What Happens Next? (Personal)

"Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish" (mrfist)
12/14/2018 at 20:31 • Filed to: None

Buffer image of the Mustang and the E30 M3 at the track.

So I’ve been in kind of a funk lately, seems like the future is so far away and I’ve got no knowledge on how to get there. In general I think I’m happy, I’ve got a great girlfriend, a frickin’ Mustang, sure I don’t have many friends but the ones I have are close, I’m not paying for my college (GI Bill), I’ve got a place to live. I’m just not really sure what I’m missing, I left the military to figure myself out and shit has just gotten worse. I’ve got no clear path forward and it sucks. I’m going to take a trip up to Toronto (or near it) by myself for a week or so and try to figure myself out before it starts effecting those close to me. I’m just down and have no one to turn to and no idea where to start changing.

DISCUSSION (25)

For Sweden > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/14/2018 at 20:47

You don't need a CO dictating your schedule to have direction.

DC3 LS, Fuck Hyundai, now and forever > For Sweden
12/14/2018 at 20:51

But then how will I know where to keep my hands besides my pockets or dragging them on the ground?

Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > For Sweden
12/14/2018 at 20:51

Damn right, the path was there to follow though. I could’ve taken the easy road and kept doing it. Things will be alright, just need to set some goals and start fuckin’ getting at em.

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/14/2018 at 20:56

Start a family or something. Tie the knot. Focus more on what's good in life instead of looking for more than what you have, which is pretty damn good. Live like this and you'll realize that it's all in your head and that you're perfectly fine, overthinking never helps. I know I might sound like an asshole for saying this the way I did but that's the only way I can put it into words, and you remember the depressed fuck that I was before so trust me when I tell you that this works. I've never felt better about everything.

f86sabre > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/14/2018 at 20:57

You have a lady who loves you, a cool car and are working on your enducation. All good points. What’s you passion? What kind of meaningful work are you going to do after school is done?

Monkey B > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/14/2018 at 20:58

seek a therapist...it’s the best way as good ones listen and prod lightly to help you figure it out. And you do hear yourself and, in a strange way, figure it out on your own.

Just remember the important things, you have close friends, an SO which sounds makes you happy and a home with the means to do and have nice things.

My initial guess, you are young and your peers are doing things different and sometimes the grass looks greener. It’s the social media effect. Everyone portrays that their life is perfectly perfect and they are letting you see that. But those are moments, and life really doesn’t work that way. We are inundated with you need this to be happy...from social media, tv etc. etc. Don’t let it work on you. Again, just a guess but even if I’m wrong here someone else may benefit from reading this. Quitting Facebook saved my sanity.

Life, you get one. To quote one of my favorites, ”buy the ticket...take the ride”. So revel in who and what you have and enjoy. That you are seeking happiness is a good thing. Good luck to you.

Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > Monkey B
12/14/2018 at 21:06

I try to focus on the positive shit, I seriously just want to go back to a flip phone. If you want to talk or tell me something you can call. That’s the goal with getting away to Canada for a week, leave it all behind. Shut the phone off and go explore and enjoy. Thank you.

Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute
12/14/2018 at 21:08

Not quite ready for the family thing, we’ve only been together a year and are both trying to figure shit out. We’re like 1.5 hours from each other so we only get together for a few days every 2 weeks.

Monkey B > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/14/2018 at 21:37

Sadly we need these phone things, but luckily we can choose to not engage them constantly. But I do miss the glorious days when your whereabouts wasn’t always known, your mistakes weren’t recorded and people had patience for responses. Enjoy your hiatus!

someassemblyrequired > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/14/2018 at 21:48

I guess what are your long term goals? Both serious and fun?

Life gets trickier in your 20s, and it is an adjustment. There will be lots of folks pretending to be happy on social media, but they are trainwrecks. Life is tricky and not always pleasant as you get a bit older .

The adjustment from the military also a tough one. I mean in the military once you get past the baddies shooting at you most things are just taken care of. Job sucks? Wait a year or two. Housing? Covered. Health Insurance? We got you. And then when you get out you’re on your own and you gotta deal with all that without the backstop you used to have.

