"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich)
11/25/2018 at 19:16 • Filed to: None
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"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich)
11/25/2018 at 19:16 • Filed to: None | 0
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I recently saw a funny post about how someone got a knock on the door from some Jehovah’s Witnesses just as they were covered in blood splatters from cutting a side of beef down to size for a big BBQ they were gonna have.
As a joke, they invited the Jehovah’s Witnesses in to come join their Satanic Ritual.
Anyway... It got me thinking... who would want to be a Satanist and what’s the appeal of being a Satanist compared to being a Communist? And how would that impact the cars they choose?
If you had to choose, which would you be? But before you pick, I’m gonna define the imaginary world where living as a Satanist in a Satanist area or living in a Communist in a Communist area are your only choices:
The Satanists:
Totally into luxury brands to the point that they don’t have non-luxury brands. So no Fords, Chevies, Dodges, etc. It’s all BMW, Mercedes, Lexus, Infinity, Audi, Tesla, Porsche, Ferrari, Lamborghini, etc. Old/dead luxury brands like Packard and Duesenberg are acceptable as well. Buick, Oldsmobile, Mercury, Volvo, Citroen and Saab are acceptable as long as they’re higher end, nicer higher trimmed models.
If you just want a basic car, the lowest you can go is something like an Audi A3... though some people you’re a little suspect. And drive a BMW Isetta.... well you’re just asking for trouble. You might be accused of being an in-the-closet Communist. And don’t even thing of pulling shit by driving a Mercury Tracer or a Citroen 2CV.
SUVs way more popular than minivans.
Interiors... either leather or velour
The Communists:
Adverse to luxury brands. It’s all Fords, Chevies, Dodges, VWs, Skodas, Nissans, Trabants, Ladas, etc
Basic cars are revered. You wanna get laid? Show up in a Morgan 3 wheeler! Show up in a Toyota Avalon and people will look at you sideways. Show up and park your VW Phaeton and your car may end up like George Costanza’s dad’s car:
High performance cars like the Hellcats and Vipers are acceptable. Even communists can justify having a high performance vehicle “because the performance might be needed”. Case in point... the MIG fighter jet that keeps those decadent Satanists at bay.
Minivans are viewed far more favourably than SUVs
Interiors... Leather and Velour is gauche. Driving something with functional interiors like this will earn you respect:
Here’s the link to the poll as I couldn’t figure out how to show up the way it has in the past:
!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
(sidenote: The pics I included in this post all got Kinja’d. I add the pics, I save, pictures gone. Don’t know why.)
For Sweden
> Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
11/25/2018 at 20:40 |
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Successful Communists love luxury brands
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Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
> For Sweden
11/25/2018 at 20:59 |
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Yeah but we’re talking about the Proletariat here... the regular Olegs and Igors.
nermal
> Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
11/25/2018 at 21:00 |
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We’ll just overlook comparing a religion to a political ideology and all of the problems that go along with that....
Modern satanists basically believe that the “7 Deadly Sins” are instead virtues. Plus they’ve got Slayer, so their music is automatically better. I’m picking that side.
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For Sweden
> Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
11/25/2018 at 21:03 |
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The mere p roletariat are slackers who can’t be bothered to pay attention in Workers Council meetings. If they were successful, they would have full Party m embership and a degree fro m Moscow State.
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Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
> For Sweden
11/25/2018 at 21:04 |
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“The mere proletariat are slackers who can’t be bothered to pay attention in Workers Council meetings.”
Hence, them revering car choice that are more basic.
Ash78, voting early and often
> For Sweden
11/25/2018 at 21:09 |
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No joke, I was actually leading a Sunday School class this morning talking about the most extreme cases of hoarding wealth and power were secular autocrats like North Korea. Cuba is very close. Anyone in the party is riding around in an S Class, everyone else is starving to death. The theme was more philosophically about how to best use knowledge and wisdom as blessings to others.
wafflesnfalafel
> Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
11/25/2018 at 21:13 |
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I’m kinda surprised Satanism isn’t more popular with the conservative Ayn Rand crowd - it fits fairly well with that dogma. Most of the “Satanists” that get any press sound like they just want to annoy born agains - which is fine, more power to them, but it’s not really an accurate use of the terminology.
And Communism just doesn’t and never will work. I t’s so completely opposite from basic human instincts - so anybody saying they are one just wants to take you money or worse. I understand the pie in the sky appeal where everybody loves each other and works together - except that is complete BS.
My bird IS the word
> Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
11/25/2018 at 21:31 |
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Is there a difference?
DipodomysDeserti
> Ash78, voting early and often
11/25/2018 at 21:42 |
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*Looks South, sees migrants being refused entry to the richest nation on earth which also claims to be a Christian nation. Remembers Jesus real talking his followers during the Sermon on the Mount.*
“You hypocrite! First remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
Damn, I’d make a really good preacher. Except I’d tell Christians if they really believed any of this stuff they’d need to get rid of all their crap and start living communally. Wait...
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DipodomysDeserti
> wafflesnfalafel
11/25/2018 at 21:44 |
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Humanism is plenty popular with the real deal Randites. They just know Christianity is a good tool to get people to go along with stuff.
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Ash78, voting early and often
> DipodomysDeserti
11/25/2018 at 22:27 |
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There’s an attitude (disclosure: I watch zero cable news and don’t read many op-eds) that it’s something of a scam when all these people show up at once, but there is absolutely, genuinely a problem for most of them back home. What kind of scammers travel thousands of miles to protest? Or just to make a scene like a bunch of college students on a boring Friday afternoon?
My daughter’s best friend is from Honduran parents — they’re good friends of ours, too — and their families are mostly back home and can definitely vouch for the difficulties, corruption, gangs, etc. But even they can’t seem to do much about it because our governments are getting in the way of true humanitarian aid (plus Mexico and Guatemala, to some degree).
All I know is Trump (and Sessions) have been despicable through all of this in their fostering of rhetoric against human beings.
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DipodomysDeserti
> Ash78, voting early and often
11/25/2018 at 22:49 |
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Right?
Yeah, sounds like a great scam. Travel from central America to Tijuana, to sit in an outdoor camp with your kids...
Or.... travelling through jungles controlled by drug cartels is a lot safer for people, especially women and children, if you’re in a large group that attracts media attention.
I used to build houses in Mexico and my sister helped build an orphanage in Guatemala, so my family has seem some of this first hand.
I think Jesus had a lot of great stuff to say. I wish more offollowers would listen to him.