Best advice I've ever gotten

"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch)
12/12/2018 at 18:23 • Filed to: None

Im supposed to relay the best advice I’ve ever gotten in one sentence for a work thing.

And I’m sick and my brain no work good so Im ready to accept your submissions. Lay it on me oppo.

DISCUSSION (70)

vicali > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:28

Shiny side up.

Future Heap Owner > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:30

“Send it”

RallyWrench > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:33

Run.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:35

Never taste coolant.

WilliamsSW > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:35

Never make bacon naked.

AestheticsInMotion > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:35

Snow tires > awd

Chariotoflove > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:35

Here’s one but not from me. When I was writing college applications, an example book I got had suggestions for answering the essay question, “What’s the best advice you ’ve ever been given?” The answer from the applicant (who was successful in getting admitted) was, “Move your ass!”. He went on to explain in his essay that he was crossing a street and about to get hit and a guy yelled that from a car and saved his life.

This may not help you, but I got to tell the story, so it’s a win for me.

BlurpleToyotaDishwasher > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:36

The best piece of work-related advice I ever got given, about a week into my first office job, was to always go outside at lunch.

HammerheadFistpunch > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
12/12/2018 at 18:36

it may look and taste like Kool aid and it...uh...what was I talking about again?

Chuckles > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:36

Don't eat the yellow snow.

HammerheadFistpunch > Chariotoflove
12/12/2018 at 18:37

thats funny, my temp one was “look out!”

Spamfeller Loves Nazi Clicks > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:37

Just because you could doesn’t mean you should.

Berang > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:38

Don’t fart... backwards

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:39

Don’t be a dick.

jasmits > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:39

Don’t be a dick.

Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:40

Hmmm... Instead of trying to be clever I’m going to go with the obvious “Be excellent to each other.” ;-)

Chariotoflove > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:41

I’ll give you another one that won’t help you. When I started teaching here, one of the associate deans told me that whenever I have a female student in my office, the door should stay open.

HammerheadFistpunch > Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo
12/12/2018 at 18:43

sadly my coworker already took that one

Phyrxes once again has a wagon! > Chariotoflove
12/12/2018 at 18:44

100% this, if you are ever in a room 1 on 1 with a student as an instructor leave the door open and generally stay in the view of someone walking by in the hallway. As a bonus get a coworker to walk by and check in on occasion .

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:45

Don’t whiz on the electric fence:

bob and john > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:46

always prepare for the worst. that way you are happy to be disappointed .

Chariotoflove > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:47

I say go with that.

RutRut > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:48

Never discuss politics or religion with the people that sign your paycheck or let you date their daughter. Told to me by an old dude in a bar.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:49

Don’t buy FCA

CB > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:50

There are no winners in a dairy challenge.

interstate366, now In The Industry > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:52

My dad said when someone asks you why you did so mer hing, never say you don’t know. Any reason, however crappy, is more professional.

TheRealBicycleBuck > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:53

I have several for you:

Don’t tug on Superman’s cape.

Don’t spit into the wind.

Don’t pull the mask off the ol’ Lone Ranger.

Don’t mess around with Jim.

I may have heard all that in a song....

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > TheRealBicycleBuck
12/12/2018 at 18:55

Never pee uphill.

E39, K5. Whatever it takes. > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:56

This has served me well... Don’t confuse effort with results.

HammerheadFistpunch > TheRealBicycleBuck
12/12/2018 at 18:57

how about slim? can i mess with slim?

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 18:59

As I’ve said a number of times here, my mother advised me one that “If I can’t say anything nice then I should shut the fuck up”.

Not sure this is the most appropriate wording for a corporate video though...

lone_liberal > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:02

Harry says it best:

TheRealBicycleBuck > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:07

Is his last name Jim? If so that presents a conundrum - on one hand, you shouldn’t mess around him, on the other, you should snap into him.

Svend > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:09

It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.

You can’t cure stupid, so don’t let stupid people get to you.

Just because it seems like a good idea, it doesn’t mean it is a good idea.

Remember, stupid people don’t know they are stupid.

Yes, they are stupid, but they are still your boss.

SPAMBot - Horse Doctor > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:10

If you are going through hell, don’t stop

Alternatively, and I’ve been saying this more and more lately: W hole game shady.

Future Heap Owner > Svend
12/12/2018 at 19:16

Similarly, George Carlin’s excellent advice:

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are dumber than that”

Just Jeepin' > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:17

That’s an easy one for me: u se 4 low when crawling down a hill in order to lay off the brakes.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:19

You spend 1/3 of your life at work you better like what you are doing.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:20

Sleep is never wasted time*

*to a point.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:20

There is such a thing as a stupid question.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:21

To quote / paraphrase Mark Twain: “it’s better to remain quiet and have people think you’re stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:21

So we will be deicing in slc? Great!

Ssfancyfresh > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:26

Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear

jvirgs drives a Subaru > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:33

If you ain’ t first, you’ re last.

HammerheadFistpunch > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
12/12/2018 at 19:38

it’s all done

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > HammerheadFistpunch
12/12/2018 at 19:40

Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment .

We relentlessly drilled this lesson into new guys in my Marine Corps unit, and it has continued to serve me well as a motto in state/local government work and academia.