A change of venue never hurt, and maybe making some plans for next year? I mean I just saw a Europpomeet announcement this morning. Can you do a semester abroad with school? Cool internship next summer?

gettingoldercarguy > Monkey B
12/14/2018 at 21:59

Definitely the therapist, they’re golden when life gets tricky. Additionally, if you like going outdoors, make time to hike or whatever. If you like animals, volunteer at a shelter, same goes for people. If provides some awesome perspective that social media curiously lacks.

My wife will get in a funk if we don't do something outdoors once a week, very therapeutic.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute
12/14/2018 at 22:09

Making incredibly important life decisions to try to fulfill an emptiness in your life is horrible advice.

phenotyp > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/14/2018 at 23:04

Yeah, don’t rush that.

DipodomysDeserti > HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute
12/14/2018 at 23:07

Probably the worst advice I’ve ever seen given.

“I don’t know what I want in life.”

“You should get married and make some people.”

Thanks Florida!

DipodomysDeserti > For Sweden
12/14/2018 at 23:08

Well....

TheRealBicycleBuck > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/14/2018 at 23:32

You just found the solution. When I start getting down, I find something positive to do and do it. It’s part of the reason I’m trying to get my pilot certificate.

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > DipodomysDeserti
12/14/2018 at 23:49

yeah those were my drafted suggestions that i deemed stupid and meant to delete and leave the rest... i was just spouting ideas until i wrote something that made sense because its been a long day and im tired. but “thanks florida”? that was kinda uncalled for. im not like the rest of these idiots and would appreciate never being lumped in with the general population, thanks

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
12/14/2018 at 23:50

yeah i meant to delete that first part. its been a long day....

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/14/2018 at 23:51

i had meant to delete that first part because i was just spouting random ideas, then remembered something that made sense (the second part). sorry about that

Stef Schrader > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/15/2018 at 01:35

This sounds depressingly familiar, and I frankly don’t know what to do with myself, either. So, I guess I’m here to say you’re not alone. This happens more often than you’d think, and there’s no shame in maybe reaching out to the close friends you’ve got to ask what to do next, or where to find help figuring it out.

Monkey B > Stef Schrader
12/15/2018 at 06:53

I’m 44...I still don’t know what I wanna do when I grow up. Unfortunately this is something that most struggle with until they are too old to do anything at all.

The plus for the younger generation is the marriage, house, kids, picket fence etc. ideal is no longer the must have dream. I hear more young people want for different lives, no children etc. They may change their minds and that’s fine because life evolves and that’s healthy. Alternative lifestyles are becoming more and more accepted, and I love that. Plus, I think for many people your 20's are just too soon to start a family. Not just the financials, but patience comes easier in your 30's.

Now, the you ain’t shit without a degree business needs to stop, and I do see it gaining traction. But man are young people today in a hard spot with this must have a degree to get in any door to try and carve out a career. One of my closest friends started co-oping in high school at Chase in 92 . Got hired full time after graduation and is now a VP of some department (I dunno what she does). Ch ase nurtured that, they invested in a good person and gained a valuable employee. She’s had some outside training or schooling when necessary, but she does not hold any degrees. That simply wouldn’t happen now. I can’t imagine how stressful it is starting out these days knowing that companies see everyone as disposable .

Monkey B > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/15/2018 at 06:59

that distance and time you get in the relationship, is that something that is possibly making you down, yearning for more ? Or do you both prefer it that way. It wouldn’t work for me, and would probably bring me down a little. But it may be just fine for you. Just throwing a dart out there.

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/15/2018 at 07:33

Best advice I’ve ever got: Don’t dwell on what you don’t have or know, be thankful for what you do have and know.

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/15/2018 at 07:34

Go back to a flip phone.

Seriously, it seems smart phones cause more issues than they’ll ever solve.

xsnowpig > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish
12/15/2018 at 08:49

without making too many assumptions about your life, i will offer this- what’s the rush for you personally to get to that future that seems so far away? you are currently using the GI bill to invest in a future that made sense to you at the time of that decision. if that road doesn’t fit your current vision, you can either change course or finish what you started, and have the option to change later. if you had a shit-ton of student debt, changing to something else might be more challenging/risky.

the career i am in now is quite fulfilling for me, but i got to age 30 before i went to grad school for it. it’s insane to think that most people know exactly what works for them as an adult while deciding on a career path in their younger years.

just my $0.02. live your life.