Jackson were still here, he could remove all those minor shorts.